I had a problem with a classmate at collegue last year. She's allways asking to borrow things from me. She is allways late to classes and exams. She's completely irresponsible. Also she's about 4 years older than me. I'm 26 and she's almost 30.
One day we where on exam. She interrupted me while answering the exam, and I didn't replied, so she standed up her desk an insulted me using a lot of rude and obscene words. The teacher did/said nothing to her. Days laters she apologized to me.
About two weeks later she did the same to me, and insulted me again for no reason. Since then I have been ignoring her, and stopped talking to her. This year she asked something from me and I didn't even looked at her, an she insulted me for a third time. Again I never replied. She's been trying to contact me a lot of times. Should I let her know, I no longer wish to treat her,and no longer wish to have anything to do with her? Or should I keep ignoring her?
2006-09-26 05:20:31 · 22 answers · asked by carlosdavid 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Will she get the message I don't like her?
2006-09-26 05:20:53 · update #1
You have to know by this time that there are some people in this world who are rude, obnoxious, and will want their own way, no matter what it does to someone else. These people are quickly identified by others. The others in your class know exactly how she is. Do they talk to her, etc.? I think not. She has picked you out of the crowd because she sees you as one of the few who would do as she wants.
Your move to ignore her is a good one. Keep your distance and until she demonstrates being a better person, keep away from her. If she continues to be a problem, go to the professor or dean of the college and tell them how you feel. The dean can take action, if no one else does, by either removing her from class or removing her from campus.
I also suggest you find some friends to associate with in class that will support you when she comes around. There is safety in numbers and if she sees that she is no longer the center of your attention and that there is no way for her to get it back, eventually she will find someone else to bother.
I commend you for your keeping your head about you and having the control you have demonstrated. You have, by far, demonstrated that you are the better person. Keep it up and don't get discouraged. Bad people sometimes take time to have their badness turn upon themselves. She will get her just reward sometime. Just be patient and don't be the one who loses control.
2006-09-26 05:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Captain Cupcake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't ever want to burn a bridge.
Don't call her back. Let her know your busy and can't stay and talk. Whatever you do don't lend her anything.
If she ever insults you again. Tell her that this is the reason why you don't have time for her. You are there to get an education and don' t need distractions. Hopefully she will finally get tired and stop bothering you. Its good you don't fight with her or react to her tirades. Just let her know once that you won't put up with this behavior and then go about you business.
2006-09-26 05:27:25 · answer #2 · answered by lajefa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By ignoring her she will never understand what happend and she will miss out the opportunity to understand what is wrong with her.
Ask yourself how you would want to be treated if you were in her shoes. Tell her in person or over the phone. This experience will be anxiety ridden and painful for you, but it will prepare you for confrontations in the future with friends, family, co-workers and even teachers. So suck it up, get her on the horn and list the reasons why she is not friend material for you (as you so succinctly described to us). She will later thank you, albeit 10 years later and quietly from her thoughts, and your shoulders will feel lighter. Cheers
2006-09-26 05:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by altruisticind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd just keep ignoring her. She sounds like the type of person that if you did speak up to her, it'll only get her going ten times worse. At least this way, you act like she doesn't really bother you at all. You know, you can meet a 45yr old girl, and you can also meet a 14 yr old woman, depending on what they went through in life and everything. I'd just say you met a 30yr old girl and try to remember that when she does stuff like that. I'd just chalk it up to immaturity, and pretend you're dealing with a child.
2006-09-26 05:25:28 · answer #4 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds mentally unstable. Make it very clear you want nothing to do with her. Set up boundaries that are strict, like not having any contact with her. If that fails, go to the office and let them know you are being harassed by her. They'll take that stuff really serious. But don't let someone this toxic in your life. It'll only drag you down.
2006-09-26 05:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by jen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you sell Amway.
Tell her your ignoring her because your in love with her and talking to her hurts inside.
Tell her the voices in your head say you can't talk to her any more.
Bark at her like a dog.
Show her a voodoo doll you made of her.
Have a T-shird designed that says "I wish ____ would leave me alone" and wear it every day.
WHenever she comes near put a plastic bag over your head or wrap your head in cellophane...eventually she'll get the picture.
Or...tell her she's making it hard for you to study and her outbursts are too unpredictable and you want her to kindly leave you to your studies. If she persists she's a stalke...tell someone.
2006-09-26 05:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by BOISE_DD 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm surprised that at your ages - you both act like children.
The best way is to confront her once and for all in an adult converstaion. Tell her all the things she does and how it affects you.
I know you can easily manage this one on one session and end up the meeting with everything resolved, including your friendship.
2006-09-26 05:26:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jason A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she is angry at you because you are not communicating your problem with her. Let her know that you do not want to let her borrow things from you, but tell her this veeeery gently! Tell her that if she needs something, to please ask the teacher or another classmate instead of you. Just tell her what is going on, and maybe she'll understand.
2006-09-26 05:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by Dolly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at her as though you're about to thrust your fist through her scull, teeth first and tell her loud and clear to leave you alone, then turn your back and walk off. Failing that, thump the stupid bia tch until she begs.
2006-09-26 05:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Derek K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's thickheaded. Just tell her you can't be friends because you set boundaries for what you will and won't put up with, when it comes to friends, and don't feel guilty about it. People like her have to be told the truth, sharply.
2006-09-26 05:24:05 · answer #10 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋