recently, we have been arguing and threatening me of divorce, he planned to say...visit his sister in denmarkand he is not taking me and he was looking for a flight, he found one which is 3hours lay over in New york (his ex lives in Canada which he's been talking, chatting with over the internet, by the way he lied to me about her and told me that she only a friend...) he told me also that he will be needing a US passport, he already have a british passport but he's living here now in US. Do you really need to get a US passport to go back to Denmark or this is only his alibi to visit his ex in Canada? His ex still wants him, i know that because I caught them chatting and she offer him about their bet which is a lap dance and my husband responded that he'll just have to save it for a business trip....what am i supposed to do?
2006-09-26 04:23:36 · 16 answers · asked by Licious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how far is Canada from New york?
2006-09-26 04:32:53 · update #1
Sounds like he probally already has, but he is trying to turn things around to make it your fault!
2006-09-26 04:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by Sara_V. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, it seems that the answer is already in front of you. Its not like he did this to make you mad or prove a point...he did it covertly. My bet is that the passport has little to do with it. If he has a layover...its more likely that she will be doing the traveling to meet him. 3 hours gives little time to "fool around" if travel is involved. My guess... a meeting near the airport.
Go with your first instinct. But above all... if you don't want a divorce...STOP saying the things that are building up the walls! Pretty soon..you wont be able to repair the damage. Tell him your true feelings..suggest counseling..because something inside of both of you is causing you to lash out.
Speaking of lashing out.. he could be using your fears against you. You discovered his communication with this woman..something that could be a mere ego boost for him..and something she wants to take further. He may be using the discovery to hurt you....with no intentions of persuit. You never know....and its the unknown that will drive you crazy and send you searching for answers to the "what-if's".
Link to the U.S. State Dept. and information on entry and re-entry when crossing the U.S. Canadian border.
http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1082.html
This site will also supply border crossing points.
I wish you luck on this! I know the fear and pain that you are feeling. I wish I could help you more.. but there is limited info here and even if I had more and calculated the round trip.. the time line...and how long a border crossing would take...the problem would still exist. Stop grasping at straws in desperation..you will only cause yourself stress, anxiety, and pain. Instead, turn your focus to your husband and the real issues that need to be addressed. Don't waste precious time lashing out ... life is too short.
2006-09-26 12:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well one your husband is not slick obviously. Wherever he goes his passport has to get stamped by the country he went to. Why don't you TELL him you are going with him? If he has a problem with it then you already know he's doing him. Honestly, though I don't know how you can still trust him after this. I personally think that you should just leave him. Have you expressed to him that speaking, chatting, or doing anything with his ex or any girl for that matter, bothers you? What was his response? Why did him & his ex break up? How long after they broke up did you two get together and get married? Cheating is unexceptable and if you allow him to get away with it now, then you'll see how miserable you'll be later on when he leaves you for one of his mistresses. You should put your foot down now and you should be the one threatening to leave him. Remember if you get divorced, you get half.
2006-09-26 11:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you already have the answer to your question. If your husband knows the way that you feel and he still decided to go there is nothing that you can do about it. Let him find his own way. I know that it will be hard, but, you have to show him that you are strong. When a man sees that a woman is strong it is hard for him to forget that. They leave, but they always come back. When he decides that he was being a fool and messes up a good thing - then you let him know that he is not worth your time and to go back where he came from.
Good luck! You will make the right decision.
2006-09-26 12:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by Bubbles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it does sound like they are planning something. And even if they are not the conversations that they are having are inappropriate. First you want to think is your relationship still worth salvaging? If his heart is truly with someone else or somewhere else than it is in your hearts best interest to just let him go. If not...... You may want to barge in on one of their heated conversations and call the ex on her inappropriate ways of talking to your husband. remember she is an ex for a reason. or you may try confronting your husband telling him how this whole situation is making you feel. Maybe your relationship (sex life) may need some tuning up....so try new things spice it up....if he is in the same old routine day in and day out he will get tired and start searching for new and what he may percieve to be (but he is mistaken) better things. but Remember you should never feel like you have to be or act like a different person to have your husband love and respect you.
2006-09-26 11:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Canada is just over the boarder from New York. He might not be coming back. He sounds like a jerk. Do you want to stay with him or move on and find someone better??? Decide what you want and go for it.
2006-09-26 11:54:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I gave "mrsnapalm" a thumbs-up, but one detail needs to be changed: Burn his clothes BEFORE filing divorce papers. Before filing, they are community property; after, they become separate property. :-)
He's cheating and lying and you already know it. I'm sorry. I've been there. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Move forward before he takes more years and throws them out the window.
2006-09-26 11:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just confront him abt ur fears. If he still insist of threatening u for a divorce, u wait until he leaves and file for a divorce......seems to me that he has no respect for u nor ur marriage.
2006-09-26 11:35:08 · answer #8 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he leaves for his trip, then file for divorce, change the locks and burn all his clothes.
2006-09-26 11:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
confront him about it. It sounds like there is a good posibility that he is moving toward cheating if he already hasnt.
2006-09-26 11:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by doyalikethatdaddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋