my husband is never in the mood quite frankly im getting bord. I am 31 he is almost 40. What would you do? I am young attractive and bord. we dont really have much of a sex life he works all the time and is eather on the computer playing poker or watching football. he doesnt even take me out on dates or anything anymore and then he gets pissed at me for going out with my friends. What would you do.
2006-09-26 11:04:14 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we have toys and video and he wont budge. I have tons of sexy outfits from fredricks he could care less, and having a battery opperated boyfriend around isnt exactly the same as a flesh and blood man
2006-09-26 11:10:20 · update #1
Go anyway!
Sorry, I had to answer your last question first. So you say you are attractive, does this mean that you don't have a weight problem? Having good looks but being over weight can some times impact a mans sexual drive if he is turned on by thin women. But, if that's not an issue with you, then maybe he has a problem with impotence. While impotence and loss of libido are two separate things, men who experience impotence commonly experience a decrease in libido over time.
Inhibited desire is the most common sexual dysfunction, effecting one in three couples. 20% of married couples have a non-sexual marriage (being sexual less than ten times a year) and 30% of non-married-couples who have been together longer than two years have a non-sexual relationship. Desire problems can drain intimacy and good feelings from the relationship.
Although men may not want to talk about having a low libido, not doing so may create anxiety and heartbreak in their wives just as you are currently feeling. Since discrepancies in sexual desire can cause tremendous frustration, it is especially important for your husband to show affection when his libido is low.
Check out this site to learn more:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-2659.html
2006-09-26 11:15:15 · answer #1 · answered by Shawnie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I have to say.."wow" I have pretty much the same situation going on!! It definitely in my opinion is an age thing (I'm 33 hes 42)........ I have been so frustrated and bord too..... I have noticed that when I put my feelings aside and try to get him to relax and offer him a back rub, I shower and slip into something not too obvious and put a little perfume on that I know he likes, we go into the bedroom and I put just something on TV for background noise, and get him to relax, he starts talking about his day at work etc.... Then, I just mess with him and act like I really just am interested in the back rub, but in turn I tell him I need a little rub too........ That's when he seems to forget that there "were no intentions" of anything more than a back rub. It doesn't work all the time but it does get him to come around and usually give in....Have patience and as the saying goes "kill em with kindness" Good luck to you!!!!
2006-09-26 11:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by katz.eyez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you should talk to him and see if there is a reason he is not interested in you. It might be he is coming to a point in his life that sex is just not very important anymore.
As a man, I will tell you that the only reason that I become less interested in sex is because I'm bored in bed. Although, I am not him so this could be far from his reasoning. Maybe he needs a little kink to get him going again. Or maybe he is just tired of you.
You could always try and be aggressive with him and TAKE HIM TO BED
2006-09-26 11:12:17 · answer #3 · answered by Slappin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the nature of marriage. I'm still not sure why you people get into this perdicerment in the first place.
#1 Men are not geneticly made to please women. They are made to have sex with many different women, so as to spread thier seed. Its not good or bad or evil, it is just that way. I'm betting he is bored too.
#2 It sounds like you don't have kids. That is the only viable reason I can see for getting married. Go have fun, get laid, and break up with the guy. He will not change until he sees he is losing you.
2006-09-26 11:11:04 · answer #4 · answered by C P R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aw. im sorry. try to understand what he wants. and confront him about how you feel and that you still have a sex drive. you or you both can go get some counsiling on it and/or advice.
I'm sure it'll make things better just a little bit if not at all.
Hey i was just wondering...do you ever regret that you married somone 9 years older than you? i know age doesn't matter but do you think if you married somone closer to your age this problem would occur?
2006-09-26 12:29:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would dump him. There are PLENTY of 30-something guys out there that have more sex drive than you could satisfy (and some inbetween.)
I also highly recommend the book "The Story of O." A few pages in and you'll know what to do.
If you can't fix him and you won't dump him, there really only seems to be one other option to get your fix. But are you ready for that?
And BigChiefBarfbag (above) may have something there: if you ARE hot, he might be gay.
2006-09-26 11:09:05 · answer #6 · answered by Trixie D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask him to get a check up at the doctors office. Does he masturbate? Could be a low sex drive, could be that he is depressed or may have some other health issues. If none of those reasons apply, I don't know - if you love him you're going to have to find a way to be satisfied with what you get. You could always try getting some instructional DVD's or something, have a date night - or just be naked together and cuddle without the pressure to have sex. It starts with intimacy....give to him and hopefully he'll give back. (try giving him a middle of the night oral surprise....see what happens!!!!)
2006-09-26 11:10:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that you have let him know that you want to be intimate with him. If he feels like every time he has wanted it you have been tired or not in the mood he may have given up.
If that is not the problem then I think he is old before his time, at least in this. I am 65 and you would never catch me not wanting you and I haven't even seen you.
We are all different so all you can do is talk to him.
2006-09-26 11:14:09 · answer #8 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well either drop the old sod and get yourself some one decent OR do something to jazz up your sex life.
How about showing up at his office with just your coat on (and naked underneath), or take him to a busy restaurant while wearing a super mini-skirt and casually tell him that you're not wearing any panties, then drop his wallet under the table...or just a leave copy of hogtied bitches mag by his computer and when he questions it, just casully say you wondered what it be like if he were to do that to you!
Well, you get the picture...
2006-09-26 11:13:57 · answer #9 · answered by Norman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have EXACTLY the same problem and I have tried to talk to him about it and frankly he just blows me off like I am being silly or something. He says he loves me and that YES he is attracted to me. Last year he blamed it on his job and that he works alot, well hell so do I ... I am in the military for crying out loud and to vent let me say I am at work WAY more than him but somehow I seem to chase him around. Honestly I am in the same situation and I am bored too. I have even told him I am bored but I just get this stare and really no answer and he makes just about no effort to try anything. I have tried the same things you have said and no results. If you find out what works let me know too! Good luck!!!
2006-09-26 11:28:02 · answer #10 · answered by sweetshellybelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋