He is rather uptight and our sex life is downright dull. Whenever I make a suggestion to spice things up, he acts like I've hurt his feelings, gets mad or says that "I don't know what I'm talking about." It is very frustrating. I'm not asking for anything weird or gross, just more passion. I realize that he has insecurity issues regarding sex but how can I help him get past that and be more receptive to a more exciting and fun sex life with me? He is interested in sex, just not putting much effort into it.
2006-09-26 07:50:58 · 19 answers · asked by sunnygirl1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You say "he has insecurity issues regarding sex". This is the root of the issue. If he isn't willing to talk about these things, the step I recommend is that you take the lead. He might lack passion naturally, or because of his issues. If he naturally lacks the passion, there probably isn't a thing you can do. If it's due to his insecurities, you take the reins. When you have sex, put everything you have into to rocking his, well, rocks. If he is afraid to try new things, subtly ease him into them. Distract him with other actions, while putting new ones into play. Try that a few times. His problem may be in response to your frustration. If this doesn't work, approach the idea of counseling.
2006-09-26 08:16:52 · answer #1 · answered by xanex_caligula 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking him to a sex shop. Seeing all the options may inspire him. If you're not comfortable doing that, go by yourself and get a couple books or movies. Pop one in and see what happens. Or you could be the initiator and show him what feels good for you. Guys like it when we women take control sometimes. If nothing works, you need to have a serious conversation. If he gets offended, try to get him to see a sex counselor with you.
2006-09-26 07:57:46 · answer #2 · answered by brainy_blonde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish my wife would want to try more things. The mere mention of sex throws her into the therapists arms in a heartbeat. :-o
Adventurous sex doesn't mean kinky it means trying new positions getting and giving head, it seems when sex is brought up, like her AMEX bill she recoils as if it's hot fire.
We have to coordinate our escapades with teenagers sleeping in on Sat or Sun morning which makes it a challenge even to get time. I do understand your dilemma, I've come to the conclusion that in order to spark intimacy I have to remind her a couple of times a week I am attracted to her. It seems she will respond in kind if I don't make my sexual overtones extremely overt. (like grabbing her boobs from behind in the kitchen loin to butt and nibbling her ears.)
Kissing is the nicest way to get off dead center. Necking like teenagers, seems to get her in the mood about as quick as anything.
2006-09-26 08:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you married a dud. Did you date before getting married? Passion does not start when you go to bed. Passion start when you both coe together. If he is not passionate he is not passionate. Some people are borrn passionate. Some are born cold You should have known. If you want passion and your husband can't give you that either go your separate way or tell your husband that you want to have another man to share their bed.
2006-09-26 07:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by pundit005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband said the same thing about me. Maybe he is afraid to show how freaky he is. Pull it out of him. Get the book 101 good nights of S E X. Worked for me (smile) 3 kids and 1 on the way LOL
2006-09-26 07:54:16 · answer #5 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a big deal. You need to make a time to talk to him, outside of the bedroom about it. Be sure to reassure him that you love him, that he does turn you on, etc.,etc. It's not easy for either of you to have this conversation, but if you can get through it, and he works with you - you can have an amazing sex life with him.
2006-09-26 07:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know; perhaps this is just how he is in this area, and you simply need to accept that he's not likely to change - and focus on the things in your relationship that ARE good. What was it that made you fall in love with him and marry him to begin with? It had to have been something else besides sex.
2006-09-26 07:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Training films.
"9-1/2 Weeks" the original
"The Piano" also very erotic.
If they do not help check for a pulse.
Very remedial training, " American Pie" for the fully inhibited.
2006-09-26 07:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there really someone perfect from both of you? Ask him to take Viagra ! If he does not agree to take it-Does he has a taut body,broad shoulder,clear skin,masculine face if not potency cause it.Understand Incompatibility complex ( MHC) which play a critical role in sexual life.or maybe genetically unsuitable to you.Hold him upon you with a tight cross hand on his waist.and move round round ON your hips!
2006-09-26 08:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by precede2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make it fun. You are probably putting too much performance pressure on him. Watch some Porn and make it a fun deal for everyone. Go somewhere special (or adventurous).
2006-09-26 08:03:43 · answer #10 · answered by Drewpie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋