I thought I was just afraid i would lose this one too and that's why i wasn't getting attatched, but maybe I loved the first one more.
2006-09-26 05:15:26 · 19 answers · asked by confused mom 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
you are feeling very normal. as most of the women that answered, I had two miscarriages last year myself. i am now 24 weeks pregnant. it took me this long to get excited that i am pregnant. I didn't even bother getting my prenatal started until i was 4 and half months along. and even then i didn't even get excited until i saw the ultrasound for the first time. that's when i really started crying. i even had a fear my doctor would just tell me i wasn't pregnant, only fat. (despite the fact i could feel the baby moving)
you will be fine. that i can promise you. that's what is so wonderful about nature. she gives us 9 months to prepare physically and emotionally. once you have more then one child, i will say this. it is not possible to love one child more than the other. living or dead. if you still feel the need to mourn, it is perfectly fine to do so. there is nothing abnormal about that.
2006-09-26 05:50:35 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't love the first one more. Your last experience has just left you with a different perspective. I lost my first baby at 5 months due to a fatal birth defect, and it never even occured to me during that pregnancy that everything wouldn't come out honky dory. Now I'm 16 weeks with my second and I just can't get as excited, even though it's looking totally healthy. I understand now that life isn't a given, and this knowledge has made me a little more reserved, but I know in my heart that the farther along I get, the more excited I'll be, and once that healthy baby is placed in my lap for the first time there will be nothing but joy and love. I'm sure the same will happen for you! Don't stress too much - anyone in your position would feel the same way, and once you start feeling thoe kicks, believe me you'll be excited!
2006-09-26 06:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey your due same time as me!!! im so sorry for your loss :( but i know how u feel i lost a baby at 11wks 5 days it turned out the baby didn't develop from 6 weeks but everything else did and my body still thought it was pregnant. i have had another baby since and am pregnant again now. i ha vent been able to relax till now.......
when u feel your baby move for the 1st time i think that when ull truly believe its going to be OK , i felt this 1 move at about 14 wks and to me i took it as a sign everything is going ok. you never get over the baby u lost and u will always wonder what they would have been like but i do think you can love more than 1 child after all this is baby number 6 for me although sadly i only have 4 children and a pregnancy, the baby i lost is always in my heart and thoughts, i wish you all the best hunni x x x x
2006-09-26 06:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by mum_2_many 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have a hormonal rush at some point and be very happy with your child. If not, ask the doctor about this. But 17weeks pregnant is too soon to think you have no feelings. Wait until that baby is larger and kicking and rolling over inside you! You will be excited by then. And you will love your baby. 99% of all mothers do. Don't worry so much. Let nature take its course. Be happy!
2006-09-26 05:19:44 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you need to come around. You were giving the blessing of a lifetime. No such thing as loving one more then the other.
I had the exact same feeling. I went threw the similar thing. Think of it this way....... most miscarriages are the result of genetic deformity. And a woman once told me....... and it was the most comferting thing I heard...... God helps the ones who cannot help themselves. Almost every woman will miscarry at one point in their life, and most not even know it. You are not alone. It is devistatin. Just be sure you put your focas now on this beautiful healthy baby inside of you.
2006-09-26 05:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you loved that one more, it's normal. I'm facing the same thing. My last pregnancy ended in medically induced miscarriage at 16 weeks, I'm currently 5 1/2 weeks pregnant now but I don't even feel pregnant nor am I excited about this one. My husband is over the moon but I'm not feeling it. I think once everything is okay and your fear of losing the baby is assuaged you will be a wonderful mother! I firmly believe it's normal and you'll be alright.
2006-09-26 05:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had two miscarriages and also felt guilty about "replacing" the ones that died with other pregnancies. Plus, I was scared to get attached. Every healthy baby I have had (4), I have been really scared in the beginning and didn't want to be hopeful. So you're probably just trying to protect yourself without really realizing. The farther you get without problems, the easier it'll be to let yourself love this one. And once it's born and all the reality of having a baby hits, then it'll just be wonderful for you.
2006-09-26 05:21:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because if you truly loved this one less you wouldn't care that you didn't feel attached. Either you will become more involved when the baby reaches viability, (that is when it can survive outside the womb), or when you give birth. Even then you can worry so much about the baby living that you may feel afraid to love, but that will pass. Next week sometime you will begin to feel his movements and that may be all you've been waiting for to love this one on its own merits.
2006-09-26 05:24:49 · answer #8 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. The excitement will come. Mine showed up when I felt the baby move for the first time. Yours may come when you hold the baby. But don't worry because it is perfectly normal to be scared or at leat nervous. Normal to guard your feelings until you are sure that this pregnancy will work out. Good luck.
2006-09-26 05:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by RealitySucks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happened to me, but don't worry as time goes by and your belly gets bigger and the baby is moving all the time you'll get excited, especial when the baby is born. The feeling of seeing your child for the first time is indescribable!
2006-09-26 05:27:55 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋