The other night my husband and I went out to eat, everything was going fine and out of no where a couple walked by us and my husband starting asking me if I was intimidated by her I said no why, the lady probably weighed 250 or so and I weigh 125, im not putting her down or anything but I felt no reason what so ever to be intimidated by her , I had no clue what was going on or why the cause for his attitude, well to make matters worse he was drinking like a fish, and started yelling at me for being jealous of someone he had an affair with 3 years ago[YES HE CHEATED ON ME] he was yelling are you mad cause so and so got some of my cock, my god what is wrong with this man I am really thinking about divorce, why would some one act this way?
2006-09-26 04:51:04 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he does this about once or twice a month, I left nothing out of this story , I did or said nothing wrong to him for this kind of behavior
2006-09-26 05:00:55 · update #1
Because he is a philandering abusive drunk. As he has a history of this behavior then he's a full-blown alcoholic. You would be well within your rights to file for divorce. Don't just think about it, DO IT! Pack it up, get out and stay away. There is no life with this type of person. And don't believe any thing when he says he will change. No matter how much he begs, pleads, cries or threatens hold your ground. Unless he can get help for himself he will only get worse and he will drag you down with him. You aren't responsible for the way he has chosen to become. You don't need to do anything. Just being around him is enough to set him off and lash out at you. That is because you are the closest person to him and are in a very vulnerable position. It's not your fault. It will be your fault if you think you can stay around and tolerate his alcoholic drunken dead end. Or if you think you love him enough to make him change. Because you cannot change him. Because he will not and because he cannot change so long as he continues to drink.
There is no hope for this marriage and even less for him. The only hope lies with you getting away from this crazy cheating sot. If he acts like this in public I can only wonder the horrors going on in your home.
I know what I'm talking about because I've been this person. So, I implore you to make this break and the sooner the better. Obtain any help you need. You don't need to feel alone in dealing with this. There are support groups available (al-anon, AA, your doctor, your family, close friends, hot-lines, internet) Lady, if you value having any decent life and keeping your sanity then you need to do this for yourself. NOW !!
2006-09-26 14:57:35 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the drinking probably didn't help. First of all if he is talking like this is may be covering for another affair. With people that drink and honesty sometimes comes out.
I wouldn't just jump the gun on the divorce unless this happens on a frequent basis.
I would try to talk to him and tell him his behavior was unacceptable and you won't tolerate it. No one deserves it. It's not like you embaress him about cheating and being drunk.
I can't answer why someone would act this way, but mostly I have found alcohol makes us do some really stupid things.
2006-09-26 05:02:14 · answer #2 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately danger signs..........what's going on only you can find out by asking and sitting down for a long chat. The drinking issue is probably an Issue.....and that needs to be addressed. The jealousy.........well.......that's some thing that Ive had a lot of experience with in my past and my experience is that it will never, not ever go away. Its poison..........evil poison..... sounds like he was trying to pick a fight...in which case there are definate issues that need to brought forward...dont live under that kind of diress...not worth it life is too short. Kids involved? Even worse...they will pick up on the problems and it will stress them out... good luck
2006-09-26 04:58:38 · answer #3 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...well, there could be many reasons for this kind of behavior,..
Maybe, he is crying out for attention...maybe deep down it is really getting to him that he cheated, and he did it just so that he would feel more attractive and desirable to you...this is not to say that it was acceptable whatsoever! Worst, that he is cheating again...
Be it what it may, he is still your husband...you worked through his infidelity...i think it is time you sat him down and talked to him about what is going on in his heart and mind. Tell him that this is destroying your relationship...and that you are afraid that you cant deal with this any longer, if it continues without him talking things through.
It really seems he has a lot of things pent up inside...i think you need to confront him in a fair, non-threatening, calm manner...that you want to know what is going on with him.
2006-09-26 05:53:42 · answer #4 · answered by Patience 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband seems to thrive on others desire and wanting him. He sounds very insecure with himself right now and he is projecting his anger towards you.
You did not cause him to have an affair, it was not your fault. An affair is a form of mental and emotional abuse that can do a lot of damage to YOU. Tell him you will no longer tolerate this behavior and require him to go to counseling and stick to the consequence if he refuses to attend.
2006-09-26 05:04:29 · answer #5 · answered by victoriaspleasuresfl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems the drinking had something to do with his behavior but no excuse. Maybe he really wants a divorce but doesn't have the b***s to ask you and so he's trying to make you miserable so you'll file for one. Just a thought.
2006-09-26 05:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...ummm...is he bipolar? You sure made him sound like a psycho...are you leaving something out? Did you instigate any of this at all? Because really, you are making him sound like a nutjob. And if you are thinking about a divorce, was it because of this particular incident? Or is there some pattern of behavior behind all of this?
2006-09-26 04:57:07 · answer #7 · answered by Rivrav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think divorce is never the answer. You are just angry by his immaturity and stupid comment. You have gone this far to work out your problems. Honestly I think that he felt guilty for doing what he did and now hes blaming you. You need to talk to him about this (when he is sober). You said so yourself that everything was fine before he said that stupid comment. Just try to get passed you.
2006-09-26 04:57:51 · answer #8 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying to blame u with his problem's. He's probably still cheating on u. And he's picking fight's with u so that he will have an excuse to leave u. And he can point the finger and say it was all your fault. Dump him... And tell him that thing between his leg's ain't made of gold...
2006-09-26 06:06:18 · answer #9 · answered by buzzybeans 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the guy is a total jerk. It also sounds like he is trying to make his affair your fault. Get rid of the a@@, and find someone who has your feelings in mind. Someone who won't cheat on you in the first place.
2006-09-26 04:58:25 · answer #10 · answered by Bluesman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋