what should i do? about my husband?

Question

I've known my husband is bi and it really never bothered me but latly he has been acting more gay we used to have sex every day and he touched me and kissed me just like a loving husband would. but NOW he doesn't it's been a week i starting to feel alone in this marriage i love him so much and can't imagin leaving him but i think he wants to be with a man more even though he says he doesn't want to leave me i know somethings not the same any more .... PLEASE ONLY SERIOUS THOUGHTS ON THIS NO RUDE AND INSULTING OPINONS>>>

Please don't tell me my husbands a loser he's not he is a wonderful man... I have no problem with him being bi because i too amd Bi and have been in relationships before with women... but i love him he's my bestfriend and my world

Answer 1

Why don't you two try having an open relationship, where you can both experiment, to see if you both like it. Bring in another man for a night and see how things go. Then maybe try another woman, or you can each have your chance to be alone with whoever you choose. But you both have to be comfortable with doing it, or it will not work. Just do what feels right and don't do anything you or your spouse is uncomfortable with.

Answer 2

I was reading the biography, or maybe an autobiography, of Joan Crawford several years ago. There was a story that caught my attention. It seems that she had this ambition of bedding all the leading men of hollywood. Some were out of reach because of sincere commitments to their wives, but Rock Hudson was obviously a different sort of target. She had him over one afternoon by the pool. They were laying in the sun talking when she asked Rock Hudson to close his eyes. Then she shed her clothes, lay next to him and whispered, "Pretend I'm Cary Grant and do whatever you want with me." Maybe you need something like that, then talk about it afterwards. The only other thing is volunteer for a three-way (maybe he could be the ham in the sandwich, but with two guys, try to get the top slice job, or at least have him on the facing slice) or facilitate him during a session as you know best.

Answer 3

You can tell him that you're getting anxious, that you need reassuring and ask if there's anything you can do to help him out of whatever is troubling him. You can throw in the suggestion of watching (gay/bi) porn together.

You can do all these things. All he might need though is a good back rub and some sleep. Or he may be worrying about something (money/work troubles are good) and he's scared to tell you that it's eating him up...

In the end all you can is be there for him so that he can open up to you (or possibly not) when he's ready. You're his wife - mebbe he needs you to forget your own needs and concerns - for the moment - and just be there to support him?

Answer 4

I think I know what's going on with your situation. My wife and I had a long marriage and one day I just noticed we would argue about what we argued about! Stupid! We tried counseling, it didn't work. We separated and it turned out to be a few years. We kept in touch thru emails and phone calls. We tried to get back together but it didn't work! I have always been a closet CDer and then I sexualy discovered men while on my own. I found I prefer men. We still talk and we're still friends but that's it! She knows my sexual preferences and she don't like them but I'm ok and she is obviously not. Our kids tell me. No easy fix for either of us but it's the truth as we lived it.

Answer 5

We I hate to say but you knew what you got yourself into to begin with. Now, I recommend that you have a real heart to heart talk with him, no holes barred and no sugar coating and consider counselling. Maybe both of you need a little break to find yourselves. He might have some issues with you. The results may be not great in the end but you both must be strong. If you have real sincere love for each other you will not lose your friendship. I can assume you have no children? Pros and cons exist on that topic. Remember breaking up is very hard to do. The best we can expect is that in the time you have been together maybe you are just a little paranoid and well..people do change and grow apart for a spell. It called "The 7 yr itch"
In the meantime I wish you luck and my prayers are with you. Remember take care of each other and never go to bed upset. Be straight up! Peace

Answer 6

are you saying its only been a week since he hasnt touch you..well maybe he isnt in the mood..it happens. I think your jumping gun here..if its been months and no health problems causing it..like e.d then maybe you should be concerned...some gay guys tell people that they are bi its little a better than saying gay..maybe he is ready to tell you that is he is into guys only. why dont you ask him..if told you he was bi it sounds like he can tell you all most any thing. good luck..and I need to find a girl like you..

Answer 7

I think there is more to this then meets the eye....why after only a week are you so concerned? If his being bi never bothered you before, what is up that it is bothering you now? You 2 need to talk...

Answer 8

howdy, I once was in a position your husband is in. I was married and loved my wife. Over the 5 years we were together I continued to deny who I was. However as time went on the worse I felt inside. I finally came to the conclusion I was gay, not bi or straight. I knew for my happieness and hers that I had to leave. We are now best friends. she knows I would still do most anything for her, but she also knows I can not love her like wshe needs and deserves to be loved. She deserved more, and since our divorce has found it.

It sounds like to me he is fighting with himself. He is trying to figure it all out, and afraid to hurt you. I suggest being the bigger person here. Sit down and talk to him, and offer him the chance if he wishes to remain great frineds, and let him be free and let yourself be free. You both deserve to be loved 100% and it doesn't sound like he can give you this. If you do this now, you may indeed keep a love as a friend, and have better lives as friends.

Answer 9

I have heard all my life that bisexuals are kidding themselves. I honestly do not know if that is true or not - never really investigated it myself. The most common answer youa re going to hear is talk to him. While I believe that is a great way to start I doubt you will get any real information from the talk with him. I think you need to take stock of the situtation yourself and decide what you want and what you think.

You say you are okay with him being bi. Are you okay with him meeting up with guys that you don't know about and having sex? Are you okay with the health risks he might be bringing back to your bed? Are you okay with sharing him physically?

Are you okay thinking about him being with a man sexually and then coming home to you?

Right now you need to focus on you and how you feel for sure, and how you feel all of this effects your marriage.

I hate to tell you think but I know several bi guys who are married and all the ones I know are running around a LOT on their wives.

Answer 10

Maybe he's stressed, or tired, or having health issues. These affect men of all sexual orientations.

Maybe he's mad at you for some reason, and hasn't said what. (It doesn't have to be rational, either--my Ex-Boy was mad at me for *miscarrying*. We're both bi.)

Men, in my experience, don't like to talk about feelings. Play a game with him, or go for a drive with him, and he'll probably feel a bit more comfortable and open up.