i tyr talking to him and he just tells me to leave him alone as he wants to be quite, so i do, and when i am quite he askes me whats wrong
2006-09-26 08:41:49 · 33 answers · asked by ssldavey2003 2 in Health ➔ Men's Health
He has a problem and talking it through with someone is a great start, pity he is refusing to do it with the best person who cares...
2006-09-26 08:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You didn't give many details to go on, but...
First, men really do care less about sex (at least as frequently) as they get older. Men's sex drive peaks at about 21, women's at about 35. Makes long-term relationships interesting and challenging :)
Second, he may perhaps have a medical problem that he's reluctant to discuss, or he doesn't like doctors. ED (erectile dysfunction) is fairly common, that's why viagra and other such things sell so well. Try and get him to see a doctor if he won't talk to you about what's wrong.
And finally...please don't take this wrong...have you let yourself go since you got married? Put on a bunch of pounds, don't make yourself look good for him any more? That could also have something to do with it...
Good luck.
2006-09-26 08:55:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old he is or how long you have been together?
Maybe he is stressed about something - does he do a stressful job. You need to open your mind and think of reasons as to why this is happening. In my experience, you are best to leave him alone to have his own thoughts and when he is ready, he will come to you. In the meantime, I know it will be driving you insane but hang on in there and you will reap the rewards in the end. Just be as understanding as you can and do not be pushy with him. Find things that you can do, keep yourself busy so you can focus on other things.
Good luck
2006-09-26 09:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the whole 'he's hiding something' thing. It's possible, but it could be a million other things also. He could be stressed from work, he could be depressed, he could be tired, he could be preoccupied etc. It's also normal that his drive to have sex with you will decrease during the marriage.
If you freak out and harrass him about it you're only going to put him off more. We have this weird perception that guys are walking erections, guys, especially ones in long-term relationships, do the whole 'ceiling feeling' just like women do, and do the putting out for the other persons benefit all the time also. Give him some time, relax, see if it resolves itself. If you have a loving marriage it's not necessary to be jumping each other twice daily, if you do fine, but if you don't do not assume there's something wrong, that's just something TV has taught us.
2006-09-26 08:49:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should tell him not to ask you whats wrong if he really doesnt want to know. I would Tell him you are considering either a marriage counselor or the doctor to see what the problem is. Then I would Tell him you are tired of living like a single woman, but with all the mess.
2006-09-26 08:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by lisapj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya
He may be hiding something but not anything to do with other women. I don't want to worry you but maybe just maybe he may have found a lump. My husband stop having sex with me as he was afraid of e feeling down below and finding it. When i was going out off my head with worry thinking that he had gone off me that's when he finally told me what was wrong. We both went to doctors and found out it was just a cicst, NOW WE R BACK IN SWING. Just a suggestion ask him
2006-09-26 08:52:41 · answer #6 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How often do you have sex? If it was a lot anf he is tired fair enough, but if once a week and he refused then maybe he got something on his mind? Has he got fired? been to the doctor? met another woman? Had bad news about other member of family? Suffering from depression? Don't jump tp conclusion just be kind and observe.
2006-09-26 08:47:50 · answer #7 · answered by cheyenne 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I do hope he's just going through a "phase" of sorts, which does happen. It has happened to me, and to my wife... Luckily, we got over that!
Essentially, humans are affected by various cycles. We all go through various "periods" or "phases" thoughout our adulthood. It is only normal that we will sometimes get "bored" with the idea of sex with our regular partner/spouse. Males, when reaching a certain age, will beging to wonder what their sexuality would be (or would have been like) if they ended up with someone else. In Quebecois we call mid-life crisis "Le Demon Du Midi" (The Noon-time Demon) when a male begins to ignore his partner in search of younger women to "conquer".
There are many things which may explain your hubby's dis-interest in sex. Stress, fatigue, depression are all valid reasons to not only affect the physical side of sex (as in erectile disfunction) but also the mental side of it, making the whole idea of sex non-interesting. Sometimes, feelings that sex is a chore, a "job" to do , are not uncommon and can greatly affect a person's desire to be sexually active.
I would suggest you try to spice things up in the bedroom (as described in other ANSWERS in this thread). It could be he is but "tired" or "bored" with the idea of your basic/standard sex. But if your mate seems completely turned off to the idea of sex in general, then maybe you should try consulting a couples' therapist who may be able to help you through this difficult period.
Good luck!
2006-09-26 08:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but something doesn`t sound right here!! he`s not neccesarly sleeping with someone else(although he is acting suspicious)he may be depressed,stressed at work or have an impotence problem he is embarresed about.try and get him to talk to you or see a doctor. give him lots of cuddles and be reassuring but tell him he MUST let you know what is wrong before you can try and help and understand. good luck.xx
2006-09-26 08:47:40 · answer #9 · answered by nicola 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you have some good answers here, but you might want to get your Husband to a Doctor. Maybe he is not well. Could be high blood pressure, or depression.
2006-09-26 08:46:08 · answer #10 · answered by janice 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋