she has a child, but doesnt intend upon "leaving" her... the young guy is so exciting, so refreshing, creative and open-minded. She loves him but is it wrong, should she stay and be bored?
2006-09-26 10:15:44 · 36 answers · asked by SiSi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the guy has 2 kids already a 5 y.o and a baby girl
2006-09-26 10:20:36 · update #1
Wow, lots going on here... If you can honestly answer some of these questions, you could be on your way to figuring out what to do...
First - how long has this been going on? If it's new and fresh, give it six months or so and see if you feel the same way. Next, try to examine why your marriage is currently "boring" to you, and see if you have any contribution to that state of affairs (sorry for the pun). Are you in love with the 23 year old plaything, or in love with the idea of being out of your marriage?
What is about your new relationship that is so exciting? If it's all or mostly sexual, watch out. The sex rush thing can only last so long. I am only guessing, but I am picking up on a lot of sexual vibes with the verbiage you are using - as in "exciting, refreshing, creative and open-minded." If I am wrong, I apologize.
My advice is to not put more energy or time into the relationship with the 23 year old until you can properly answer everything about your current relationship. The one that you are having with Mr. Exciting is not fair to him, nor is fair at all to your husband. If he is "boring," what was it about him that initially attracted you to him, and what is about him now that is so unattractive, or boring?
Finally, you need to work out the relationship that you have with yourself. You may find that you won't be a suitable partner to anyone until you have all of your own issues worked out. What led you to become unfaithful? If you could leave your husband today, no strings attached, would Mr. 23 have to worry about your faithfulness to him in a year or so?
I don't, no one has these answers, except you. If you can honestly answer all these, and take the time to do what you can about the relationship that you have, the legal one, that inconvenient marriage thing, then you can decide about whether you want another relationship or not. If you remove the excitement of getting away with something, the thrill of sneaking around, the naughtiness of having someone 10 years younger than you - would you still have the basis of a relationship?
Think, really think about what you are doing, and try to answer some of these questions. I might suggest counseling of some sort as well, either marriage or individual counseling. I am not judging you, these are just things that you really need to consider. I don't envy you at all.
Good luck, I hope that you are able to resolve this to everyone's best results.
2006-09-26 10:32:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
unless the husband is abusive in some way the answer is no way. without the kid, i'd say leave but when they decided to bring a kid into the situation that's it. tell this woman to grow up. of course the 23 year old guy is going to be exciting and open minded and creative and bla bla bla, he doesnt have a kid to raise. she's probably already had "relations" with the 23 yr old so leave it. besides do you really think a 23 yr old guy is going to settle down with a 33 yr old woman? are you mental? he wanted it she have it to him
2006-09-26 10:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by rationalm1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should stay and instead of being "bored", work on the
marriage. I have a feeling that if she left, this woman would regret it for the rest of her life. Boredom is not a good reason to leave your spouse. Boredom is a challenge for both partners to work on their marriage and make it work. Especially because you have a child with your husband. Yes, it is wrong. Don't mistake "exciting and refreshing" for a lasting love. Don't blow a worthwhile marriage for new sex.
2006-09-26 10:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you love your husband when you married him? Did you make a commitment to him? Are you a responsible adult that takes your vows seriously? If those answers are yes, then you should stay with your husband.
If those answers are no, then by all means, leave him now & let him get on with a life that might be made much more fulfilling with someone else who knows that love is not only a feeling but a choice that's made every day & it takes work but it's worth the effort.
2006-09-26 10:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by Shadow 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, now why is it that you went into this marriage in the first place? Did you love him? Was it because of the kid? If, it was because you loved your husband than don't you think that you owe, your husband and be up front with him. Marriage counseling or what ever it may be. Sure the young guy is exciting, refreshing etc....he doesn't have to worry about the financial aspects of family marriage etc....good luck to you.
2006-09-26 10:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Dimples 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a questions that I would definitely say you (1) should think about for a couple of weeks, (2) talk to a counselor (and there are free counselors available), and (3) does this 23 year old guy LOVE you, or just enjoys the sex (if the relationship has progressed that far). Think about it for a while!
2006-09-26 10:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Hammer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 23 year old will leave when he is bored. Being married means that you have taken responsibility of someone else. If you are only looking for an exciting life where you only care about yourself, you will grow too old for anyone to find you attractive with no money, friends and you will spend the older years with no company wishing you never left. If you are bored then this is your fault and you should entertain yourself rather then needing someone to enteratin you. If you can't make yourself happy no one else will.
2006-09-26 10:19:27 · answer #7 · answered by don 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is clearly a good idea to leave a husband and uproot his kid because the woman is bored. With any luck the 23 will use and abuse this dope and she ll end up getting exactly what she deserves which is nothing..
Shes bored come on what are we 10 years old here
2006-09-26 12:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by Chris F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No and no....I wouldnt leave your husband for a young boy...he has so much to experience, he wont stick around long, guaranteed. especially since you already have a child? no, he will get bored real quick. But that doesnt mean you have to stay in your marriage. If you are unhappy, leave because of that, not because you need an excuse to get out.
2006-09-26 10:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by spaceyinla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you destroy your family for this excitement and refreshment. At 33 you are supposed to be mature, yet your infatuated with a 23 year old.
Shoot, buy a toy that runs on batteries, its just like him, exciting and hard bodied.
2006-09-26 10:19:11 · answer #10 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋