Marrage gone bad?

Question

Me and my husband have been married for 8 years and have our first kid. First he was great and then he was never home and out hanging with freinds and girls ext. now he is acting better but I feel like I resent him for the way he treated me and he still isnt beeing fair he doesnt help with the baby and he only wants to talk about sex to me and have sex but it seems like he doesnt want to do anything else with me like he has went to the beach twice in the past 2 weeks and left me and the baby at home he sceduals it for my work days

Answer 1

Ok....check this out. If you really want this to get better you have to leave him. It dosent have to be permanent but long enough for him to get the clue. Quit playing the abandonded wife and feeling sorry for yourself...you know what is going on. Take control or be controlled. Take care of yourself and god luck.

Answer 2

Lyn, I am no marriage counselor, you and your husband need to sit down and have an all and all out conversation. I was married for 30 years and divorced ths year. I had twins, one who graduated college and one still in. I would try to get my husband to talk and realize we had a problem but he never would. It wasn't until I finally made my mind up to leave that he wanted to change. It was too late. After all the time I spent trying to convince him we needed to see a counselor, by the time we did see one I was tired. Don't let things escalate, stop them now. If you feel you need him to be more helpful tell him. He is the head of the home and should be the more responsible party. Most of the time men are not though. If you love him tell him and express to him what your needs are. If he loves you he will meet you halfway and work out whatever needs to be worked out. We are more emotional. Men don't deal with their emotions. As a matter of fact they don't even want you to think they have any. Make sure there is nothing about U that needs fine tuning. The only one who can change U is you. U should know what U expect, and what you deserve as a woman, a wife, a mother, a friend and a lover. Sorry I got long winded. Talk Talk Talk

Answer 3

Hey Lyn, Does your husband work? Sounds like he is jealous of the baby. Yea, it sounds childish but it does happen. Either this or he didn't want to really have a child. Thinking you were together for 8 years and nothing happened, but then it did come to light, and now you have a baby! Maybe he resents this. Some men don't like kids but others do. Have you put on a lot of weight? Maybe this is why he doesn't want to take you to the Beach, this to me is a cop out for sure. Love isn't of what but is, because. Sometimes babies put strain on any marriage. Have you tried to talk to a Counselor? This may open up the communication for the both of you. Good Luck

Answer 4

I've seen this before and I wasn't smart enough to do this. I have two women freinds who were in similar situations. They quit their jobs and stayed home with the baby. They didn't give the husband advance notice. He soon doesn't have enough money to do this and appreciates a home cooked meal. He gets to support you and pay for the damage that he has caused. They are now married 17 and 21 years.

Answer 5

i think of a few counseling is so as. If she blames the guy for a UTI she is in blunders. most of the time those are led to by potential of not cleansing up suited or misuse of contraceptives. (There are different issues that reason it yet those are greater uncommon) before everything if intercourse is painful to the spouse their are different approaches the two may well be delighted. 2d, the husband needs to talk up. intercourse is a vital component of marriage (not the main mandatory, yet mandatory all the same) The couple remains of their honeymoon point incredibly and can be going at it like rabbits (although after 3 years, it ought to nonetheless be calming down.) i'd recommend marriage counseling or intercourse counseling (confident it exists and confident it is powerful)

Answer 6

First I recommend that you start using the check spelling icon..Second I feel that you have some resentment stored up toward him. Because he's seems to be the only one out having fun while you're at home being mommy...I think you need some time out with the girls and let your hair down...Enjoy yourself...

Answer 7

As someone personally devoted to my family, it is a shame that he's acting this way. You need to call him out on the carpet for his behavior, plain and simple. Be prepared for the inevitable either way. Most likely, he will want to leave you, but you should be ready to leave yourself instead. DON'T get caught off-guard by this. Lay down the law that he needs to be a family man first and put his friends/social life second. If he violates this, leave him. Good luck to you!

Answer 8

Your man may be behaving better just so you don't leave him, but he isn't behaving like a loving husband and father should. You need to talk to him and make it clear what you need and expect out of this relationship and let him know that if he can't be that man then it is time for him to pack up and leave.

Answer 9

Stuff that, he needs a reality check and needs to step up as a man and a father! start going out on your own with the baby maybe and ask him if he would like to go too??? Are most of his friends single with no children??

Answer 10

It sounds like you guys need to communicate more. I know that you prob. don't talk with him and are not FIRM with him like you need to be. You are passive and he runs all over you. I would defiantly learn to stand your ground and let him know how you feel and that its NOT okay to do what he does. You can buy books on how NOT be passive and learn to be aggressive. There are certain situations where you would need this knowledge. Trust me I know I'm married as well. Me being more aggressive and standing up for myself helped. Hope it does the same for you.

good luck