2006-09-26 08:10:06 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely. Sometimes life becomes busy, we don't stop to smell the roses. Days turn to months, then months turn to years. If you don't take the time to spend with your significant other, the candle will go out. You still love him and care about him, but that strong desire and need for him is no longer there. Sometimes you can recapture it, but sometimes your heart just knows it isn't going to happen. People change...sometimes we take separate paths that never intercept again. Sad, but true.
2006-09-26 08:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by seeya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 'in love' with my husband for many years and through time, more recently the 'in love' feelings somehow faded away. When you start to feel that you just 'love' your husband and are not 'in love' with them so much it changes the relationship and often it is not enough to sustain it . I personally would not choose a relationship where there's just a 'love' feeling that's more likely to be maintained through sentiment or fear of breaking up and being alone. I do not believe you can have the same quality and value in a marriage when even one partner doesn't feel 'in love' with their spouse the same. Though its possible to find strong loving feelings again with your partner its often hard to fall back into those 'in love' feelings you once had.
Usually when something like this happens it is an indication that the marriage has ran its course, however, many people do stay in a marriage even if they just 'love' their partner for several reasons like finances, children etc.
Much depends on how you value yourself and if your wanting to compromise finding a more loving relationship with someone in the future if you stay. Not many people would want to stay in a loveless relationship. Only you can decide but whatever your reasons to stay in the marriage or go, make sure you do it for the right reasons for yourself. Let your heart be your guide.
2006-09-26 15:56:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. It's just a matter of romantic love. Romance is like your appearance. It can be plain.....and lifeless if you don't put any effort or attention into it. Or it can be attractive, sexy, exciting, etc......
Think New Years Eve. Many people go all out, get the best dress, the perfect shoes, all the accessories, get all done up.....go all out to look great. And they feel like a million bucks. After all alot of care and concern and effort have gone in to making it just perfect.
Well...put that same energy into romancing your husband. Put the effort into it. It adds the excitement, and his reaction will fuel your reaction, and so on. Ofcourse it takes two......so hopefully you two are on the same page, and can benefit from the effort and time to reconnect, and rediscover what was once (hopefully) there.
2006-09-26 08:16:20 · answer #3 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently went to a therapist. I told her that I loved my husband when I married him, but I never had the "head over heels" feelings for him that I thought i needed.
She's a phD, she said that those initial feelings are just an attraction factor and they don't last. it's the other things about the person, that hold the relationship together.
so I would say No. YOu love him and that's it. You love him. So choose to love him. Be loving toward him. You'll see the difference.
take care.
2006-09-26 08:14:22 · answer #4 · answered by wayouthere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure~ the flame has just died down a little...try to spice up the romance department....OR just tell him things aren't going so well....maybe try dating again!! See if that returns those feelings of love~
Trust me...all marriages go through this several times in the course of the relationship...there are days I LOVE my husband...but I'm NOT "in love" with him...and then a few days/weeks go by and I get this overwhelming sense of ...Gee! I love him soooo much...and falling in love with him...feels really good!!
2006-09-26 08:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it seems humans get caught up in being in love, then when the newness wears off thinks that they are no longer in love...terrible misconception.....There are so many moments in the marriage and throughout the relationship that are disregarded
that were absolutely romantic and very much the notions of being in love in. Love is what sustains the marriage...not always feeling warm and fuzzy, and expecting fireworks to go off to determine if your love is real. Love is of God the Father who has given unto us! We should not worry about being in love...that is highly over-rated esp. when you are comparing it to something that is not real like what you see in movies...that never have time to show their whole lives but rather just a small segment. Love your spouse, and be lovable!
2006-09-26 08:49:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving and caring are not the same thing.....
Please remember that those feelings you had when you met him will not be the same forever!! The relationship moves to a different level... Love changes "look" if you want to put it that way!!
Is so hard to explain what love is about... But if you don't feel like you love him as your partner then you need marriage counselling!
2006-09-26 08:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by Marmot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure. I think the key thing here is the can I live without him thing. The kind of passion that comes with being "IN LOVE" doesn't die easily. I know this from my Mom and I always envied her that (she and my dad were that way).
She did divulge one day to me though that the more in love you are the greater they can hurt you.
So for me, I know I don't have that kind of love because I could take it or leave it. He is my companion and I love him and I am safe with that.
I think the real decisions in life involve either playing it safe and knowing what you have or living the edge and not being sure.
What strikes me the most though is the prevailing fact that we all age and may become ill...if you do not settle down, who will be there.
Kind of funny huh...the saying settle down. So in a sense you are settling for love, not being in love.
2006-09-26 08:57:06 · answer #8 · answered by Shebaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible... after years of being with someone the spark just leaves you can still love them dearly like you would any other family member, you're just not in love with them anymore.
Talk to you husband, try and spice things up again, possibly think of counselling.
2006-09-26 08:43:25 · answer #9 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.. You can love him, and care about his well being, and not wish any harm to him.. Sort of the way you love your friends, or co-workers, neighbors..etc. But that doesn't mean that they are the ones that you would want to spend the rest of your life with.. So that would not be in love.. Not being in love I thinks you can live without them, but still want the best for them.
2006-09-26 08:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by Justice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋