So my girl friend and I are not together right now. I love her with all of my heart and she feels the same way about me. She left me after 3 years because when we first started going out I had abused her physically it hasnt happened in about 2 years now because I almost lost her because of it after it happened and she gave me a chance and I made sure it never happened again so I didn't hurt her or lose her. Recently her mom was in an abusive relationship and the guy had came into her house and choked her mom. i know this really scared my girl friend and it caused her to recall all those thoughts of the abuse. She said she couldn't take a chance of that happening again so we can't be together because I know it won;t happen again but she says she needs to know that. So i am going to start a group therapy next week not just to get her back but so i know what i am saying to her is the truth and to ensure her that i never want those things to happen again.
2006-09-26 05:39:05 · 5 answers · asked by Cursive 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Just pursue on your plan,i know she will come back to you after you had prove to her that you are willing to change those bad sides of yours cause you really love her,its just natural for her to react that way.Goodluck
2006-09-26 05:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by kimy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope for your sake that she comes back to you. But maybe seeing it happen to her mom traumatized her so much that she wants to be as far away from that as possible. I think you've made the best descision possible to want to go to group therapy so you KNOW you're being honest with yourself. Has she ever gone to therapy for what happened? Women who were abused need counseling! Maybe you could talk to her about it? She should really go if she hasn't already. By the way, if what you say is true, that you've gone 2 years and never hurt her again, good for you! You must really love her and you had to have done some real soul-searching (or major meds and counseling!) to be able to do that. It is so special and rare when a man actually changes like he says he will. Good luck to you!
2006-09-26 12:51:44 · answer #2 · answered by gidget 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you have stopped abusing her. That is why she left you along with seeing the abuse being done to her mother. It is not difficult to see that she chose you as a mate with your abusiveness because it is what she grew up with and what she knows.
When an abusive person stops hitting their mate, they think that they are cured but what they fail to see is that they are now throwing furniture or things or now are verbally abusive, etc.
You need to go to the class and she needs to go to one as well because after you, she will pick another abusive mate, it is what she sees in her family and knows.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-09-26 13:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you're starting therapy. But you should do it because you want to work out your issues, not because you're trying to get her back. And if she doesn't come back, you brought that on yourself by losing control to begin with.
2006-09-26 12:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the question?
2006-09-26 12:48:25 · answer #5 · answered by jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋