I am getting remarried but I want soo bad?

Question

to tell my ex all the hurtful things he did and why it didn't work out. Is this normal?? I am very happy but I have alot of resentment towards my ex husband and it drives me crazy?? What are your thoughts

I have been out of love with him for a long time. I know that's not it. Thanks for the crirticsm and comments

Answer 1

I think it is normal. However instead of actually telling him which won't do any good and probably just result in an argument try writing down all those things on paper and then hold a ceremony where you burn that piece of paper. It can be a recognition of letting go of your past and all the hurt and anger that you have been carrying around.

Answer 2

YOu have unresolved pain in your life. You can tell it to your new husband, to your best friend, to your therapist, but none of those people can take your pain away from you. Only the person who caused it can do that. Until you can drop that pain in the lap of the person who caused it and leave it there for them to deal with, you will carry it with you. I suspect that you're probably already told your ex these things before, but now with some time and seperation, you are maybe seeing that time in your life a little more clearly and have something to add? You just want to be heard and validated. You don't just want to tell him, you want to be acknowledged. It would be best if you could close that door and move on, but if you are still carrying it, it's just a matter of time before that hurt leaks out into your new marriage. I think you should talk to your ex for the purposes of healing. But you need to forgive him, even if he doesn't reciprocate and even if nothing you want comes out of that conversation. When you can be heard and forgive him, you'll start healing.

Answer 3

I would leave it alone for you fiance's sake. He doesn't want to hear about or think about your ex, and he probably doesn't want you to either. If you dwell on this it will only look like you're not over him. If you must get it off your chest, write him a letter or email. Then be done with it. Forget about him whether he responds or not. If you're getting remarried, then it's time to move on. That was a different period of your life and your starting a better one, be happy. And one more thing. If your ex wouldn't listen to you to save the relationship, then he probably won't now either.

Answer 4

It is totally normal. I suggest venting in a more constructive manner. I know it sounds stupid, but I write down all my frustrations, etc, and that seems to help. Or talk to an understanding friend. In the end, if it makes you feel better, write your ex a letter...just don't get petty, because everyone has faults. Now, I don't know what he did, but be the better person. Focus on your new husband and be happy you have him and are out of your old situation.

Answer 5

This is normal especially if you have found someone who is everything he isn't. Because everytime your finacee does something good you think yeah that is what my butthead ex should have done. It is normal but don't let hate take over your life. It only hurts you and your new relationship don't give your ex that power. Just appreciate mr. right that much more. Some day your ex will probably apologize out of the blue or come and ask what went wrong. Good luck glad you found someone wonderful!!

Answer 6

I'm sure it's normal to feel resentful towards your ex, after all there's got to be a good reason he's your ex. But you did the best thing by leaving him. If you really want to lay into him and have kids with him then I would hold back for their sake.

Answer 7

Yeah, it's kinda crazy. I don't think one can fully engage in their future, or their new relationship, if they're harboring a large amount of hatred/resentment towards the past. It's probably normal to feel this way for a while after the split-up, but it should really be fading away with time, especially being that you have your new relationship. Good luck.

Answer 8

before i got marries to my husband i was with a guy for 5 yrs loved him to death really thought he was the one i would walk to he screwed me over in more ways than one time an time again we departed on bad terms when i met my husband i was still hurt an sortof wanting the prior back but i hated him at the same time so i tok advise from friends n family an went out with my husband an we ended up falling in love about a week after the wedding i sat down an wrote robbie a letter telling him how i felt what he did an where my life had ended up i dropped it in his mailbox the next day an i felt a lot better .. heres why we split he had cheated ton of times i chewed him out the ladt time an he left oh i was hot never thought it was my friend they tok off that very same night an got married i wanted to kill him but i got over it an im married to levi an love my life..

Answer 9

if he didn't get it when you were together he won't get it now either. People like him NEVER see that part of the problem lies with them.
If you really feel the need to purge your anger, write down all the hurtful things he did to you. Then pick a friend to read it to, in order to validate your feelings. Then burn the letter as a symbol of letting go of the hurt and resentment of the past and moving forward into your new, improved future. Not forgiving him is like keeping yourself in prison with the key to freedom in your pocket.
Get it out and let it go, and remember...the best revenge of all is living well. Good luck! :)

Answer 10

Write everything down in detail - leave nothing out. Write it on toilet paper. When you're done, read it out loud to yourself, imagining the SOB sitting in front of you as you do it (you might want to put an empty chair there for easier visualization), and when you're done. flush that history, and let go of the negative emotions with it. Have yourself a party. But move on. Don't take that baggage into your new relationship.