I need help with adopting my step-son & child support.?

Question

Ok, I've been with my wife & her son since he was 4 years old. She left his abusive father when he was an infant, so he has never known his "real" Dad. She was collecting child support fron him, but he stopped paying it. She has no idea where he is, or how to find him. He owes well over $20,000 and it continues to grow. She has 2 state angienies working on this. Her son has grown to call me Dad, and I love this kid to death. He just turned 11 and started at a new school. When he came home the other day, he said some kids wondered why he had different last name than his Mom & "Dad". I told him if wanted the same last name as me, I would have to adopt him. He is all for the idea. My questions are: 1. Where do I start the adoption process, and 2. How will this affect the past due child support? We no longer need/want the continued monthly payments, just the back past due owed. We currently live in New Jersey. Thanks for your help.

Reread the question snvffy, my last statement is We currently live in New Jersey. Thanks to all others for thier answers.

Answer 1

Hi, I'd really like to help you with this one.
Firstly, I know nothing about how adopting your wife's child could affect claiming the child support that the "real" father owes. However, because that is money he OWES from the past, it shouldn't affect it. I am almost completely sure it won't, only that I can't support this with any legal piece of info. Still, I found these websites that should be able to help you:

http://www.njarch.org/
This is the New Jersey Adoption Resource Centre

http://adoption.about.com/od/firststeps/index.htm?terms=steps+adoption
This is About.com on adoption

Alternatively for some information, you could call the New Jersey state attorneys for free legal advise. I wouldn't know much about it coz Im in the uk now, but I used to work for the US and 911 and information and those kinds of things. I learned that there's loads of free advise lines from the government. Also, go see a social worker.

Also see:

http://www.chsofnj.org/pages/services.html
[The children's home society]

http://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dyfs/hotlines.html
[Division of Youth and family services]

http://www.state.nj.us/dcf/adoption/
State of New Jersey Department of Children and Families

http://new-jersey.adoption.com/
Adoption.com - this one's really good. its for NJ too.

http://adopting.adoption.com/child/review-of-qualification-requirements-for-prospective-adoptive-parents.html
requirements for adopting

1-800-99-ADOPT
Adoption hotline

Again, all this is for New Jersey

Hope this helped! Loads of luck with thats and god bless ur family!!!

Answer 2

first, you have to find the biological father and he has to appear in court to give up his parental rights.-if he chooses. he may want to seek visitation. visitation and child support are two seperate things. just because he is late or behind on his child support the courts will still enact an order for visitation. this may complicate things and cause tramendous stress on your family. you will then have to deal with telling your 12 year old that his real father wants to see him. but if he does give up his parental rights and you adopt him he will no longer be responsible for him you will. which will be nothing new to you because you have been doing it all this time anyway. go to www.supportkids.com, they have an awsome track record on finding these guys-even better than the state. you can also call your local juvenile and domestic court and ask to speak to the clerk and he or she will be able to explain the process for your state and help you get started. in rare cases-and I have only seen a few come through my court- some courts place an add in the local paper specifying that a person is being looked for and the person has a certain amount of time to respond. if no response is heard the case goes on w/out them. good luck

Answer 3

The bio dad needs to be served with the papers letting him know that he no longer has any financial obligation other than paying what he owes but nothing will be added and that he no longer has rights to the child and then you adopt your son. My "step-dad" raised me... he is my dad... and he is a great dad. I am lucky that I have him. Good luck... it's nice to see a dad who really wants to be a dad. If this doesn't work... I think your son can still legally change his name.

Answer 4

I don't know how it works in NJ but if you can find him he might rather give up parental rights to this child and be cleared of the back support. Kudos to you for taking this child in and loving him. Too bad there are not more men like you in this world. I'd start by contacting an attorney. Good luck!

Answer 5

Screw the past due and the future. Adopt the kid and just be his dad. The money doesn't mean jack to him anyway. All he needs is a dad. I always wanted a dad...finally got one when I was 12! The money never meant anything to me. Isn't it HIS feelings that matter. Just get the lousy sperm donner out of his life once and for all.

Answer 6

You sound like a great father so I will be nice in my answer. You don't even tell us what state you are in. WHY would you bring this purely legal question to Y!A? You need a lawyer pure and simple.