i really hate my husband. its been a year of marriage n he has given me lots of tears,i hate him.he is a very confused guy, always wanting to please everyone , and in that process hurts my feelings. he has never made me feel that he cares or loves me. his parents r also very wierd, i dont stay with them but when his parents r arround he cars for them, takes so much care, does all their work and will always be thinking whats runnung in their mind but when it comes to me he expects me to adjust to everything. he is so insensitive with me. i have left my parents who loved me so much to be with him and he gives everybody else higher priority that me.he has also told me once that when its between me n his parents he would always go with his parents . i feels so hurt by that for him i am always second but when it comes to his works or his parents work , i only should do. i am sick of it. he is a selfish brute. even if i tell him all this its no use coz his level of understanding is very bad
2006-09-26 08:22:14 · 29 answers · asked by hello f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well your marriage is definitely in need of an adjustment. Your husband isn't going to budge because he's comfortable with the way everything is. You should get him to talk with you about how you're feeling and work towards removing some of your frustrations.
If he was this way before you married, you're in for a struggle to get him to change his ways...
2006-09-26 08:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding? In one breath you say you hate your Husband in the next you're asking if your marriage is safe. I hate to break it to you, but you don't have much of a marriage if you're saying you hate your spouse. You say that he has never made you feel that he cares about you. Then why did you get married. I think you should re-evaluate what is important to you. At some point you must have loved this man. Find that love again and work on your problems. His parents will always be his parents and if he feels he needs to help them out then you either have to deal with it or unfortunately leave the situation.
2006-09-26 15:32:56 · answer #2 · answered by LJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is selfish, but how about you? there is nothing wrong in taking care of his parent, ask how old are they and how health they are?
Now don't let his good behavior hurt you. I am sure when you like him in the beginning, he is a caring person. But since you are with him, you want all the care toward YOU.
Woman alway ask, "If me and your mother both fell into the water, who will you save?" That should never be a ask, it is like "What do you prefer-Going out with me (you husband) staying in home or going to Hawaii, Paris, Japan, and etc with your friend?" All expense pay.
You marry him for a reason, but of course time has change, but if you can talk with him and make once or twice a week where he drop everything for you and the rest of the week will be all his for his friend or parent. That should help the marriage.
2006-09-26 15:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You seem like a needy, insecure, inmature person.
He cares about his parents because they are HIS parents and they have always been there for him. Expecting him not to love his parents is beyond reason. Deal with the fact that he loves his parents, that is a battle that you will NOT win. Period.
Secondly. The man has to work to pay for YOUR bills. So let the man work to provide for you. Bills are not paid by sugar and spice honey.
What you need is an occupation. It seems to me that you don't work and have a lot of time on your hands to obsess about what he is doing "wrong" instead of what he is doing right. Finf a hobbie or a job to help you cope with obsessive thoughts and behaviotr and to keep you occupied and thinking about what he "should be doing" accordingly to you.
You are hurt because you have so many expectations. It's you that is putting the strain on the marriage by being unreasonable. You have to learn to adapt to yournew surroundings and make the best out of it if you want your marriage to work. If you are unable to adapt and you are home sick, then go back home and get a divorce.
Marriage is hard work and you have to learn to compromise, that's is what being married is all about. It's not about the honeymoon, is about a life together in hapiness and you are bringing the bitter into your life.
You are in need of counseling. Just you. Meds can help too.
Good luck
2006-09-26 15:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
if you hate him then no your marriage is not safe. If you are really unhappy there are two things you can do 1. go into marital counseling or 2. divorce. The only way for him to ever know how you feel is to talk to him. He may think he's doing a great job as a husband so you need to set him straight. best of luck
2006-09-26 15:26:50 · answer #5 · answered by tabkat73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go home, don't tell him you are leaving, just go visit your parents for a while and tell him that he is second priority to you and since you do not rate with him, you decided to give him some time to think about it. Don't call him, make him call you, don't get weak and give in, make him really think about who is #1 in his life. If he still puts you as #2 or worse, then you need to let him know that you deserve to be #1 and since he will not do it, you are going to find the one that will...
2006-09-26 15:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this just anger or do you really hate him? If you do hate him, you do need to leave, however keep in mind that the first few years of a marriage are always the hardest.
2006-09-26 15:55:02 · answer #7 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone is still sucking from his mothers teet. I dont believe you when you say you hate your husband or he has never made you feel like he cares for you, you wouldnt have married him if he didnt care for you...right? All I can say to you is you need to sit him down and explain how you feel. or leave its that simple hun. Also A therapist could be of some assistance. My husband and I have one. Weve been going since we got married just to help us before we get bad problems. Try it out. luck to you.
2006-09-26 15:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by leaves_of_autumn171311 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont' get it-- was this an arranged marriage, or did you willfully agree to marry this man? If you hate the man you're married to, then you need to seek some marriage counselling, or a divorce lawyer ang go live with your parents.
2006-09-26 15:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, if he has to choose between you and his parents, "he would always go with his parents." Girl, he's made his choice. You just need to open your eyes and see it. Now make him live with that choice and get the hell outta there.
Just one thing more for you and all the other ladies here: YOU SHOULD NEVER SETTLE FOR SECOND PLACE IN YOUR MANS LIFE!
2006-09-26 15:35:25 · answer #10 · answered by michaelks63 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋