Im 23 years i been married for 2 years and been with my husband for 8 years. when we got married I got pregnant right away. the baby is know 22 months and my husband wants me to have another baby. he wants me to get pregnant before this year ends. My husband is 29 years old and he want the baby before he is 30. Im agree with him but im scared is too soon. is it?
2006-09-26 10:36:46 · 18 answers · asked by cutececy22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Assuming you have the physical and emotional capacity to handle two children, 2 years apart is kind of the magic spread. Less than that and it's overwhelming to the parents (especially you as a mother). More than that and they tend to not be as close to each other as they grow up. At about two years the older child has become more independent and you're able to care for an infant.
In your case the children would be 2 1/2 which is still within a good range for the children to be good buddies (you'll find that they'll entertain each other and not be so demanding on you as they grow up).
2006-09-26 10:45:33 · answer #1 · answered by Turpin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you got pregnant right away, your first would be over 2 1/2 by the time the new one came along and would more likely be about 3 if it takes a few months to get pregnant. This is a pretty normal spread between kids and close enough for them to be playmates.
That said, if you're feeling scared and overwhelmed at the prospect of a second, your husband needs to respect that. You two need to talk it out, there may be some room for compromise. There's no compelling reason, after all, that a man must procreate before he's 30.
2006-09-26 17:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by mockingbird 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a question I think only you can answer.
If you get pregnant by the time your baby is two your children will be a little over 2 and a half years apart. There are pros and cons to having this spacing. The children will be close in age and can be playmates (this translates into more free time for you while they play together). You are already used to caring for a young child and it won't be as hard to re-adjust to a new baby again. The cons would be that you would have your hands extra full for the first couple years. You might also delay potty training with your first if they are not already full trained or they may regress. Double diaper duty is possible. You have to watch that the older one doesn't harm the younger one and that the older one gets enough attention.
My first two are 22 months apart and I will admit that the first year or two was hard. However, I am so glad that my kids are as close as they are because they love playing together and I can get things done without constantly having to entertain them. They also both just entered half day school (preschool and kindy) and I love having a couple hours of free time to take care of shopping, cleaning, and me time.
Are you soley responsible for the child rearing in your home or does your spouse help out a lot? I find that the more support and help you get at home the less daunting another child seems. If your spouse wants to have another child but isn't helping with baths, cleaning, changing diapers, etc I can see why you are scared because two kids to one person is hard. However, if he is supportive and doesn't mind helping out then take heart to know that he will be there to support and help you raise the children. Maybe this is something you two can discuss while making your decision.
Good luck!
2006-09-26 17:52:15 · answer #3 · answered by wendysorangeblossoms 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's too soon. If you do get pregnant before this year ends then your two children will have an age difference of 2 years and a couple months. That's the way it is between my older brother and I, and it's nice. But it's all up to you, if you feel you are not ready to have another baby yet, then tell your husband that. You're only 23- you have plenty of time left to have another baby.
2006-09-26 17:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In general it's not too soon. The main thing here is are you and he ready, not just him, not just you, but both of you. You're a married couple, part of being married is making choices together especially when it comes to children. Just explain to your husband your fears and hopefully you can agree to wait a while longer or have a baby right away.
I am only one yr, six months and one day younger than my brother and it didn't cause any problems. So, as long as your doc has given you thr go ahead and you are both ready for another baby then go for it. Some mothers get pregnant shortly after one baby is born, i can imgagine it is hard to keep track of a toddler and a baby, but they do it.
2006-09-26 17:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by ~Angel Eyed Pookie~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I could see this man I'd slap the piss out of him!!! If you don't want a second baby than don't have a second baby just because he wants one before he turns 30!! This is a decision the two of you should make and you BOTH should be comfortable with the decision, sounds like he is getting the best parts of you, what does he do for you?? How in heavens name did you get mixed up with a 21 year old at the age of 15???!!
2006-09-26 17:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by caninesuds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant with my second when my daughter was 18 months. I was afraid it would be too soon. My husband also wanted me to get pregnant sooner than later since we wanted 2 kids close in age so they could bond. I am also not getting any younger and needed to get going. I am due any day with my second and have no regrets and my daughter also seems excited about the baby. I only wish she was potty trained now since changing 2 sets of diapers all day long does not sound exciting.
2006-09-26 19:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by sooz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had two sets of children. The first now 27 and 28 were 18 months apart, the second now 12 and 13 are eleven months apart. I liked the fact that they each grew up with each other and were close. It seemed to be easier for me too as far as their interests and it was nice to have them both in the same school, like elementary together except for one year. It just seems it was convenient for me as well as nice for them to be close. There are benefits to having them several years apart too, it just depends on how YOU feel about it. That's the most important. Whatever your decision I know it will be the right one.
2006-09-26 17:57:09 · answer #8 · answered by ginger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the rule of thumb I heard I it is best to wait 18 months in between each baby so everything has time to get back to normal. Since you have you should be fine if you are worried about taking care of the child with the 22 month old being so young dont worry it is nice having them have alot in common instead of being 4 years apart
2006-09-26 17:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by Courtney G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its up to you guys you know wether you can handle it or not. I had my two 1yr and 16 days apart. We truly prepared ourselves for the worst financially and stress wise. However, it has been easier than I ever could have thought. Yeah there are days our hands are full but I woudnt have it any other way. They are so close emotionally that I know when they get older there is always someone there to look after them when I cant be there to remind them of the right and wrong decisions to be made. Also someone they are close to to go to the things about that they fell they cant come to mom and dad about.
2006-09-26 19:03:13 · answer #10 · answered by Aries Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋