I was in a relationship with this guy which we started off as friends. It was GREAT! in the beginning. Then, it progressively got worse. He became controlling and I knew he was cheating on me. Since I have the old Skool values of "stand by your man" I tried to work things out. It just kept getting worse. Well here comes the problem. He did not let me work because he had ALOT of trust issues. So now that I have left him I have nothing! I am at my mom and dads house going insane! If anyone has any ideas I need a way to make quick money and find somewhere to go like asap. I care about him alot, but I know that I deserve more than that. My sister was in an abusive relationship and has recently gotten back together with her husband and I dont want to be in that same boat. There is nothing more than I want than to be with him, but I know he will never change. Please Help!
2006-09-26 07:04:02 · 11 answers · asked by christy85 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go back to school and get your hs or college or professional or advanced degree or certificate. Decide what you want to do with your life and stand on your own two feet. You alone define your happiness, not someone else. You will realize there are other fish in the sea and you are not as weak and needing of him as you think.
2006-09-26 07:08:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About the trust issues - I suggest tackle them by directly asking him as to why in the first place he should have those feelings. For instance if he feels threatned that you are beautiful, and therefore may find your love interest else where, something that guys wont discuss but would take the precautions anyway, like what he is doin now. If that were so, maybe you could assure him that being with him is not just a "leave you high and dry" moment, but more than that. Conversations like this reveals a lot of stuff that some, ordinarily may not break down to words spoken or blatant expressions, they have to be talked out of you. And if this still does not work, I guess as you said you indeed need someone better. What is the purpose for one to be in a relationship, when you dont get what you want or have a compromise setup. As people are different and it is not always possible to like the same things or be the same individuals, but atleast come half way. Willingness to lay your self on the table , so that you can take in the best of the suggestions and opinions of the other, so as to make your self a better person. After all I am sure sex is not the only stuff you look in a relationship, got to be more than that, you can throw money and get the humping, but what about stuff at a level discussed above? And if you are not getting that here, look else where!!!!
2006-09-26 07:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST~If you want nothing more than to just be with him~then you have head issues to work out~
SECOND~you can do this~stop being so impatient and go get a job. I was a stay at home mom~and we broke things off as well~and I woke up one morning and realized that I had an eight year old to feed, and I had NO money~NO home~NO job ect.... I have recently moved in with my friend, her husband and their two kids~now there are six of us, living in a three bedroom house, with ONE bathroom~and surprise, I now have a forty hour a week job, I know the money isn't great, but it is still money~and I have been here since the end of July~YES~it is extremely hard, but I am dealing with what I do have, and thankful enough to have friends that could help out~instead of dwelling on the rest of it!!!!! Everything in life is only temporally anyway~NOTHING lasts forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-26 07:26:12 · answer #3 · answered by click 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, stay away from him!!! If you keep going back to him, then he is going to keep controlling you, and you'll never be able to be independent and stand on your own two feet. Next, if you don't already have one, go to school and get an education. This will be a good experience where you will not only be preparing yourself for a successful future, but you'll also be able to meet people and stop going crazy at your rents house. :-) You're going to have to start from the bottom and work your way up, but you can do this hun. Just hang in there, and you will find success.
2006-09-26 07:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by LibraT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, You have core needs like we all do. You found yourself getting them fed from this loser boyfriend of yours.
You need to first learn about your needs and then find constructive ways to start feeding them. If not, you will hook up with another loser.
As far as the money, Find a job that fits your personality.
if you don't know what that is, take the test and find out.
Then go for it.
You deserve to be happy and you are worth it. It's up to YOU not anyone else.
2006-09-26 07:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by Life Coach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to hear about your sister, with luck her marriage or relatioship is fixed and not abusive,,or if it is that she can get away and make a real living and meet a good man,, as for your case , also sorry to hear it,,if you were married i would urge you to sue for allimony, as it stands i dont think you have much choice but to start at the bottom,,its humiliating,, but thats all in the persons mind,, everyone starts at the bottom,, and that is the only place to start to gain the skills,, plus you might meet a good man that way,,you never know..good luck and congrats on getting away from a guy like tha,,im married to a woman like that,,..take care
2006-09-26 07:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by kewl69charger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apply for jobs even at companies that aren't running ads for help wanted. Save your money, know that you can support yourself and get your own place. Have absolutely nothing to do with your ex, you're right when you say he won't change. He had chances to do so and blew it.
It'll take time to rebuild your life but you can do this. You'll be just fine.
2006-09-26 07:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT go back with him - get a job, any job, and start figuring out what you want to do to earn a living. I know living with parents is a pain - but use the time to get yourself to be independent - so that you are not dependent on your parenets or a man.
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 07:10:47 · answer #8 · answered by RT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take it one day at a time dear lady, it will work out. You have a lot of guts and deserve oh so much more. Good luck
2006-09-26 07:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the mall and try to get a retail job. you dont have to have experience doing that.
2006-09-26 07:06:25 · answer #10 · answered by Ash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋