what are the things you should do for your wife gain back trust for you after several lies and having an afair

Answer 1

Be patient. You can't trick her into trusting you again, it will come with time, and you have to earn it, so no more lies or affairs.

Answer 2

You can well make a huge effort and take on a lot of great advice to work things out, even regain her trust. However, I'm sorry to be the more pessimistic one but at some point in the future she could decide she does want to end the marriage because her feelings has changed for you, she might well trust you and appreciate your effort and hard work put into your relationship but even for some people, that might never enough and her feelings has changed for you.
It's more a question about wither the love and affection can be brought back again to a level that can keep the marriage together and be maintained in the longer term.

Good luck to you both I hope things work out for you. Have faith.

Answer 3

I think it's really awesome that you want to gain her trust. But be ready for a long haul. As for me once the trust is gone it takes a longggg time to get it back. But that's me. You need to keep it mind that just because we forgive we never forget. That image of you taking something sacred that was suppose to be between you two and you went and shared that with someone else will always be in the back of her mind. Call her during the day to say I love you, if there are events or parties take her with you and pay attention to her. Don't lie to her and if your telling her the truth do what you have to show that it's the truth. Those are just some things you can do. Best of Luck to you.

Answer 4

The one true path to personal accountability. Firstly you should stand on your head and piss in your mouth. Secondly you should engage in some sort of self mutilation, i.e. getting the inside of your eyelids tatooed w/ the words "liar", "moral whore", "jerk off", so that every time you close your eyes you can remember what a scumbag you are. Thirdly you should do something so that you get thrown into prison and get gang raped for a few yrs. so that when you come out you will have the proper respect and admiration for some goddess that probably wont give you the time of day anyways.
But we shouldn't even be having this conversation should we? If your Wife had a shred of self respect, she would back over you in the driveway and leave you to bleed to death w/ your pathetic, desperate life.
Peace and prosperity, Rik

Answer 5

First, watch out for her revenge, because after she's sad she'll get very angry. Most importantly allow her a lot of freedom though, if you can balance that equation she will find her harmony while being able to talk to you about the knife in her back. She won't find peace until she can really open up to you about how she feels, let her, that's a big step, so you now must be responsive and understanding. Say you are sorry and often enough, but don't roll on the ground about it. Think "Being mature at a time where I once wasn't or couldn't."

Answer 6

Depending how long you have been together depends on how long it will take. If you have been together for a long time and she has only just found out about all of the lies now then it will take a long time of being very patient. Don't try and buy her presents because they are material and they dont work. Try exlpaining your feelings for her in a letter and explain why you did what you did then leave her alone. That will then give her time to think about what you did and why and she may possibly get her head round it. But still be prepared for the worst.

Answer 7

i doubt u deserve forgiveness, why would u or any man hurt the women u love just cos someone else hands it on a plate ? u should remember how much u loved her the day u got married and more importantly how would u feel if she'd done it to u ? before u try for forgiveness are u sure ur never going to hurt her in that way again ? can u resist temptation ? if yes then there's not much u can do but give it time, she has to go threw the motions ... hurt anger humiliation then anger lol but just keep letting her no how sorry u are and that it will never happen again and she means more to u than anything in this world ! u have to say it even if you've said it ten times already that day. eventually she will "begin" to forgive.. good luck you've got a long road ahead but hey u love her right so it don't matter ????

Answer 8

stop lieing,be where ever your supposed to be at what ever time,be honest and up front why you had an affair in the first place.No more secrets ever ,she will be suspisious of every little thing that you do now,so you will have to be patient with her.Saying how sorry you are will make no difference,the way she feels now will be sick to her stomach and the thoughts going around in her head will be of you and that other woman .I hope that you have distanced yourself from that other woman and totally erased her from your life.Ask your wife if she would like a holiday tell her it will be the first step to new beginings for you both,and even if you can move homes.It will take a long time for her to get over this its easy to forgive but you can never forget.

Answer 9

If you are serious about gaining her trust again and will not break that trust again you have to start over, be transparent, tell the truth at all times, love her, support her and make her know how sorry you are and how serious you mean this. It will take time but it will build back again if you both want it to. If you really mean well then good luck to you.

Answer 10

I really don't know if it would work for me to ever trust you again, I think I would rather be asked if it was ok by my husband for him to have an affair, at least I would have a choice as to wether I slept with him or not whilst he was seeing the other woman, I trust you slept with both wife and lover?? If it was me, first you would have to attend STD clinic to prove to me you were clean and not picked up nasty disease, 2nd you would have to convince me by the hour that you are where you say you are 3rd you would have to convince me you loved me at every opportunity 4th I would want to meet and talk to the other woman to see if what you have told me is true, or if you fed her some sob story like 'my wife won't sleep with me' I doubt any man would go to these lengths to keep me so it would be split time and his loss.

Answer 11

you will need to be reassuring for a very long time, unless she is one of those very extinct few women who bounce back easily.

i don't know her,so i would be guessing a bit . if it was me , I would want to know why you did it in the first place .

suggest going to couples counselling,as not many men are willing to do so . this would show a desire to solve any problems . be a man and accept that the counsellor will be probing into a side of you that you might not want to show. ask her what she expects from you as you are not a mind reader, but do want to diminsh her heartache as soon as possible.

when things start to look normal again, do not be surprised if she brings up the old stuff, it will be from insecurity. be patient and you can win her heart back again, but be sure that,that is what you want.