The whole time he has been leaving me every month and staying gone a few days then comes back, but he has been talking to other girls on the omputer and cell phone and meeting them. I love him but I need to let him go.
2006-09-26 05:56:01 · 18 answers · asked by nextelfan25 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
KICK his butt to the curb.
You deserve someone who will respect you.
Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater.
2006-09-26 05:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You deserve to be a man who loves you in return. You love this man, and it will be hard to get over him. But once you find the one who you were meant to be with it will so much better than this. You will than relaize that this is a while new feeling, and that before the love you had with this cheater wasnt really love at all. Love should something that comes natural not pushing it into somthing thats not. You need to get away from him, take everything that reminds you of him and push it aside. Trashing it or anything such as that wont kill the memories, so either pack up a few of things that really meant a lot to you from him and the rest you can get rid of. One day you will be able to look back on it and smile without any tears. But in the mean time just push it away in a box and leave it. Once you get somewhere that you wont be running into him all the time it will be easier. Get together with the ones that love you, your family and friends, right now you need all the suport you can get. go out with just the girls, go to new places met new people. Once you realize life is going to go on with or with out this man, the eaiser it will be for you. And one day when you are not expecting it the man of you dreams will walk right in. And you will have the life you deserve. You need to know you are worthy of love and he who wont give it to you, is not worthy of your love.
2006-09-26 13:13:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually going through the same thing right now. Only my marriage has lasted three and a half years. I give it to my hubby/soon to be ex......he did a helluva job keeping it from me. But deep down I knew it. I just wanted to believe the lies.
Maybe somewhere DEEP down, you knew it too???
Well, anyhow, I just accepted it. I stopped lying to myself. I turned 30 and it seems like I "WOKE UP" that month. I did a self inventory and decided that I didn't want to "settle" anymore. I would take care of ME, and that I would get rid of ANYTHING that was UNHEALTHY, HARMFUL, or OFFENSIVE in my life.
Staying married to a man who was selfish, manipulative, lying, disrespectful, and who only acted right when he "wanted" to, was step number one. It took about five weeks for me to ignore my fear of stepping out of my comfort zone....but I finally went to the lawyers office and filed and started the paperwork for divorce.
At the VERY LEAST you deserve HONESTY. He is your HUSBAND, NOT just some boyfriend. That is a SERIOUS thing. At the very least you should be able to trust your HUSBAND. Take care of YOU. And do what is BEST for you. It's more than just an issue of deciet........it becomes an issue of your health. I am a nurse, and I can't tell you how many women have come into the hospital thinking they were just 'sick', and recieved the shock of their lives and found out they were HIV+, or had full blown AIDS.
I don't know your age......but as stated, I'm 30 now....as of July this year. I decided, after looking back over the last 10 years of my 20's, that I wasn't gonna make the same mistakes, and continue the same pattern of unhealthy choices and habits that continued to bring me down. I am old enough to KNOW better, but I am yound enough to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, and not be old and gray and unhappy.....WISHING I would have made different choices in life.
Your time is NOW......and there IS a GOOD relationship out there somewhere for you.........it's yours and has your name written on it.........but you will never recieve it if you keep hold of the one you have now. Just focus on YOU and taking care of YOU and not letting anything or anyone add negativity to your life.
THEN that relationship will find you. Trust me. Because mine found me.........and my divorce isn't even final yet! =)
2006-09-26 13:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look forward and don't look back. He's no good for you and by hurting you so deeply, your pain should make it easier for you seek solace and peace for yourself in your life. Understand the LORD won't put more on you than you can bear, but He will allow us to go through pain that strengthens our character in the long run if only to make us appreciate the blessings to come in the future. I was with a cheater in the past (not married) and I had to rally my brother, my sisters and some good friends around me. You will actually feel a weight lift off of you once he and you are apart for good. Look forward to that! And look forward to love finding you. The love you deserve will, once you're healed and whole again. Please understand it is HIS WEAKNESS and NOT anything about you that caused him to cheat. Nothing's wrong with YOU, something's wrong with him, the cheater with no morals or respect for the covenant of marriage. Godspeed to you honey. A book that helped me was Iyanla Vanzant's book called "Interiors." There is nothing specific about cheating in it, it just showed the journey of a person from ashes to healing and enlightenment. It took my mind off of my pain at the time.
Here are all her books on Amazon.com.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=br_ss_hs/002-1766281-2141610?platform=gurupa&url=index%3Dblended&keywords=iyanla+vanZant&Go.x=6&Go.y=6 Do things to lift your spirit and nourish your wrecked soul. Hope you're better soon! God bless you baby.
2006-09-26 13:19:21 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!!!! Your going to end up with some kind of disase or something! If he has never been faithful to you get out. You deserve better. There is no sense in talking to him he will never stop cheating!! Just tell him to get out or you get out. It's that simple. It will be hard for a while but eventually you will get over it and find someone who really loves you back.
2006-09-26 13:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES I SAY THAT BECAUSE IF YOU WEREN'T YOU WOULD BE GONE ALREADY. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE JUST BECAUSE YOUR MARRIAGE IS. WE ALL GO THROUGH THINGS IN OUR LIFE. ONCE YOU'RE GONE AND THE HURT IS ALSO YOU WILL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND SAY WHY WAS I SO STUPID BUT YOU'RE NOT STUPID LOVE DOES THAT TO SOME OF US. DON'T YOU THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A QUEEN YOU SHOULD AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENT. YOU DESRVE SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU, RESPECT YOU AND BE THERE FOR YOU. HEALING TAKES TIME AND YOU WILL HEAL AND THIS WILL BE BEHIND YOU AND SO WILL HE. CHEER UP
2006-09-26 13:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by diamond girl36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just let him go. before it gets worst.
I've been there, and done that.( I wasn't married, he didn't want to marry me just live with me and have 2 kids with me.)
It was hard but in the long run I came out fine, and now I'm happy, and have a great boyfriend and hopefully one day will marry him.
2006-09-26 13:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Tuty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you possibly love this guy? It is so obvious that he doesn't love or respect you at all. Get a lawyer and file today. The longer you wait the harder it will get.
2006-09-26 13:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Rob B 69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, find another place to live then get your stuff and move yourself out. Leave him a note. Get a good divorce lawyer and get it done.
2006-09-26 17:14:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either leave him or except it. If he is doing it now, he will never stop and prefers somthing else. Don't waste your time because you can never get that time back.
2006-09-26 12:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by purplesax 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its easy to let go of him,u have no kids and thats great.U r just waisting your time with him.Why do u love such a m....f....r
2006-09-26 13:23:07 · answer #11 · answered by EMMA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋