My parents really really hate him and they dont even know we are togethor. Im 5 weeks pregnant and im keeping the baby. My dad has already threatened him. What are my rights? Can i leave?
2006-09-26 04:33:39 · 41 answers · asked by mom2be 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My parents dont like him because of the age difference. My dad has already threatened him and me. They dont know we're together at all. My boyfriend has a very good job and will take care of me. I've known him for years and he isnt going anywhere. Abortion is NOT an option. We are keeping our baby and we are raising it together. I live in Arkansas. The baby (so far as i know) is due on my 18th birthday. Which is May 29. I am at the age of consent so he can not get into trouble for statutory rape. If you have anymore questions just ask.
2006-09-27 04:07:42 · update #1
you need to tell your parents. they are there for you emotionally and financially. After they get over the initial shock and anger... they'll be fine. Your boyfriend needs to take responsibility for this also... You both need to look into community support - who's going to pay medical expenses? hospital/doctor bills.. look into the future and your options. this is a LIFE COMMITMENT.
2006-09-26 04:36:30 · answer #1 · answered by tampico 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have the right to make all decisions regarding yourself and the baby. Yes you can leave, my own daughter did so at 17 1/2 to move in with her boyfriend and they had no baby on the way. In majority of states 16 is age of consent, since you are 17 and no longer a child and close to 18 the authorities will not get involved. The fact a baby is involved most states at this point would help you and your boyfriend make it together to raise the baby there are enough fatherless, broken homes out there and the states realize this. Since you did not just turn 17 the day you posted more than likely you are much closer to your 18th b-day than people realize and just going through all the legal processes to interfere with your right to leave your parents the clock would run out and you'd be 18 anyway. I'd sit down with them and your boyfriend tell them you are expecting then let them know you and your boyfriend as parents of the child intend to stick together and raise him. Does your boyfriend have a good steady job? That would be another plus in your favor. Your parents need to realize your boyfriend is and always will be the father of their grandchild, how they interact with him may have an effect on their relationship with their grandchild. If something ever happened to you your boyfriend would have sole custody of their grandson, just something to think about. No decisions should be made on emotions after meeting everyone should walk away awhile to let things sink in before making a lifetime mistake.
2006-09-26 06:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a very tricky situation because I suspect the reason your parents don't like the father of your child is that he is an adult and you are not yet an adult! So, he should not have had sex with you. In some states he could be arrested for having sex with a minor. It's called statutory rape. SInce he did this, and you are now pregnant, he had better agree to help you raise the child and pay child support. Yes, you can leave home. If you marry, you can legally leave home. Otherwise, in some states, they can have you brough back by the police. I suggest you go to Planned Parenthood in your area. They can tell you your rights, give you prenatal care, and give you options for keeping your child. If you are five weeks pregnant, I hope you are taking pre-natal vitamins, including zinc, and eating right. You are going to be a mother, so you need to do all you can to have a healthy baby.
2006-09-26 04:44:38 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell them before jumping to conclusions on leaving. They may realize that like it or not, they have a grand-child on the way.
Not to be a ***** here, but this is something you have to deal with sometimes when you chose to have sex. You do need to tell them, calmly and rationally, and don't be surprised when they are ready to kill.....wait it out for a little while, if in a month they are still ready to kill...then research your options.
Also, will you be 18 before the baby is born? If so, and you think it is the best situation for you and the baby, several states allow you to marry without parental consent at 18. I know alabama does....
Your boyfriend also needs to be prepared to take responsibility for his actions, and unfortunately, considering that this is stat. rape, that may mean jail time. Once again, it comes with the territory sometimes! This is not the end of the world, its just a big hurdle. good luck!
2006-09-26 08:43:04 · answer #4 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you are a minor and your b/f isn't...he could possibly go to jail (statutory rape) for this matter if your parents push the issue. Leaving wouldn't be the best answer...how are you going to raise a child outside of your parents home? My suggestion is that you tell your parents right away. You are truly into it...now you will have to become an adult, no more parties / fun trips with your friends...etc. Think about maybe adoption instead of keeping it...it's a lot of responsibility that teenagers have no clue of what that even means.
2006-09-26 05:03:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you can leave depends on the laws where you live. Your father will be upset but you have NO choice but to tell your parents. You were foolish to get pregnant but you already know that. I just hope your b/f is financially able to cover your expenses b/c your parents probably won't. As far as you are concerned you need to get to a Dr. and get proper prenatal care and begin to take parenting classes. You are going to need those, believe me. Babies do not come with an owner's manual and neither of you have any experience with newborns. You both need counseling to deal with this so I hope you have a pastor/priest/rabbi you can go to. By the way, get married so they baby will not be a bastard.
2006-09-26 08:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a bad situation, me and my husband got together at those ages, but my parents liked him. You need to tell them now ahead of time, dont wait. Things will only get worse, sit down and calmly talk, if u wait things might get to the point of where theyd want to press charges against him.Let them know what you want , if u love him and u know he will be true to you, take care of you, and raise ur baby , then thats great, but id make sure so he doesnt leave when u need someone the most.
2006-09-26 06:56:56 · answer #7 · answered by nicky l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my now husband and I were pregnant with our first we were the same ages and in the exact same situation as you two are. We waited until we had an ultrasound picture that showed the baby and sat them down and told them that we had a new name for them and it was "grandma" and "grandpa." They were pissed off at first, but nothing changes people like a baby. You have to anticipate their emotions and maybe even anger, but just know that when your baby is born, their hearts will melt. My husband and I are now on our fourth child due in May. It's been 6 1/2 years since that happened for us, but they couldn't love our kids more! It's a hard road, but you can do it and they will come around. Good luck to you and yours!
2006-09-26 04:46:16 · answer #8 · answered by justwondering 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oops. Well, your pregnent. Your a mom. He's a dad. Get married when your 18. I don't know if you can leave. Your parents need to know. They also should support you. Right on for keeping the baby. Note: if your really not ready, you can try adoptions.
Get to the doctor, and get all the recommened exams, whether or not insurance pays for them. As for the 23 year old, he gets a job now!!!!! If he's not ready, he shouldn't have had sex.
Hope this helps.
2006-09-26 14:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by Oliver K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wished I knew how long until you turn 18!! If you tell your parents they have the right to call the cops on him for rape.(in my state) He could get into huge trouble. If you are going to be 18 in the next 2 or 3 months, then you might get away with not telling them. But you need to tell this boyfriend that he is going to have to have a place for you to go. I know dads, and they get pissed. But you need to get medical help, mabey talk to your mom in secret? You need to get on prenatal pills. They however can not make you get an abortion. I am glad to hear that you are keeping your baby. Good luck Hun.
2006-09-26 04:42:24 · answer #10 · answered by sr22racing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something from personal experience. I was in your shoes about 5 years ago and I stayed with the guy everyone hated and fought me to leave and Its like a fog was removed hes an idiot and I was blinded by love. Stop and think about what is right for you and the baby. If you leave is he going to take care of you and if not what are your options. I think you can leave but you have to get emancipated. (but remember your an adult then)
2006-09-26 08:35:47 · answer #11 · answered by Kimberley ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋