What's you husband/boyfriend/baby's father there for...?

Question

What's you husband/boyfriend/baby's father there for you child's birth? (or will he be there?)

Do you think it has an adverse effect if the father is not there?

I feel like a retard. I meant to put "Was your..." not "What's your..." I'm sorry.

I'm not pregnant. I am just asking.

I was just asking about the adverse effects because my husband was deployed when my son was born--and through most of my pregnancy. He feels like a horrible father for not being there. His own father wasn't there for his birth and he has always resented him for that. I wanted to prove that no one else thinks it's a negative issue or that it will have long-term effects. Thank you all!

Answer 1

My husband was with me. He has always been a source of strength for me and I needed him there for the entire time (I did let him go to the bathroom once in a while - lol).
My sister, however could not have her husband there until the very end. He is a nervous wreck and is not a calming influence at all. She chose to have our mother with her to help her through.
It really depends on the people and their relationships. I needed my husband there but there was no way I could deal with my mother being there.
No, I don't think there is any adverse effect if he is not there. When I was born my father wasn't allowed in the delivery room (he was at home, washing the kitchen floor, over and over and over...) but we had a close relationship. The adverse effect would be from having someone there that would cause stress for the laboring mother.

Answer 2

I definitely think the father should be there, but I don't think it specifically has an adverse effect if he's not for some reason. My dad wasn't there for his first four because they just didn't let fathers into the delivery room in those days. His fifth, my little sister born just two years after me, was the only birth he was able to attend. I know it was a hugely special thing for him, but it's not as though he was less bonded with me growing up than he was with her.

I'm kind of lucky in that I don't think I have to worry about my boyfriend and the "ick factor" that some men experience simply because he's witnessed a birth before. His twin brother's wife had a baby four years ago and was crazy enough to let both her brothers-in-law into the delivery room. So, he's got the "been there, done that" thing going for him! I fully expect that if (when) we have kids he will be there for me. (Oh, and I've told him if he thinks I'm letting his brothers in there, he's sorely mistaken!!)

Answer 3

he was there. He was involved every step of the way. I was told that during my long difficult labor, he had to leave the room several times to cry because seeing me in pain, and not being able to do anything about it, had been very difficult for him.

He was the first to hold the baby after her surgical birth, and I think it strengthened the already strong bond between the two of them.

But lots of times fathers can't be there. They didn't used to be ALLOWED there, and sometimes circumstances keep them from being there. In those cases, it may be harder on the birthing mother if she's used to his presence and support, but it certainly won't have an adverse affect on the baby.

Answer 4

My husband was there for all 3 kids and was my support. My husband will tell every father to be in the room if able. You're partners in parenting-why miss the start of there child's life? It changes you...it's a beautiful and difficult and something special to share.

Answer 5

My husband wasnt there when our youngest was born. I went in for what was supposed to be a routine appt and they had to take the baby (c-section) and rushed me in. I called him from triage but he was home with the older 3. He didnt seem to think it was a huge deal at the time, and by the time a sitter got to our house and he got to the hospital she was out & being cleaned up. Now he regrets that he wasnt there to see it all.
He has more than made up for it by being a great dad to all 4 girls and I highly doubt that the baby is aware that he wasnt there :)

Answer 6

my husband was there for every birth of our children. I wouldn't have it any other way. For both of us it was one of the most memorable moments that we have shared together. He has so much respect for me for going through the whole labor/birth process, we worked as a team, he knew it hurt me and he was there to hold my hand! Its a bond IMO when its just you and your SO and your ob there in the room, when you have others its not really a bond because they can become a distraction, but when its just him you only look for support to him. Its the best feeling to have your man by your side supporting you, comforting you ,don't get me wrong its nice to have mom there but theres nothing like have your man by your side through the whole thing.

Answer 7

My husband was there for both of our children's birth and he said he wouldn't have missed it for nothing. I personally think that the father of the child should be there if he can. I think that it should make him feel that he is more apart and involve in your life and the baby's if he was there. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

I am pregnant with our third child, and my husband has been there for every doctors appointment, not to mention the births. I don't think I could have done it with out his support.

Answer 9

I had an emergency c-section and my husband was there for the birth of our baby. He got to watch the whole surgery. He watched them pull her from my belly and it was the most amazing thing he has ever seen.

Answer 10

My husband was right there doing whatever I told him to during the birth.. If I told him to shut up, he shut up.. If I told him to rub me, he did. It is a wonderful experience. I would totally recommend the father of the baby to be there.