Do you know why he decided to tell you this? Were these flings before he met you? If they were before he met you, then there is no need to fret. You can say you are angry that he told you this stuff and you wish he hadn't. Maybe he felt like he was "hiding" something from you by not telling and wanted to be honest and upfront with you. If it was just to make you jealous and upset, then that is, of course, very very wrong.
2006-09-26 10:59:05
·
answer #1
·
answered by J.Z. 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
if this was before you then think did you come into the marriage completely untouched with no past behind you? If this has been since you were married...you will never ever forget and there will always be some anger towards him because you lost trust in him. And it is completely okay to have those feelings! The thing is getting yourself to live with it. If you feel that you just can not accept a cheating husband then do whats best for YOU! Because that's what he was thinking about when he was with his flings..himself, and not you or your feelings. He might have told you to lessen the burden on himself. But this isn't your burden to carry..make him aware of this and don't let him forget that this is HIS problem not yours and he should be that one that is losing sleep and not you!
2006-09-26 11:40:49
·
answer #2
·
answered by tweedy778 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
I'm assuming that these flings happened after you where married...because anything before that is water under the bridge...(so to speak). Actually most marriages don't last when infidelity is involved. The anger and trust issues will always be there unless you can totally let go. It is truly very hard for a mortal human to do that. Letting go of the anger may need to be coupled with Marriage counseling, praying and an individual self help group. Most people give up, I can truly say that I might too. A person can only take so much. One would be bad enough to handle but you said flings (plural) so now he's streaching your forgivness. Take a deep breath...if you have children, you might want to do anything to make it work. Gods Pease
2006-09-26 11:18:35
·
answer #3
·
answered by mslorikoch 5
·
0⤊
0⤋
Not enough info. Past flings before you had known each other, or while you were married? If it was before you were together - just forget about it; it's great that he's had the experience, you're getting the benefits. If you're uncomfortable hearing about it, ask him to not bring it up. (I don't know why he would be telling you these things to begin with, it's quite unnecessary.) If the "flings" were during your marriage - not good, and I don't blame you for feeling resentful. Try to figure out what the reasons were - is he unhappy? bored? Does he have a hard time with committment? You might benefit from professional counseling.
2006-09-26 11:28:50
·
answer #4
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
First realize that he told you because he wants to be honest and tell you everything. He didn't mean to upset or anger you. I know why you feel the way you do, anyone in your shoes would.
Realize if this was still his behavior that he wouldn't have confided in you. Your relationship has grown to where you are now. Perhaps knowing how he loves you can help you from feeling angry.
He does have to acknowledge your hurt, anger and also own up that his flings were just plain wrong. It will be impossible to forgive him or move on if he doesn't.
I feel for you, You are in a difficult situation. You love him and obviously he loves you, but he sxrewed up.
HERE IS AN AWFUL THOUGHT AND ONLY USE IN EXTEME MEASURES ~
I know this is playing games, but maybe it would help
if he knew the pain you felt.
Tell him you are glad that he could be honest
and that you need to be honest too.
Tell him about a couple of your flings.
Wait a day and then be honest on how you were feeling.
Keep this answer just incase he doenst believe you.
2006-09-26 11:23:09
·
answer #5
·
answered by galbee 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Try and understand that those past flings happened before you came into his life. The past is in the past yes? YOU are with him now, and you have a life together with him. Isn't that what's important? At a certain age, I'm sure we've all had a significant other or two in the past before you meet 'the one.' Why feel angry about that? Be happy that you're with him, and look towards the future :)
2006-09-26 10:59:48
·
answer #6
·
answered by Strawberry 2
·
1⤊
0⤋
You need to ask youself a few questions.
1) are these really PAST flings? If yes, you can't undo them, so why are you angry that he had them? He didn't know you, then. Suck it up and get over it. Did you tell him about your prior boyfriends?
2) why did he feel the need to tell you about them? Did you ask him for this information? If not, it's strange that he would volunteer it, especially if he knew that it would hurt you.
If you asked him about it, and he answered truthfully, then you have no one to blame but yourself.
You have no right to feel angry about how he lived his life before you, unless he had unprotected sex and gave you an STD. Or if he is comparing your sexual attributes to others he knew before. That would be just hateful and mean.
2006-09-26 11:03:43
·
answer #7
·
answered by phantomlimb7 6
·
2⤊
0⤋
How about (1) the fact that he did tell you about the past flings and (2) how about the fact that it is YOU he comes home to every night.....because he wants to...not because he has to.
Give him the benefit of the doubt........everyone has a past....unless you got him from the cradle....you couldn't have been that naive to believe that you were his first.
Were you his first? If not...have you ever told him of your past?
There is a reason is it called "THE PAST"....cause that is where it supposed to be left!!!!
Love him with your whole heart and soul and thank God every day that it is two of you that are together...you won, Honey!!! Enjoy it!!!!!
2006-09-26 12:37:36
·
answer #8
·
answered by lildragonlexi 4
·
0⤊
0⤋
I study the completed project. maximum likely because you sound alot like me. virtually each and every project is an same. that is going to easily worsen if no longer fixed.A therapist would help. per chance merely make a time with him and sit down and communicate. tell him issues ought to regulate he has to care about your thoughts and the sex project is a huge deal. it truly is a shoot to the ego even as your important different gained't have sex with you. and then they communicate about another lady and how particular aspects look. My husband went to a bachelor social gathering or maybe as he got here abode or could i say when I stumbled on him mendacity on the backyard that evening he got here abode all he changed into speaking about changed into this blond and how vast her boobs the position.i needed to smack him he in no way compliments me. Any way what i began doing changed into speaking about different adult men.yet I truly ought to provide you a caution some adult men can get truly mad.i visit praise adult men on aspects of there body that they could't administration.Like brood shoulders.i do not no if it truly facilitates even though it makes me experience better effective. reliable success
2016-12-02 03:09:25
·
answer #9
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Just remember that the past is the past. And just tell him that you don't want to hear about his past flings tell him that it hurts you. And if he cares how you feel he won't bring them up again. Good luck!
2006-09-26 11:23:43
·
answer #10
·
answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5
·
0⤊
0⤋