I am very active and heavy in church and try to be with God. My husband goes but still cheats in any and every form there is. He also hits me often, pulls my hair talks bad about me. The pain is so deep I want to go but I also think I should give him a chance. The cheating memories haunt me day and night, I don't get much sleep. I hurt so deep!! I try to talk to him and he ignores me a great deal, or slaps me around. She's been in my house while I've been at work. He says he was upstairs alone looking for cigerrets. Theres been other incidents with the same girl and many many many many other girls.
2006-09-26 04:58:32 · 40 answers · asked by Cherokee285 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Pray for your strength first of all. Ask God to not only help you, but help him also. You need to talk to someone maybe from church that can help you. See if your husband wants to get help, not to work on the marriage but for himself. IT obvious he has a sickness. You need to leave. I know you are seeking God, but you cannot allow a man to use you as his punching bag. If he was a true man of God he wouldn't be doing you like that. I will keep you both in my prayers. God Bless you.
2006-09-26 05:07:31 · answer #1 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him.
Although your belief may discourage divorce, I know god would understand your decision. Just because divorce is looked down upon by most in a religious faith, doesn't mean you should stick around and be cheated on and abused. You deserve better, god knows this.
You're hurting and your husband doesn't care. You love him and he doesn't love you. If he loved you he wouldn't be having affairs and he would NEVER raise a hand to you. Any man that hurts a woman is a coward himself.
You have to leave for your safety, not just your feelings. First, you need to leave so you can stop being hurt by him. He is pulling you apart emotionally, mentally, and physically. You have to get away before you are scarred so deep that you can never move on. Secondly, your safety is in danger many ways. You could be beaten to death one day if he is that mad. Also, you may have come in contact with an STD, if your husband is sleeping around with many women, then he could've caught something and just as well passed it onto you.
Honestly, you deserve a safe environment.
God will not punish you; for you have given your all and taken all you could take. The pain is unbearable now and you do not have to stay, matter of fact you cannot stay. If you stay, you are only allowing yourself to be succeptable to such pain that he is causing you. It's not going to get better because he thinks he controls you and can do whatever he wants.
Since you're involved heavily with a church, I advise you to speak with a priest... he can help you find a shelter to stay in, away from your husband, until you get off of your feet. And, since it'll be a priest, you can be sure your confidenitality is in favor since priests do not tell.
It is time to get away and begin your healing process. Everything will get better and be okay if you leave..
2006-09-26 05:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my understanding of the situation, you want a husband who believes in God and abides by him, rather than merely attend services. Your husband has clearly demonstrated by his actions how he really feels about the church and God so you should not stay with him. Chances are he's probably even laughing behind your back at how easy it is to keep you. All he has to do is attend an hour's service once a week, and he's free to treat you as badly as he likes. Don't let him walk all over you.
In the eyes of both God and society, you are far more important than he is and have far more rights. He's merely a man, and they are a dime a dozen. Leave him and find someone who treats you the way you deserve: with love, care and attention.
Good luck. I hope you don't love him anymore. That will make it easier to let him go.
2006-09-26 05:05:32 · answer #3 · answered by Magina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there seems to be some misapprehension that if someone goes to church it makes them a good person that cant possible do those terrible things. WRONG, you only have to watch the news to know differently. Do not let him hide behind church and God, that is despicable. he needs help, much more than you can give him. i am usually the first to say sit down, talk about it it can be worked out but in this case I am lost for words. he is a liar, a chat and an abusive man will very rarely stop, I can usually give the benefit of the doubt and say that there may be a logical reason he is doing this, Hun i cant even begin to give him that courtesy. A man that hides behind God to face up to his faults and hide his wrong doings is no good, Get out before you cant.
2006-09-26 05:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care about you. If he did he won't hurt you. Church has absolutely nothing to do with im. Just b/c he goes to church doesn't make him a good person. He is cruel to you. He knows that cheating hurts you, he shouldn't do it. He shouldn't be hitting you either. You should really leave him. I'm going to assume that he has stomped on your self-esteem, makes you feel ugly. You can't do anything he does. If he wants to cheat and be with other women, then why does he keep you around? Because he needs someone to manipulate and put down, in order to feel better about himself. You probably don't know what it's like to get treated like a woman. You need to start thinking about yourself and your feelings, if not well then you will always be his piece of ****. I urge you to leave him; he will never show you the respect that you yearn ever again.
2006-09-26 05:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very hard one to answer...I have spent many years in a marriage similar expect that he hasn't cheated...I have stayed and things did get better, however this is not always the case. Since you are active is the church...talk to your pastor, ask him for advise and pray and meditate, If you open your heart and listen, God will give you the answer you are looking for. I stayed with my husband because this is the answer that God have me and the Bible has alot to say about marriage and divorce. If you husband is cheating, God does not expect someone to stay in this kind of relationship. Again..talk to your pastor..I'm sure he will help you with your decision. My heart hurts for you. I will keep you in my prayers.
2006-09-26 05:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like the only reason he is going to church is to look good in front of people. If he is beating you and talking bad about you then you really should leave. The abuse is only going to get worse. Trust me, leave him and start a whole new life. No one should be beaten by anyone and my mom always said the reason men hit on women is because if they hit another man they would probably get thier butts kicked.
2006-09-26 05:06:09 · answer #7 · answered by Just_Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him and don't look back. No one deserves to be cheated on numerous times and to top it off he hits you? No, no, no, no. Leave.
Leaving him isn't going to make the world end. Life goes on. A woman doesn't NEED a man, we can do fine - even better - alone.
Find someone else. Or stay single. I don't even know you, but I know this much - you don't deserve to be hit, and if a man needs to sleep with lots of women, then he should be single and not comitted.
2006-09-26 05:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by PrettyProblem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have an obligation to save his soul - and the only way to do it is to have him arrested for assault - he'll be able to ask Jesus for forgiveness as he sits in jail...His time there will make him a better person , and in that time you might be able to find a man who loves and respects and protects you...
I always thought it would be a good idea if there were a church committee that would have the responsibility for re-educating wife-abusers by means of a baseball bat. But I never heard of a church where they do that...
2006-09-26 05:18:00 · answer #9 · answered by sonnyboy1219 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness....you need to get out! It will only get worse. How low is your self esteem that you are allowing him to treat you this way? You need some councelling which hopefully your church will be able to help you out with. He sounds like a total jerk....and he's walked all over you..its seriously time to get out before anything more serious happens. Are you still sleeping with him? I hope not dont risk your own life and future....he sounds like a sleeze ball and you sound very much in pain...time to move on...look at this experience as a learning lesson in life...god will not be angry with you for leaving him...you need to gain back your self respect..go for some classes and work on your own life. God Bless.
2006-09-26 05:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋