my daughter which is his grand-daughter, my daughter's 2 baby boys which are his great-grandsons, or my sister but he will talk to me every now and then. This is only since my Mom died. He now has a lady friend (girlfriend) that he has been seeing for over a year. He does all kinds of things with her and her family. What do you think the problem is? I have asked him and he says there is no problem, its just that he has a new life now.
2006-09-26 04:20:50 · 8 answers · asked by Kim M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would explain to him how much this is hurting you and the rest of your family. Explain to him that in the long run it will hurt him too. Tell him that you don't want it to be that way and that you are sure that your mom wouldn't want it this way either. Maybe you should talk to his lady friend about it and ask her what she thinks the problem is. If after talking to him about everything he continues this behavior then I would just do the same to him that he is doing to you. Maybe then he will get the point and realize that you and yours are his family too. I wish you the best of luck with this.
2006-09-26 05:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by Maggie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have basically the same problem. My mom died 7 years ago. My Dad was lonely so he started dating this "lady" friend, eventually they got married. Since then she has my Dad wrapped around her finger. I was homeless, my Dad told me he wanted to help but he had to make her happy too, so in other words he couldn't help because of her. they both favor my older sister, but she has a home, a good job, and a real butt kisser. Maybe this lady friend of your Dads has him wrapped around her finger, and tells him what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, even if it means ruining his relationship's with his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Maybe you could ask him if his new life doesn't include people who've been there when he needed them the most.
2006-09-26 04:36:53 · answer #2 · answered by sandnickel2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that he's a jerk. Some people are just like that and there really isn't anything you can do about it. If he doesn't want any contact, then don't give it to him. You and your family will be much better off in the long run if you just disown him and be done with it. Trying to get him to care will only hurt you.
2006-09-26 04:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by Zorki 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You, your daughter and her sons all need to keep sending him picutres of the things they are involved in, have the young ones send him hand written letters and tell him that they love him, they miss him, have them all call him on his birthday, fathers day, Christmas, Thanksgiving and Veteran's day if he is a vet... He needs to see that regardless of how he acts and how little he gives to them, they still love and respect him for who he is. My dad was doing the same thing and we never quit...finally...after many years, he bought his own plane ticket and came to see us and he ended up extending his stay for two months he was having such a wonderful time getting to know his grand-kids. He cried the day he had to leave and said, "Son I am so sorry I have missed so much..." He died two months later from a stroke, but I know he died much richer because we never gave up on him. When I went with my brother to clean out his house, every picture, letter and drawing we had sent to him was displayed someplace in his house... I know it mattered...
2006-09-26 04:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to work out and communicate consisting of your lifeless mom and father on your desires characterize your fears of dropping them or your way of coping with the loss. you're making use of your dream as a final probability to declare your very final sturdy-byes to them.
2016-10-18 00:19:32 · answer #5 · answered by hosford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has his priorities messed up. Sit down and talk with him about it, and tell him how you really feel. Sometimes we grieve a little to much and try to hide our real feelings. sometimes we avoid our own family so the pain dosent hurt as bad. Just sit down and speak with him, tell him how u really feel.
2006-09-26 04:28:54 · answer #6 · answered by cooterhead1964 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've been through several lost for the 2 years. and believe me, it's not easy. until now, it's hard for me to go to my dad's, my grandma's, and my aunt's grave. it's easier to just forget than to live with. you know what i mean? it's easier for me to forget about the lost than to live with it. it drive me away from everthing that related to them, including my mom, my sister and my brother. but, one day, i realised that it's not a dream, they will never come back and that's when the pain started to grow so much that i need my family to support me. so in my oppinion, may be it's just a way for your dad to grieve. but he can't turn back forever. one day he's gonna realise it and need you to support him. just be patient and be tough ok! :)
2006-09-26 04:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by mbagus_st 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me that he misses ur mother and seeing u, and the rest of ur family seems to remind him of what he lost and he desperatly needs a wife that he is missing which is why he derives away from his previous family. that is the problem
2006-09-26 04:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋