In a private session, an older student (40's) with dance training (or so she says) was difficult. She picked up the basics quickly during the first lesson. But, during the 2nd lesson (w/another student of mine) she was not doing well. Her execution was awful. Nicely, I gave her some tips on how to follow better. But, she kept making excuses for herself as if she knew better and was not taking the advice I was giving her. Then, I told her those might be valid reasons, but while you're in here, you could do so and so to take advantage of the time and do so and so to dance better. But, she continued with her excuses. So, I just stopped and said "Okay, maybe you're right." I stopped giving her advice for the rest of the15 mins. Later, I felt stressed out and bad like I didn't teaching well. She got to me and I don't like the knawing feeling. Luckily, I don't have to teach her again. Any nice or great insight or feedback is appreciated.(Wisecracks are not needed.) Thank you.
2006-09-26 06:47:24 · 9 answers · asked by c2t 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Dancing
I feel like maybe I could of done something better to get through to her. I don't like not being able to get through to a student. But, when someone is like that and doesn't want to listen or take good advice, what can I do? She got to me and I hate feeling like this. I was so happy teaching and feeling good about seeing my other students improving. She looked and seemed like she doesn't feel great about herself and now she's dragged me down too. It's not a good feeling. What can I do to get over this feeling that is bothering me inside. I felt really great about teaching now I feel so stressed out, down and out of sorts like I'm doubting myself. She seems toxic and underhanded in some ways and she has brought me down. I'm glad I don't have to teach her anymore. Ugh! Any nice & great advice is appreciated.
2006-09-26 07:00:15 · update #1
i hear you and i believe that you did what you could. it is not your fault that the student was not open to learn from you,[some people think that they know it all and it makes it hard for you]
know in your heart that it was her not being open and that you can not make someone listen to good advice you will find in your career that if a student is open minded you can do alot for them, but closed minded people will not let you assist them. to try to get over this make a list of good students and not so good students, i know that the good students list is full and the not so good list is very small. then you can know and feel that you have done what you needed to do and that you are successful in your talent and caring as a dance teacher. good going for you and keep on doing the fine work you are doing...........
2006-09-26 08:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by churchonthewayseniors 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm a dance teacher as well. And oh. There are some students, ESPECIALLY middle aged students, who think that they know everything. I think it's because, unlike younger people, they've been away from the learning process for so long. Plus, the teacher is usually much younger, and they feel superior due to the "voice of experience".
The answer is, you couldn't do anything better. She thought she could dance better than you, you tried to help and she didn't want your help. She'll either realise what she did wrong one day by herself (after seeing that she can't follow or dance) or she'll never know and she'll be one of those people who think they can dance and can only do one thing right: step on your toes.
On the other hand. Maybe she feels like she is beyond help? Maybe she's too depressed, her self-esteem may be too low to actually believe that she can be better. As a student, I had this weird pattern: one or two days of great lessons, then a sudden drop. Repeat. It was like I couldn't really believe that the last lesson had gone so good, so I automatically blocked due to lousy self-esteem.
But even in that case, my teacher wasn't to blame. She did what she could. And in my case she did a bit more (we were also friends). I know that it must be a killer, but you really can't do anything now that she's not your student. Maybe if you dealt with her for more than 2 lessons you'd have more insight on this. Who knows? Maybe she had a weird psychological block, maybe not. Whatever the case, you did very well with what information you had in hand.
Good luck with teaching. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.
Ellie
2006-09-26 15:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she became frustrated and defensive because she couldn't do something that she felt should have been easy for her... and perhaps once was. That can be quite a shock.
And really, there's not much you could have done to snap her out of it.
Perhaps a more authoritative approach would have worked better - or perhaps that would have driven her to tears, or led to an outburst. Perhaps you could have cut the lesson short and sat her down for a talk - but she was probably in no state to discuss things just then. You could have returned to some of the basics - which could have backfired too, as an insult. But there's no point in second guessing yourself.
The problem wasn't the way you handled things but the mismatch between the way she viewed herself until that point, and her actual abilities.
I think Red Foxx had a stand-up routine that included the line: "The definition of a tragedy is a dream shot down by a fact." So true.
I'm sure that after she calmed down enough to re-evaluate her ambitions, she had a sobering think about her behavior towards you too.
2006-09-26 15:51:19 · answer #3 · answered by OMG, I ♥ PONIES!!1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she only did ballet as a young child, or perhaps she gets nervous around people she doesn't know well. Her excuses could just be nervousness and not wanting to look bad in front of this (presumably) younger student who has had more experience. Don't feel bad, I think what you did was really good under the circumstances and I know I wouldn't have done half so admirably as you did. I think you should try to make sure whoever is teaching her now(if she is continuing with dance classes) is very patient and gentle, she sounds like someone with low self esteem issues who can't take constructive criticism. Please don't feel as though you're a bad teacher, I think you were really great and there was nothing more you could do, she obviously has some other problem in her life that she needs to adress, because many times outside stress can really effect your dancing, when I have exams I always have really jerky execution and I need more stretches and barre work in order to feel my normal self. You sound like a really committed dance teacher who was doing your best under the circumstances, you have nothing to feel guilty and bad about.
hope this helps
2006-09-26 16:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by sophielina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you are at. I'm sure the rest of the class saw it for what it was, and realized she was a "problem" student. Maybe what you are feeling is that as the instructor you are in charge of the class but she took that away from you. You were forced into a position of having to make a decision... you could either press the issue and possibly have to remove this student, or act as an adult and let it go with the knowledge that she won't return. I would say let it go, you did the right thing. Someday she may want to return to your class, in which case you politely say no, too much of a disruption.
2006-09-26 14:08:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like the old saying goes" You can take a horse to water but you can't make em drink." Honey keep your head held high and you smile because YOU ARE a great individual. Maybe you should look at that experience as one to make you laugh.
2006-09-26 13:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by neicy 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow I wish just a fraction of my teachers had cared as much as you do!You can't be a better teacher than to know the subject and care.
Then the student has to meet you half way.She has to try and care. Sounds to me you have done your part.
2006-09-26 15:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ben 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has a problem with authority. She has personal issues. I never treat a person like that especially when I am taking a class. When you see her just smile and say hi.
And too, maybe she wishes she had your job.
2006-09-26 13:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know....
2006-09-26 13:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by hfjgdhfjfjhdjjdjydjhmmbnmghjktyj 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋