After having had no friends for 26 years. I went to school and all, i've had jobs.. but i really do not have the skill to make any friends. I used to go to dance class for 1 month , that didn't result in any friends, but at the time i started feeling like i was part of something, then i got my knees messe d up and i quit..But now after 6 months of that injury, i want to get back to doing something..But makinfriends..is just something i do'nt have skill in...I can make my sisters 5 year old my friend, because i'm kind of dumb and immature but i can teach him things and he likes me, that feels great. I'm a simple person, i teach him lots of things, i talk to him, i share things with him, I feel he is my friend.. But with strangers, people my age, they are so different , they are mature and have great speaking skills...i feel always that i dn't fit in with them. that they will think i'm stupid.
2006-09-26 08:00:59 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
This is a start -- by asking questions on yahoo.answers. You should get some good advice here. The thing I can tell you is that you should be friends with people who like to do the things you like to do -- maybe not all the same things, but some.
Also, start out first by being acquaintances with people, not friends. Friendships seem to grow from these over time. Some are just casual friendships; other might very well develop into close friendships.
Other suggestions where you can meet people:
1. Church/synagogue
2. Volunteering
3. At work -- but remember not everybody wants to be friends outside of work but still, it is nice to have some workplace friends, just to talk to every once and a while.
4. Another class like your dance class -- even if it is a temporary situation, it's a good place to practice your friendship making skills.
5. Some recreational activity that you can do with a group.
You write very well, so I certainly don't think you are stupid. So give yourself some credit for your communication skills.
In my life, when my friendship web goes belly up, I rely on my family more -- to see me through the rough spots. Doing that might help you feel better too. Also, friends or acquaintances you already might have could introduce you to other people too. I can remember once, when I was about your age, I seemed to acquire a lot of new friends who somehow were associated with my best friend at the time -- or they were sort of one or two people away from my best friend -- not really friends with him but somehow associated with people he knew some way.
Also, you might be lucky to come across someone who is looking for a new friends right at this moment. That is what happened to me once when I was in school: one guy just moved and his close friend didn't have a buddy to do things with so we just started to hang around together and hit it off pretty well. It wasn't a frienship that really lasted, I have to admit that, but it was a lifesaver for me at the time.
I hope this helps you. I have been fortunate in my life to have a few close and dear friends, but I also know what it is like to lose friends due to death, marriage, etc.
One thing I also have to tell you too is that your new friends do not necessarily have to be all males either; platonic female friends are really helpful when it comes to emotional support.
Good luck, buddy. I have prayed for you.
2006-09-26 09:57:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, sounds like you do not have a lot of confidence there. First off you need to remember to be yourself. Smile when you are around others, always smile. Be sure you listen cause everyone likes to be heard but at the same time say what you want to too. If you are a bit quiet that is okay. Do not think you are stupid. Sounds more like you are socially deprived and that can make you feel a bit out of the ballpark . I think the main reason you get along so well with your little nephew is you feel he is not judging you whereas around others you feel they might be. Do not think everyone is smarter then you, they may just have a better gift of gab (talk) having had more practice. Find what interests you and find people who have the same interests. If you ever do feel you need more knowledge get to the library and learn more, not to keep up with them but to please yourself . We should all learn at least one new thing a day. I think you will do fine but give yourself more credit. Last but not least, get out to places where you can meet people. Go to the coffee house, the library, the gym, church, where ever there are people. Smile, say hi, remark on the weather, current events or whatever is the issue of the day. Good luck!
2006-09-26 15:45:23 · answer #2 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are good with children. Join an exercise class or better yet. Become a mentor. You can join the Boy Scouts Group and be an assistant counselor. This way you have social interaction. there is big brother big sister groups and 4-H. Volunteer work is a good way to meet people. Don't try so hard. there are many simple people out there in the world.
2006-09-26 15:11:33 · answer #3 · answered by :o) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have answered your own question... you said you're good with your nephew, and like teaching him stuff and hanging out with him. How about volunteering at a local school? What about teaching a class for your local parks and rec department? Maybe look up your local Big Brother organization, or Boy Scout program? Teaching and mentoring others is a GREAT way to build confidence in yourself AND the next generation, and confidence is a key ingredient in getting to know new people and making friends.
Volunteering is good for you and good for others- give it a try!
2006-09-26 15:10:34 · answer #4 · answered by craftladyteresa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join a gym. You could work on your knee, and it's a great way to meet people. Tons of activities, lots of girls, pick-up basketball and raquetball games for the guys. You'll have a blast. Try LA Fitness or Crunch Fitness if one is nearby. Good Luck!
2006-09-26 15:04:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jon S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok you just have to be your self dont always go looking for people let them find you. I think you being friends with your sisters 5year old is great its someone you are comfortable with and thats a good thing keep that bond. If you want to meet people go to church, or join some kind of club. I dont think your stupid you just want a friend. You can e-mail me and we can talk if you want.. smith_hottie_sr07@yahoo.com
2006-09-26 15:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this is an issue for you. I'm sure it has to be difficult. The first place I would always consider would be a church, or whatever your religion might be, their meeting place. They have singles groups that get together.
Also, support groups. I'm sure there are support groups for your type of situation, you'd have to do some research online for that.
Volunteerism. Go to your local homeless shelter or youth shelter and volunteer your time to help people who are in need. It's amazing the people you will meet.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-09-26 15:05:25 · answer #7 · answered by Heather S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might very well be stupid, but stupid people have friends. In order to make friends you have to talk to people! Just have conversations with some strangers and then the more you see and speak to them, you will develop a friendship with at least one of them. Friends multiply by being around each other, so one friend breeds two, etc..... So once you have one friend you will soon have two, and so on. Show yourself friendly and you will do ok.
2006-09-26 15:06:12 · answer #8 · answered by outspoken 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Try volunteer work, especially in charity shops or local wild life reserves, you will meet lots of wonderful people who will respect you for what you are. You are not stupid you just lack in confidence.
2006-09-26 15:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by asparaguskiss 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Church is a friendly compassionate place to make friends. that is not the right reson to go,but I've made a lot of friends there.
2006-09-26 15:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by nancy e 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋