I HAVE ALWAYS FELT THIS WAY SINCE I CAN REMEMBER. I AM 42 NOW AND MY FEELINGS OF WANTING TO BECOME FEMALE ARE STRONGER THAN EVER. IT IS SO HARD TO HIDE IT ANYMORE. I DO SEE COUNSELING FOR GENDER IDENTITY AND SHE SAYS THAT I REALLY SHOULD BECOME A FEMALE. I AM SCARED. I WANT TO SO BAD BUT IT IS A VERY DIFFICULT CHOICE TO MAKE. I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN BUT THE PEOPLE THAT DO KNOW ABOUT ME ACCEPT ME AND UNDERSTAND. I AM MARRIED AND MY WIFE IS ALL FOR ME AND HAS BEEN THERE FOR ME. I HAVE ALL MY OWN CLOTHES AND WEAR THEM ALL THE TIME BUT I DONT MAKE IT SO OBVIOUS. SHOULD I CONSIDER A SEX CHANGE AND DO YOU THINK IT WOULD FULFILL MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER OR CAN I LIVE MY LIFE JUST CROSSDRESSING AND WOULD THAT BE ENOUGH? I AM ATTRACHED TO WOMEN BUT ONLY BECAUSE I WANT A BODY LIKE THIERS. I AM ATTRACHED TO GUYS ALSO BUT ONLY WANT TO BE WITH ONE IF I WAS A COMPLETE FEMALE. WHAT DO I DO?
2006-09-26 09:29:14 · 9 answers · asked by tessamoore63 1 in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
Go with your heart. I myself don't understand the whole gender identity thing, but I have never had to deal with it and I certainly don't judge you for it. If you truly feel that you want to be a female, then do it. It will not be easy but with the love and support you do have, you should be able to handle it. It is great that you are seeking counseling. I wouldn't recommend it if you weren't. It seems like you have had plenty of time to think about this, but if you need more time, then just do the cross dressing thing for awhile and see how it goes. It sounds like that won't be enough though. You may have to move to a bigger city if you think it will be a problem. In time, people may be able to accept you and those that don't, who cares.
If you do become a woman, I think you should be honest with your partners and tell them about your past. That way it won't come back to haunt you.
2006-09-26 09:47:27 · answer #1 · answered by it's just me! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sure is a tough situation. I think you are definately doing the right thing by getting counseling and questioning yourself a little bit. And I don't mean the feelings, I mean the operation.
Let me tell you, I know 4 people who believe they were born as the incorrect gender. Two of them have had the complete sex change operation, and two have not. The ones that have not done it made their decision based on their inner feelings. They live very happy lives as cross dressers, though they find it very challenging to find long term relationships. Now, of the two that did the operation, one of which is married to a woman, has two children, and leads a fairly happy life as a woman now. However, the other has been in therapy for severe depression since the operation (2 years now). She has attempted suicide once, and may be in therapy and on medication for the rest of her life. She tells me she feels as if part of her was taken, and she can never get it back.
I guess the moral of the story is, if you have ANY doubts about it at all, DON'T DO IT! If you even think it's not right, then it's definately worth talking to some more people. Personally, I think you should seek out some people who have had the operation and talk to them about it.
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 09:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by seanphamilton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Gosh I wish I could give you a hug. This is such a big decision for you and for your family. But it sounds like you have been getting solid professional support and counseling which is far more important than anything people like me can share. But for what it is worth, I don't see how you can go on living only half a life. If you truly feel that you are female, and if you can not have full adult relationships with people now because you are living in limbo, then it seems that becoming who you were meant to be is your only solution. Who would you be helping if you stayed as you are? Maybe that's one way of asking it. Would you really be helping your family, your friends, or yourself? It doesn't sound like it. You are on a very intimate and personal journey. You are on a quest for the validity of your life. I know it is a lonely path to follow sometimes, but you have a great deal of love and support along the way. If your spouse is there for you, you are truly blessed. So do not be afraid or anxious. You have the truth within you. I know you will make a wise choice and find the peace and joy you deserve.
2006-09-26 09:48:50 · answer #3 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, that's a tough one. Not a question I thought I would see under beauty and style. Maybe someone will give you an answer that has been in your shoes. I would be scared, too. To go through all the treatments and surgery that you have to go through to get to where you want to be. And then, maybe not be happy with the results or who you become. Good luck.
2006-09-26 09:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by NORTH WEST 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mom and dad always told me to go with my heart. but they also told me if i was scared of something, dont do it. cross dressing is good for you.it lets you have that feel of being a woman, but without the pain of surgery.and just think, if u do do the surgery. u cant take it back.(i dont think) and if you could take it back, what would that be doing to your body?? u said that ur wife supports you, but will she still feel the same way when the man she married becomes a woman?? of course she will back u up now, but when eveything changes and is different,she might not feel the same way. to me, if she wanted a woman,she would have married one, but she married YOU. A MAN. if youdecide to go with the surgery,good luck, and i hope it completes you. but in my opnion, i would have to say a no.
2006-09-26 10:03:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are even thinking about it this hard then there has to be that voice in the back of your mind saying that you want to live your life completly as a women. If you want to be a women then I say go for it, whatever will make you the happiest. and your wife is all for it, It's fun to be a women you should do it!!! Good Luck!
2006-09-26 09:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious question, and you really are seeing a therapist, your answer lies there. My personal beliefs aside, do you really want to go through the pain of the surgeries? I've had surgery for other things (cancer, gallbladder), and I'm here to tell you that they HURT! Also, think about what this will do to your family. Do you have children? Think of them. Also, what will your wife do if you do it? You have committed yourself to her FOREVER! Think about the implications of that committment!
My answer: no, don't do it. Continue your therapy, and if you're not getting productive therapy through your current one, seek a different therapist. You shouldn't be this confused and desperate for answers AFTER having been with a therapist.
2006-09-26 09:36:34 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
id say go for it i dont no much on the subject but i no a person who was male and then got a sex change at 60 and he seems happier now if its what you really want go ahead..
2006-09-26 09:54:58 · answer #8 · answered by *~'~'Claire~'~'* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go 4 a sex change den !!! i think u wl b chaeting on ur wife den !! if ur wife is supporting...cool enuff !! discuss it wd her.
think ds ways..it wd b so mch relief aftr d surgery.u wl b truly URSELF !!!
n dnt think abt ppl !! its ur life n live it completely !!
2006-09-26 09:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by vips 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋