Ok this is my 3rd and last posting...
My wife and I have been having problems off and on for the last couple of years... Alot of it has been mine and my inability to grow up and our failure to communicate. I moved out about 6 weeks ago... We started to date others and we were at a mediation/counseling session yesterday. One hour turned into 3 and it was amazing... We told each other things that neither of us ever heard.
We continued this for another hour after the session and finally decided that we are going to end up stop dating the other people and date each other. Not moving back in and not forcing anything... Baby steps only for now... We are going to see how it goes and be open... no seperate lives and get to know each other. Just want to know your thoughts if this will work.
2006-09-26 08:54:43 · 21 answers · asked by Chris T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you are on the right track. Baby steps. I think you both need to communicate with each other. I am sure she is scared but excited at the same time. I am sure she is curious about the path that you both will be on. Maybe you are learning from each other's mistakes and this time will be a different and hopefully stronger marriage.
2006-09-26 15:52:10 · answer #1 · answered by Sherri G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to any good relationship is communication. It sounds like that was severely lacking before this counseling session. You are doing the exact right thing - small steps and talking.
Keep being honest about your feelings and what you want out of this relationship. If you don't say it now, you can't bring it up two, three years down the road. You must be completely honest now and willing to compromise.
If you keep going down that road, there's no reason that this can't work. You married each other for some reason. People change, but that doesn't mean that they can't stay together if they still have common interests and feelings for each other.
Good luck!
2006-09-26 15:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by Robby216 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you guys. Sounds like taking a time out from marriage, and starting with dating again is a good idea. Counselors often recommend that married people have a date night, anyway, every week. You two married each other for a reason, and that reason probably still exists. Continue to be open and honest, and learn to discuss things that concern you without being accusatory. If you were in a session that long, it was obviously guided, and your concerned were introduced with such words as " I feel that...." or "I get the idea that....." rather than "You are a jerk because...." Congrats. Best of luck to both of you......
Weight your words carefully before you express a concern. A good book to read is "The Assertive Option" --- the classic in getting people to understand your position without offending them. Buy it cheap at Amazon.com. Yours by Thursday at your house.
2006-09-26 16:05:38 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if it'll work in your case. Depending on what the strengths/weaknesses of your marriage were to begin with. All I can say, it's probably too early to tell after only one counseling session. Take your time and see how things go. The agreement to not date other people is a good thing.
2006-09-26 16:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you both. Communication is soo important in a marriage and that is something that most people don;t know about. Couples mostly focus on financial status, career and kids and they tend to neglect communocation, and that is what holds things together.
make it work! Apply everything that you have learn in counseling and break the cycle of bad communication.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck
2006-09-26 16:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reacquanting each other with the person you each married is fullfilling the second time around. You both realize the baggage..
I've been down that same road. It wasn't and isn't easy, but we've both grown because of it.
we were separated and divorced for 2 years. Counseling is one hell of a lot cheaper then divorce.
2006-09-26 16:02:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is awesome, sound like thier is still love between you two. hope it works out and you guys find a better way to communicate in the future, keep going to counseling. Good Luck i hope it works
2006-09-26 16:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by James 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will fall back in love again, and again fall back into the same pattern.I've done this 3 times with my ex wife.What you need is some time away from each other to work on yourselves.If your not happy with yourself,how can you be happy with someone else.Dating after 2months? Don't put your date through that misery.Stay away from dating and work on yourself.
2006-09-26 16:04:36 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck and i hope that you both will be faithful to each other and not sneak around and see the exs (the ones you both are breaking up with). Take it slow and hopefully everything will work out!
2006-09-26 16:11:53 · answer #9 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling works, right?? Just keep going, it really helps. Communication is #1 in a relasionship. Tey your best of there are kids involved. You don't want them to deal with divorce. Belive me you two are not the only onces gettin put through it. Kids are put through it too. You want to try your best to avoid that,...
2006-09-26 15:59:10 · answer #10 · answered by yo_010180 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋