How do you discipline a 17 month old?

Question

My daughter was born deaf and had the Cochlear Implant after she turned 1. She has been hearing for about 4 months. So technically she is like a baby in the Hearing stage of her life. For the past couple of weeks she has been throwing tantrums and banging her head on the floor and throwing things. She hit her Speech therapist in the face yesterday. I was so embarrased!
I understand she is frustrated because she can't communicate as well as she wants. She is really smart. She can sign probably 30 signs. I can tell her No, but what is that going to do! She just gets more angry! What am I going to do?!!

Answer 1

Don't let her get away with hitting people. My son hit once and I slapped his hand. He has never hit again. Slapping the hand is a good wake up call. It's gets there attention and stings a little bit. You need to discipline her. Don't give her special attention just because she has had some problems. Treat her like any other kid her age. Don't put up with her acting that way.
Slap her hand or spank her butt. You need to put a stop to it now or it will just get worse as she gets older. I know a lot of people don't Believe in spanking, but that is the only way to get a child to understand what there doing is unacceptable.
I was spanked as a kid and I grew up just fine. There is nothing wrong with spanking.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Ok, first of all, the Cochlear implant does not make a child hearing. It may improve her hearing to a certain degree, but she is never going to be like a hearing child.

Second of all, you can't compare her to a 4 month old hearing baby, because she's not, she's 17 months old. She is at a much later stage of development in every other aspect except her speech development, so understandably, she is frustrated.

I babysat a 2 year-old who is hard-of-hearing, and he liked to bite. First he would bite me, then he'd bite his brother, and then he'd go after toys or other objects. It was because he was frustrated. He talked a lot, we just couldn't understand what he was saying, and he signed a lot, too, but still, he wanted to get his point across and couldn't, and he knew that we would react and give him our full attention (even more so than we were already giving him) when he was misbehaving.

Your daughter's actions are normal, they just aren't what you want. You have to be firm with her, but encouraging at the same time. You're right, signing/saying "No" doesn't do any good unless you also reinforce the good behaviors with "yes". Whatever you are doing, just stick with it. She's going through a period, and you just have to get through it.

Just to give you a little reassurance, this is a story the mom of the 2 year-old I babysat told me. One time they were at their friends house for dinner, and the 2 year-old bit their daughter (who is about the same age). The father of the girl got upset, and they had to leave. He thought that clearly their son's misbehavior was a result of bad parenting. A week later, the other family was visiting their friends and their daughter hit another child. Clearly this father had to reevalute his theory, otherwise he would now be saying that he is a bad parent.

Just take a deep breath. She'll be fine, you'll be fine.

Answer 4

Sounds to me like your daughter is an extremely smart girl. I have seen a lot of children go through this stage. This is where she is learning how far she can take her actions and see what she can get away with. If you give into her when she is throwing her tantrums she will continue to throw them. She is old enough to understand what you want to communicate with her when you tell her what she did is wrong, a time out period is also a good punishment with a talk about what happened afterward. I do not agree with spanking or hitting your child for hitting. I think it is hypocrisy....hitting a child for hitting does not teach them hitting is wrong when you are doing it to them. Although there are times in a later date when a tiny swat on the bottom might be necessary. A book that I had found helpful is Nanny 911...they have great advise on how to handle these types of issues, how to go about discipline and how to work for rewards as well....it has helped me out a few times! You can easily find it on Amazon.com, eBay, or a bookstore! Good Luck!

Answer 5

First of all, don't listen to the idiots who are telling you to spank her. Hitting a child will not help with making her less tempermental. I have a 17 month old son, and he sometimes does the same things. It is because he is a baby, and he gets mad because he can't tell me what he wants very well. The best thing I do, is (if we're at home) I let him scream and bang his head all he wants, roll around in the floor, whatever, but I just walk away from him. I let him see that he has no effect on me if he acts that way. If we are in a store, I take him into the restroom or outside until he calms down. If he hits, I tell him 'no smacking, hitting, etc' repeatedly, because even though he may not understand perfectly right now, he's learning it each time I say it. Just remember, you're the adult, you are in control. Be patient, be firm, but for goodness sakes, DON'T HIT YOUR CHILD!!!

Answer 6

Can the cochlear implant have something to do with it.
maybe the whole ordeal of getting it implanted was traumatizing for her and she associates the speech therapist with this experience, maybe the implant is like having tinnitus and it is driving her mad. maybe she is just upset that she can not communicate what she is thinking, I would be.
I would say being the mother of two toddlers that I am never worried about my feelings of embarrassment more than I am about my child. She had a machine surgically implanted in her head, maybe it's making her mad that you didn't accept her how she is, probably she will thank you for it later in life when she understands that it helps her to hear.
All toddlers define their boundaries by breaking rules, just be patient, teach her by example what patience is, keep teaching her sign so she can communicate with you.
use pictures of people expressing clear emotions,
"you are angry, I understand"
"you are frustrated, I understand"
and try to have fun a lot because that's what children do to learn and grow, they play. maybe she would love to see some horses, or focus on something other than the fact she is lacking in some way in your eyes.

maybe you will find the following links useful.
http://www.deafchildren.org
http://www.raisingdeafkids.org

Answer 7

Try this, it works on my god babies:

Tell her "no" or to "stop that", and give the reason why, example...that is hot and will burn you, that hurts mommy

Only tell her this once....

When she continues, take her to the "Naughty Spot" (just a place on the floor where she can not touch or see much at all) when u place her there, explain why she is sitting there, and tell her she will have to say sorry and give u a hug before she can get out.

Go back in two minutes (dont go to far incase she trys to get up)
and ask her if she is ready to say sorry, if she refuses leave for 2 more minutes.......continue until she says sorry, after she says sorry, explain why she was wrong and now give her a hug and kiss.

Sounds corny, but all I have to do is ask them if they want to sit in the "Naughty Spot" and they stop.

Answer 8

Boy, is she testing you! She has to know you do not approve of her behavior. Tell her no, she is being very, very bad...look her in the eye when you do it. Be firm, be stern. Slapping her therapist's face is unacceptable. I don't believe in face slapping children or adults for that matter, but if it happens again take her little hand and slap the back of it just hard enough to make it sting just a bit and tell her "See, that hurts! Don't ever do it again..." It will give her something to think about.

Answer 9

It sound like you have your hands full but please kon't spank her she is just learning to hear and it is all new to her. You my try and tell her that she is not being nice but I don't know if she would understand this but try and treat her just the way you would anyother 17month old because she is doing what all babies at this age do testing how far that they can get away with doing wrong with mommy or daddy.

Answer 10

tell her no, and if she continues put her in a crib or playpen for a time, out (less than 2 minutes at her age). You are right, she has alot of communication frustration to work out, but its a normal behavior for a 17 month old, regardless of her disability. But it sounds like you are working really hard with her, so kudos to you!! good luck!