I feel like he is shutting me out.
2006-09-26 10:07:34 · 14 answers · asked by Julia 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I can see why your name is Demon Man
2006-09-26 11:03:21 · update #1
Get professional help, and here's why. Most couples don't last after the loss of a child (and it may be because one spouse shuts down, like you described your husband doing). Have that professional there to guide you two through this tough time in your relationship, because even if you both love each other the same, tragedies can cause rifts.
2006-09-26 10:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by buble gum chewer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, i'm so sorry for your loss.
It's very normal. We all grieve differently, using different coping mechanisms and on our own time frame. When we lost our children, our marriage fell to pieces. I needed to talk, to cry, to grieve, and he was ready to move on long before i was. Although this is normal, a professional counselor can help facilitate the healing process and help you two get back together. My heart goes out to you.
2006-09-26 17:55:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a relationship counselor asap... you're both grieving in your own personal way... now is the time to lean on eachother for support but it's not always easy and a therapist can help you LEARN how to open up and depend on eachother to get through this difficult time as a team. no one just KNOWS how to mourn the loss of a child... let a professional help.
good luck and sorry to hear of your terrible loss.
2006-09-26 17:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Patti B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal. You both are feeling guilty and at the same time have feelings that blame each other. Very Normal! Find a way to comfort him first,, he then will find a way to comfort you.
I am sorry for your loss but don't loose each other over this, hang on with all your might!
2006-09-26 17:29:38 · answer #4 · answered by chunkydunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your loss, I hope you two can seek counseling and learn how to grieve together instead of in your own ways. My best friend and her husband lost their baby to SIDS when she was 3 months old. He felt like it was his fault, like he could have done something to prevent it, things of the sort. After months of going through what you are going through now, he agreed to go to counseling to sort out his emotions and feelings and he learned how to grieve with his wife instead of his own way. I wish you the best of luck, and my prayers are with you.
2006-09-26 17:20:10 · answer #5 · answered by proud mom of 2 girls 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for your loss, I am sure it is hard to deal with this situation, talk to him and express what you see happening, if this does not help then you will need professional help in terms of him getting evaluated for depression, maybe its not you, he just doesn't want to talk at all, good luck
2006-09-26 17:12:53 · answer #6 · answered by HK3738 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a cousin that went thru this exact thing with her hubby last summer. Her hubby shut down, didnt talk about it and he's just not himself. It's his way of dealing with it, but you need to get him to talk about it.It's goin to be difficult, but that's the only way to heal!
Since my cousins hubby doesnt talk about it, their marriage is goin down quick. I mean go to a marriage counselor if you can! If not at least get him to talk to you about it somehow!
i wish the best of luck to you both! I am sorry to hear about ur loss, my prayers r with you.
2006-09-26 17:13:36 · answer #7 · answered by woohooo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is normal but you have to try to start communicating to get back to where you were. Men and woman grieve differently, so he has no clue how you are feeling.
2006-09-26 19:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by JS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened also to my daughter. She kept asking me WHY did my baby die. (I'm sorry 4 ur loss). I told her it wasn't in Gods planning at the time. We do not know our future, God does. Weeks passed & her other son had a car wreck. The other soon had to be put in hospital b/c fire blew up in his face. Can't be in 2 places at one time.
1st off it wasn't either of your faults. Do not blame yourselfs. You together must Pray about this & talk-time will heal all. God Bless you.
2006-09-26 17:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
one of you has to own up and take resposibilty of who was watching it when it got lost and see if you can figure out where you left it and if you cant find it or its not there anymore get over it and move on after all if you lost it you could not have been to attached to it yet besides you can always make a new one
2006-09-26 18:00:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋