Is it harder on a gay relationship to have more straight friends or more gay friends? I'm asking because me and my partner have a LOT of straight friends and very little gay friends. It seems we spend more time hanging in the straight bars ... don't get me wrong, I love it, but I miss the gay night life that I once used to be a part of. I do want more gay friends, how do I bring this up to my partner without him feeling I'm "searching" for somebody new?
2006-09-26 07:16:05 · 16 answers · asked by spartexcites 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
That's a tough one! I miss the gay-scene too sometimes. The parking lots, the bushes, the bathrooms - no just kidding!! Honestly!!
It seems most of my gay friends are still looking for the right guy. They seem pre-occupied, almost obssesed, and they're always on "the look out" for that one guy! My str8 friends seem more relaxed about everything. It's as if I'm accepted by them and I'm really comfy. But I do miss the social stuff that happens when you're out drinking and dancing, the lights, the sounds, the ppl you meet, all of it. I'm ok being who I am, but I go out once in a while just to feel connected to my "roots" as it were. Being a tranny means a lot just to get hit on!! It really is a big deal! I probably won't do anything with them but it does give me a boost and it feels nice once in a while.
It's an emotional thing. Maybe you can explain it that way to your b/f?
2006-09-26 08:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My partner and I have about an equal number of gay and straight friends both singles and couples.
But I do understand what you mean. When we first started living together, we kind of lost touch with a few of our single gay friends. It seemed that because we were now a couple our single friends backed away. We retained a few of them still, but we did loose touch with a few others.
So, I became involved more in "our" community. I did a lot of volunteer work, got to meet new gay and even a few straight friends.
We also do some theatre work. You meet all kinds in community theatre, gay, straight, trans, bi...all walks.
If you have a creative flair, why not get involved in a local community theatre!?
2006-09-26 10:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am like your partner. More straight friends than gay friends. Usually the gay friends are busy with their own partner or looking for one rather than just hang out
2006-09-26 07:24:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should be able to have friends whether they are gay or not and it shouldn't have an influence on your relationship but I can see why you would want to go to the gay bars. Just accept the friends you have but maybe go out as a couple to a gay bar and make new friends while you keep your old friends.
2006-09-26 08:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
One of my close gay male friends and his partner have an agreement about gay bars that has kept the peace for them for many years: they only go together. This agreement seems to work because there is no room for suspicion or drama, and when they are out they are obviously together and not available.
2006-09-26 08:31:02 · answer #5 · answered by Cia 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well we have more gay friends that str8ght.... I love being around people that I have many things in common with...... I do have some str8ght friends, its mostly my sister and friends of her's.. they are a blast but they seem like more drama...... So I don't have an answer....... I think friends have a lot to do with character and personality...... That is what I would look at... If you make quality friends that have respect and Morales.. It would matter what orientation they have...
2006-09-26 08:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by mylife 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just say you want to hang out with your "peeps"! Because we're in a minority, there is greater sense of familiarity and belonging when we all get together, weather it be a BBQ or at a dance club. Wanting to have friends in the community shouldn't mean to your partner that you're looking for someone else.
2006-09-26 08:14:03 · answer #7 · answered by moonie 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I personally prefer straight friends too. There just seems to be such sexual tension with gay friends.
If you are concerned about your partner, try recommending that you do it together... then he will know you're just looking for friends :)
2006-09-26 09:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Honey, I miss the night life we used to have partying in the scene - seems like all we ever do is drink in straight bars. Do you fancy a change of scenery, coz I do - if only to realise that I don't miss it"
2006-09-26 07:22:30 · answer #9 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
we seem to have more straight friends as well..but we do have gay friends...but we're really not into the nightlife so I don't miss that part of it. As far as your partner goes..tell him the truth..nothing ever beats the truth.
2006-09-26 08:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋