11 mths old!?

Question

My friend recently had a threat form another mom to have the state called on her because her 11mth old baby boy,Connor,is only 17lbs. He is a small baby. He doesnt eat much but beleive me..he has everything he could need. Hes lucky to be born to a family with money. Shes always worried that people are talking and saying bad stuff and that the state really WILL come!!! what do I tell her!!??

Answer 1

Okay, my child weighed 12 pounds at a year old.

To put those comments to rest, she needs to go to the pediatrician, tell him or her of the social comments and concern, and get some guidance about how to address these. If the child is growing normally, and is where he belongs on the growth chart, she can just say to the other "mom", and I use the term loosely, that the pediatrician says all is A-OK. If this other "mom" is using this as some sort of vendetta for something else, she needs to be informed that false reporting is a crime.

Answer 2

Well, you're close to the situation, do you think her baby is malnourished? Does her child's pediatrician? Even if someone called child protective services about such a thing, they wouldn't automatically take the child from her. They may want a medical consult if her child is underweight but they DO know how to look for markers of neglect and aren't going to automatically take her baby away because he's not a chubby, roly-poly thing.

Tell her to keep to her own business, go on about her life, take her child to a pediatrician if she's worried, get a doctor's opinion on her child's health. If it's been a while since his last checkup, and he truly is an unnaturally thin baby, there could be a medical reason for that which would be addressed.

Finally, some people can't resist being f-wits. It is only that other mother's opinion that a child that isn't her own looks underfed. She's only the authority on her own child, nothing more. She can call, but she likely won't get the result she's looking for. If it would make your friend feel vindicated, she can give this woman a copy of the doctor's determination and tell the woman that if she continues to make threats of any sort to her, she'll file a harrassment report, followed by a restraining order. (I never have liked nosy busybodies.).

Answer 3

Tell her not to worry about it. My 3 years old is only 24 pounds and the doctors said she is healthy and there is nothing wrong with her she's just small. I had the state here for other reasons and they were not concerned about it at all they just wanted to make sure my ex was gone for good. People will always say he is to small and try to give her advice as to how to fatten him up. That's just how people are. I have people stop me in the malls all the time. As long as her doctor has no concerns she shouldn't either. The state will simply ask the doctor if everything is all right and the case will be dropped. It will also help her in the sense that if anyone else calls they won't bother investigating and if this other mom keeps calling they will charge her for making false reports.

Answer 4

that other mom needs to mind her own business. some babies are small, some are big, but size does NOT make one baby healthier than another. My daughter was only 17 lbs at 11 months too, she ate like a bird, still does actually, but she is healthy. the state will not take her baby away because he is small. Now if he isnt reaching most other milestones that babies his age are reaching then there may be a problem, but its not necessarily her fault. tell your friend that she is doing the best that she can, her baby is fine, and dont worry about what other people think. some babies are just small.

Answer 5

I get so tired of people who feel they need to make comments about other people's children, especially weight issues. My daughter is 12 months and weighs 20 lbs. Pretty average. I have so many people come up to me and say I need to feed her more, that she is so tiny, etc. This comes from people with babies who are 30+ lbs at 12 months (believe me, I feel sorry for these babies but I don't go around criticizing the parents for overfeeding their babies or contributing to them being lazy -- it's none of my business). What they don't understand is my daugher eats like a horse but is also extremely active. She has been walking since 9 months and doesn't sit still. Also, she doesn't eat any junk food. She loves food, especially fresh fruit and veggies. When they push the issue I tell them my daughter is perfect, just as God intended her to be. Her growth pattern has been very consistent, meaning each check-up she is right on the same curve as the previous check-up, staying in the same percentile. That is what pediatricians like to see. They don't like to see huge jumps in weight.

As long as her baby is happy, healthy, and taken care of there is nothing that the state can do.

Answer 6

I can relate to this question totally. When I had my little girl the ladies at wic were constantly on my butt about her weight. It bothered me like I wasn't doing the right thing and neglecting my child. I took her to her pediatrician and he said she was fine. I explained how these women were to me and he said he would write them a letter. He stated some kids are just petite and will catch up to the typical chart standards in time. He also stated that with me as her mother only being 5'ft and her dad 6'5 she will end up somewhere in between. As long as your friend knows she is doing the right thing and doctors have ruled out any serious problems then I would continue doing what she has been doing. People are so eager to point the finger and make accusations without knowing the facts. It's sad but true. My daughter is now 5 and just started kindergarten (she weighs about 33 lbs) and is the smallest in her class. But let me tell you..this doesn't keep her from doing what all the other kids are doing...whether it be running, jumping or playing on the monkey bars and trying to swing from one bar to the other. If she misses a bar a drops/falls she will get back up and do it again...she now can go about 1/2 way. This makes me proud as a parent to see that she is determained to keep up with the rest of them. So...tell your friend and let her know she is a great mom. Some kids take a little longer to catch up with the rest of them. I recall my daughter disliked meat, maybe it was the texture or something. I knew in time she would adjust to it and she did. No kid is going to starve to death. She now eats like a horse and has her dads metabolism (lucky girl..*L*) but skinny and tiny as can be. She wears between a 3-4T some 5's but that ok..she is healthy and happy and thats what is important! Tell your friend I said good luck and let all the "talk" just go in one ear and out the other. And as for those know it all women from the wic office...after I confimed verbally and orally with my childs doc. I quite going...you can't give me enough free milk and cheese for all the crap they put me through mentally. And this was the best choice I made as a parent.

Answer 7

If she has her Pediatrician to back her up in court she has nothing to worry about. It's a shame now days how people have to worry about how they are taking care of their own children. However I do agree that child beaters and parents that neglect their children should pay the price. The best thing for your friend to do is explain her fears to her baby's Pediatrician. He/She will either reassure her of her innocence or will do something about her baby's weight (if there is indeed a problem). This will be on the Baby's record that the Mother cared enough to confront the Dr. No Dr. wants to be called into court with a bad decision and face a law suit against them for the wrong diagnosis or advice to a patient.

Answer 8

Even if the state did come (they would need a lot more than one complaint) they would see that the child is being taken care of and leave it at that. I see kids all the time without jackets in winter, smoking at the park alone at age 6, and worse and they are still with their parents. I wouldn't worry too much about having a skinny child! Other parents just like to judge, and who cares what they say!

Answer 9

My son is 17 months and only weights 19 lbs. He is an active baby and it is well fed, her pediatrician should be able to to tell her that, as long as the baby is not showing signs of abuse or sickness.
That other peson should just mind her own business, as long as the baby eats and she has food in the house for the baby she has nothing to worry about.
Not all kids are the same, besides who said that being a fat or chubby baby makes them healthy? That is a huge misconception.

Answer 10

As long as the babies Doctor has no concerns then she shouldn't worry about it. If the other mother calls the state and launch an investigation, they will contact the doctor. If the doctor says there are no problems then the case will be closed and labeled as unfounded.

Tell her not to worry. The state doesn't take children without a thorough investigation.