that he does'nt want to get married for a long time. Even though you have been together for two years. I have two children and i want to settledown sometime before i turn thirty and when my boyfriend said this it made me feel like hes either afraid of commitment or hes just not in to the whole marriage thing. I mean yeah i think it could wait but i dont wanna wait for ever on a stubborn ***. I wanna have someone that wants to pop me the question instead of staying in the whole (boyfriend/girlfriend) land kinda thing. what do you guys think am i right or am i being to overeacting in a way?
2006-09-26 09:46:18 · 27 answers · asked by kim_banning84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I need to know someone a lot longer than two years before I'm marrying them. Two years is nothing.
2006-09-26 09:50:49 · answer #1 · answered by shoedogg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, i think that your guy is afraid of commitment or he just doesn't want to settle down with you. If the guy really liked you then he would have popped the question already. Unless he is at a point in his life where marriage would make his life to complicated, such as he is in college studying to be a doctor. I know that you want to get married before your thirty and u think he is your last resort but he is not. If he doesn't want to marry you now then he probably doesn't really want to marry you ever and he is just stalling and giving your relationship time. You should sit down with him and ask him if he is planning on marrying you and when. Don't say you need and exact day but a year would be nice. Tell him you want marriage and you want it before you're thirty. if he can't give you that then you're better off without him even if you don't think you are.
You should definantly listen to all the guys. They are right and they know what they are talking about. I advise you to go out and read the book "He is just not that into you". It's a really good book and it's written mostly by a guy so he knows what he is talking about.
2006-09-26 10:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by The All Knowing Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest mistake that women make is TELLING a guy to marry them. Ladies: you cannot tell/ask/question, etc a man to marry you! This is the number one relationship destroyer. To the guy, it makes if seem as if he is being controlled. You ladies should know what a man is all about upon your first couple of dates. Ask questions like "how do you feel about marriage?" or "do you want to have kids in your future?" If you are getting a no or a somewhat negative response to these answers, LEAVE! Don't sit and wait for a man to ask you to marry him! THAT IS JUST PLAIN STUPID! Oh and by the way, I am a woman that feels this way.
2006-09-26 09:55:34 · answer #3 · answered by CustomBentley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's not you at all.
If you have a good relationship now, why mess it up with marriage?
More and more thinking people are looking around themselves and realizing that for most folks marriage isn't a good idea. It is an institution whose time has long past. Most marriages in the US fail, to the delight of divorce attorneys.
2006-09-26 09:54:36 · answer #4 · answered by kurtrisser 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u might want to sit down with him and have a deeeep talk about where he thinks ur relationship is going cuz it doesn't sound like he's taking u seriously. I've heard....some men juist thinks it easy pu$$y when it comes to women with children. Sorry not trying to put u down, just saying that he maybe in for the sex but not the whole commitment, and i don balme u for wanting to get married.
2006-09-26 09:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by ladida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means a lot. First, it would make a whole big difference for the answers to this if you had said if he were the dad of your kids or not. If he's not ready and you are, then you are on different pages and are not compatible at this time. Hope you are not living together!
2006-09-26 09:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly this is what you should be telling your boyfriend. He needs to know how you are feeling so that he has the chance to explain himself. You guys sound like you may just need a little more communication. He might have some valid reasons. Really if you love him, give him the chance to explain. Good luck!
2006-09-26 10:03:48 · answer #7 · answered by me me me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him time and space but dont wait to long if he doesnt want to get married and you do it will become a sore spot for you and you will become unhappy . Dont wait to long if it is something you really want because more times then not he is not going to change his mind and you cant make him change it either. You have to do what makes you happy and what is best for your children as well. Good luck I hope it works out for you
2006-09-26 09:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by Tears30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and wait until your kids have left the house or 18 before you start dating again. Bringing in different men into their lives will only harm their impression of how women are treated and lack respect for relationships.
Hard? yes, but it would be the right selfless, mature thing to do for your children.
Good luck
2006-09-26 09:52:53 · answer #9 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope, a guy usually knows in a month or two if he's into a chick enough to settle down. If he's still unsure after a year you need to move on.
2006-09-26 09:51:00 · answer #10 · answered by Chad W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋