In the beginning, he was Mr. Porn, Strip Club, Hustler, Hooters guy and most of the time, he lied about it. In the beginning, it hurt my feelings that he would do these things and lie to me....mostly because he was making really mean comments about women's body parts...me included.
So...here we are a couple of years later...he says he hasn't masturbated in over a year, he's mad at me for doing it and he doesn't want any kind of porn. He says I am beautiful (now...no more mean comments) and he wants this anti-masturbation rule...Which was fine, until I started noticing evidence that he was...which ofcourse, he denies. Now, I say let's have porn, go to strip clubs, have sex toys...but he says he's "not like that anymore"...He's a normal healthy male...huge wandering eyes...
What's up??
2006-09-26 05:49:16 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is such a hypocrite person
2006-09-26 05:56:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Obviously he has some serious issues. If all of a sudden he's changing to a more "puritanical" way of viewing sexuality he's had what I call a "bullshit awakening". What kind of a person regresses to the point that masturbation is a bad thing? I don't have an answer for that question but you have to wonder why.
Personally I don't think this augers well. You should ask him why all of a sudden he's against masturbation? If he's honest the answer will prbably tell whether or not to stay with him. I think it's just wrong that he went to strip joints and all that and now he's turned in the opposite direction.
Regression is never a good thing in a person.
2006-09-26 05:58:30 · answer #2 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I've never heard of a guy that DIDN'T want to know about their wife masturbating! That's impressive. New record in the Guiness! huh, I'm stumped. It sounds to me like he's either hiding something or is very insecure about something. Can you just sit down and talk about it? Tell him it's exciting and you want to be able to share that together and that you don't care if he does it or not and you know he does because he's human and that's what most of us do from time to time. Hopefully you can talk about it. People say sex is NOT key to happiness in a marriage - but those people are divorced or stupid. Sex has a lot to do with happiness in a marriage, it's a way to show your affection for each other. I think you need to talk about it. Maybe try doing it together to loosen up a little. Not sure I can post this but - get into the mood and while YOU are massaging HIM, at some point slowly start moving his hand to his own self and see if you can slowly work him into doing it in front of you. Men are usually pretty easy to coax when they are in the hot and heavy. Email me if you want. This is a rather personal issue. Good luck!
Oh and I use to be uptight about that stuff but one day something just clicked. And I was actually self consious about it at the time, so I really think that's your husband's problem. Don't get too angry with him, that'll drive him further away.
2006-09-26 05:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sandie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's grown up and left the young man things behind. Be glad that he wants you and only you and not the strip clubs and porn. He is probably concerned that he feels he is not giving you enough that you need to masturbate and that makes him worry that you are looking for outside help... Why think that? Well back in his porn, strip club, hustler, hooters days, that was probably what was on his mind and that scares him...
2006-09-26 05:54:15 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with masturbating. I'm sure that he has done it before and you never got on his case about it. If he is doing it then you can do it to. He's having fun so keep on doing it who cares what he says! Do you guys have sex? If not then there is a huge problem! If you don't have sex then either he likes masturbating to much or he is cheating on you. You have to talk to him about it. If he doesn't respect your point of view then you have to move on. It's just not all about him. If he has lied to you in the past then what would stop him from lying to you now? You have to have some kind of excitment in your sex life once in a while! It get's pritty boring doing the same things over and over again. If he wants no part of soicing things up then he has problems! All men like some kind of kinky stuff once in awhile, and if he sais he doesn't he's full of it! Like I said talk to him and if you can't get through to him it's not worth it. You can't sit there waiting for him to make up his mind. Find someone else. He should respect you!
2006-09-26 06:02:42 · answer #5 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck?? He is too.I think its sad to begin with that he was doing all those things behind your back I know how hurtful that can be.Usually its the guilty 1 that gets so angry and you know darn well he is doing it too, its normal every1 does. I think you are right!! Oh all of the sudden he turned into a saint no way doesnt work that way.I wonder what he is doing behind your back. Not to start anything but you go girl you just keep on doing what you want.Every one has a private life with themselves. He sounds like he needs a little therapy. Dont worry about it he will get over it.Try having a serious discussion about how you both want to run your sex life,and you voice your opinions!! How come it was ok when he was doing it all and shoving it in your face.Now you like it guess he will have to learn to live with it just like you did.
2006-09-26 05:58:36 · answer #6 · answered by maryann c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it up. It bothers him to know that you are doing that stuff, but he could do it. Two could play that game. You should act like you watch porn. Buy porn, even if you don't watch it, and hide it in a place you know he'll find it. See how he likes it. Do the same with a sex toy, accidently leave it out. Oops.....Sorry I thought I put it away. He's probably the one lacking confidence now.
2006-09-26 05:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your hubby suffers from the Madonna/Whore Complex. Look it up on google! In the beginning women.....even you were dirty, and were objects of his desire, and to meet his sexual needs......
But NOW, you are on a sort of pedestal. You are "good", he doesn't see you as "dirty", or just an object to be used at his discretion. And most of us are taught that masterbation is "dirty" when we are growing up. It's only when we become adults that we learn ourselves and learn that it is a SAFE, normal, healthy expression of our sexual desires and physical needs.
Well, hubby is still locked into that frame of mind. Masterbation is "dirty" to him, it's carnal......TOO human. And you are now his "pure" wife. The "good" woman in his life. And seems like such "filth" is beneath you. Remember.....you are on that pedestal now. He even treats you differently. I don't know.......seems like a double edged sword. He has stopped or atleast decreased SIGNIFICANTLY all the bad stuff........and is MOSTLY implementing GOOD stuff........but his perceptions are all off.
I was thinking too.......it may also be an ego thing. My hubby (soon to be ex) used to get mad too. It was an issue of my satisfaction. He wanted to be the only means of me achieving orgasm. So if he found out that I got some satisfaction without him, and in his absence.........he had a fit. Your hubby could be looking at it that way too....maybe just doesn't want to come out and say it. At any rate.......I would bet money that it is one or the other!
2006-09-26 06:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just like a typical man. Its all well in good when he wants to do it but not when you want to do it. If I was you I would do what he did to you in the beginning. Do it and lie to him. And I dont see anything wrong with masturbating whether your single or a couple.
2006-09-26 05:52:56 · answer #9 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dunno. People change. Is it something you can live with? Doesnt seem that horrible a request. Maybe he's settled into a routine sex life and is satisfied with you the way you were before...met you at your level...and now youre wanting to go where he was and it was difficult maybe for him to get there with time and will he did it. Find a good balance of both in the next two years together. :)
2006-09-26 05:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who knows. Men and Women hit diffrent hormone peaks at diffrent times. Maybe its just your time to be Horny!?? . BTW masterbation is a personal thing, no real need to share it with each other. I mean as long as your sex life is good otherwise who cares. Masterbation and sex really dont even have that much to do with each other. Some people masterbate for diffrent reasons, say to relax or relieve strees. To me masterbation is only for yourself and it shouldn't be that he has to tell you when he does it or you shouldnt have to tell him if you do it.
2006-09-26 06:16:30 · answer #11 · answered by Lori R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋