Here are the details.....
We always start with me just about begging for sex and when that doesn't work I try to make him feel guilty so he will do it with me. 99 out of 100 times I start the encounter, give him oral or whatever, do anything and every thing to him and he just lays there with his eyes closed and I barely even get a reaction. He says he is into it and he loves what I do but damn, can a girl get a break and get something too? We are always in the same positions and the same thing happens every time. It is like he can only come one way and it is getting really tiresome to me but I keep trying. I really love this man and want to share the world with him but it seems like this is becoming more mechanical every day We have only been together for about a year and a half now but in the beginning the sex was awesome! What the hell is going on? Any advice???
2006-09-26 11:36:38 · 20 answers · asked by sweetshellybelle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ooooooh boy.
Ok, lets look at two factors here. First, take your hands and clasp them together in your lap. Now look at them. Which thumb is on top? Now reverse them so that the other thumb is on top. Don't just read, stop and do it. Ok, so how did it feel? It was awkward right? That is because we are creatures of habbit. If it works great one way, then why change it? Well, it's unfortunet for you that he has fallen into this repeative position because it feels good and he is garanteed to get off. There are millions of people out there who are guilty of the same thing.
Next, lets asks ourselves why is he keeping his eyes closed.. While most men like to watch you perform oral sex it would seem strange that he would just lay there like a corpse. I don't know how well you perform oral sex, but it is much more than just licking and sucking. Be sure you pay very close attention to his intire body. Every muscle must be clinched or your not doing it right. When you let loose, you should see his entire body quickly relax. Personally, I think he may be off in dream land. He may be watching his favorite little made up movie in his mind. The one that really turns him on when he's masterbating. You should ask him these questions. Find out if he's kinky but judy afraid to tell you. Share some of your wild sexual desires with him and then maybe he'll open up to you. Does he drink alchohol? If so, maybe you could loosen him up with a few drinks before the conversation. Wine is the best for warming up sexually...
Good Luck! and Check out this site to learn about low sex drive:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-2659.html
http://www.sexualpositionsfree.com/
2006-09-26 12:06:55 · answer #1 · answered by Shawnie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so tired of women claiming GAY the moment a man doesn't enjoy sex with us. Take a look at yourself and how you treat him or talk to him or initiate sex. You solved your own problem when you said the word "GUILT". WHO wants to be guilted into having sex by someone they love? That isn't gay, that is human nature. Stop making him feel guilty for not having sex with you - if he's not into it in the beginning, dont force him or nag him. Back off a little and try playing hard to get for once. Don't initiate...men love the chase baby and you're forcing it down his throat. Surprise him once by just saying you want to cuddle and not have sex.....if you REALLY love him, you'll have the conversation - in a calm caring manner tell him you've noticed a change.....don't get all offended if he says something u don't like LISTEN! Communication is the first step, if that doesn't work - try counseling. DON'T get married if he doesn't talk to you or agree to counseling. Be honest with yourself and your needs.
2006-09-26 18:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, it was "awesome" in the beginning, but it went down the drain in only a year? That's really weird, I'd say. I've had better luck than that in casual relationships - and marriage is supposed to be all that, and more. I'd say, have a serious talk with him - without getting mad or accusing him of anything; just talk to him, and suggest counseling if necessary. Some guys just aren't much into sex in general (yes, it does happen!) - but it's usually apparent from the beginning. Perhaps, he's not in love with you as much as you are with him.
2006-09-26 18:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I would try initating sex somewhere other than the bed...try and jazz it up a little. Then if he can only come one way that is fine....end it that way....doesn't mean it all has to be like that. Something else you may want to try are bringing toys into the bedroom. You can't even imagine the great sex you both could have.
2006-09-26 18:45:40 · answer #4 · answered by smilestoomuch 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not even married yet and you are already having sexual problems?!?! Trust me, it will just get worse. Make sure he doesn't have any health problems and then tell him to give it up or get the hell out. You need to find someone with the same sex drive as you or you won't be happy!
2006-09-26 19:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by soulmatedp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being very selfish, sounds like my wife. I don't know what to tell ya, if you find out e-mail me. My wife refused to go to counseling too! asked several times. Just though I would share since we have the same problem. We have been together for 18 years. Good Luck.
2006-09-27 01:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by tm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not married yet, tell him it was better in the beginning and ask him what his problem is. If that don't work dump him and look for a more exciting mate. I'm sure that there is one out there that would like to do it to you and enjoy it. There are books out that might help him if he wants to read them.
2006-09-26 18:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by Alien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THE NEXT TIME THAT YOU GUYS ARE ABOUT TO HAVE SEX GRAB HIS HANDS AND GUIDE THEM OVER YOUR BODY LETTING HIM TOUCH THE SPOTS THAT YOU WANT. OR BRING SOME TOYS TO THE BED. GET MASSAGE OIL OR SOME WHIP CREAM OR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE THAT HE EATS. THAT WILL DEFINITELY GET HIM WORKING HIS HANDS AND GET A BETTER REACTION OUT OF HIM.
DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR SELF A GOOD PENIS LICKERPERSON. IF THE ANSWER IS YES THEN THAT SHOULD AUTOMATICALLY GET A REACTION OUT OF HIM.
WHILE YOU SUCK HIS COCK REMEMBER THAT MEN LIKE THERE BALLS TO BE LICKED TOO. AND ALSO USE YOUR FREE HAND TO RUB HIM DOWN.
NEXT TIME YOU COULD ALSO TRY PUTTING ON A DANCE SHOW FOR HIM
DON'T FORGET TO MOAN AND GROAN FOR HIM TO.
MEN ALSO LIKE FOR YOU TO SWALLOW THERE GLORY.
HAVE FUN
I KNOW I DO
2006-09-26 23:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that he has hit that mode that he will not satisfy you. Scared he will not perform well. So I suggest to you to change it up. A little lingerie, a little area shaved, a little whip cream and then tell him to come eat a little desert. If there is no reaction here I would say dump him hes fooling around.
2006-09-26 18:42:51 · answer #9 · answered by xeson1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can he be gay, my daughters boyfriend was the same way, we found out he was useing her to fool his family, and my sisters first husband did the same thing, he has since found a nice guy and told his family, My sister is still friends with him, but is remarried to a wonderfull man who loves her very much , and loves sex with her..
2006-09-26 18:45:01 · answer #10 · answered by fuxaround 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋