Me and my partner have been together for nearly 5yrs and have just bought a house. We are both in stable jobs and we both are starting to feel broody. We both want a baby but both of us are too scared for me to come off the pill and start trying. Do you think it is the right time? Did anyone come to a joint decision with their partner or just took the plunge?
2006-09-26 04:00:15 · 27 answers · asked by smudge 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Our first baby was a bit of a surprise and we decided to have the second one quite soon after so that they could grow up together.
I don't really think that there is a right time. It is whatever's best for you. You sound as if you have a really stable and loving relationship to bring a baby into the world. My husband and I thought the same and despite some little hiccoughs along the way, wouldn't now change a thing. Our girls are 13 and 11 and the best things we ever, ever did.
I do have a friend though who had a baby three years into a relationship thinking that it would be roses round the door and all little fluffy bunny-wunnies. She has suffered with post natal depression and says that if she had only known how much her life would change, she would never have had her.
Unless your partner is going to be a house husband, the person whose life is going to change most significantly is yours. You will need to have some time off work, if you don't decide to give up completely, and this may well lead to a loss in social life, friendships, personal time, sports, etc, etc as well as, of course, reduced income whereas your partner will carry on as normal and there will just be an extra small person indoors when he gets back home!
Perhaps spend some time with family/friends who have children and gather as much info as you can about what it will mean for you personally and as a couple. There are also some great ante-natal classes available or your doctor's surgery could put you in touch with a health visitor who could advise. I think that it is something that you need to go into with your eyes as wide open as possible.
My children are the most beautiful, witty, gorgeous, intelligent, funny people and I love every minute that I am with them. Good luck, whatever you decide.
2006-09-26 04:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both to scared to come of the pill and start trying for a baby, then I would say now is not the right time.
If you are both brudy and feel the yearning for a baby, then you half way there. But you must both be certain and ready to commit to lifetime if you do come off the pill!
Good luck with whatever choices you make, it sounds like you both would be wonderful parents with good jobs and a family home.
2006-09-26 08:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant last August.I was married for 10 yrs,but felt scared abt having babies.Never thought abt that.Me and my husband was both unstable at that time when we got pregnant.Then we talked with our relatives to make decision.My pregnancy was an accident.thats why we were confused abt keeping the baby.
Then all the people advised us,there is no perfect time to have a baby.evrytime u will think,i am not stable enough to have my baby now.whenever u will be pregnant,there will be somethg left to be finishd.So,u will think i am not ready.i dont have this,i dont have that...bla bla bla.....
They also said that u may reject the baby now,bcz u r thinking u r not ready.but baby is the gift of GOd.May be u wont be pregnant when u will think, u r ready now.
Then we made decision,and kept my baby.My baby is now 6 months old.
And believe me, this is the best gift from GOD.Evry problems runs away....God take care of everythg.
So,i think,...my this practical experiance can help u to make decision.
2006-09-26 08:20:18 · answer #3 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people say there is never a right time but thats nonsense, the right time is when you both love each other, have a stable relationship and most of all can give the baby all the love and attention it deserves. Dont worry about money as you will always find a way if you are good people and by the sounds of it you are. The right time is simply when you both feel ready, forget circumstances as life will find a way....best of luck!
2006-09-26 04:04:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, we both fell madly in love with each other and threw caution to the wind - I ended up getting pregnant when we both thought neither of us could have kids.
We now have an adorable two year old, but believe me its been the hardest ever adjustment that both of us have had to deal with. On one hand, we both kind of regret not having enough time 'to ourselves' before she came along, but on the other hand, I think we have grown closer as a result of having to put someone else first, rather than ourselves.
It sounds to me like you are a lovely, sensible couple who will make wonderful and caring parents. You have had a good amount of time together. You know each others flaws pretty well by now I imagine and maybe the NEXT BEST THING TO DO is start swotting up on just how much your life will change when a babba comes along - prepare yourself for the shock of your life i.e. your life will no longer be your own, but it can be a really positive, amazing thing.
You just need to plan 'all events', set your intentions for child care out, plan in the possibilities that you will feel quite differently when the wee one comes along (i.e. post natal depression for example - and in my case I realised that I was not a 'natural mother of babies' but am finding it easier as my little girl gets bigger and we have more interaction)
Then get on with the baby making. Good luck!
2006-09-26 09:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by zuffin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never really a right time!
If you love your partner and he loves you then go for it.
You can't really choose when to fall pregnant , it really is a matter of practising and alot of good luck.
No one else can make this decision for you because once the baby is there you are the people who have to take care of it.
Think very carefully before taking the plunge as birth is a big responsibility which alot of people in our society don't realise.
I wanted a baby for quite a long time and when I met my partner I knew it was the right time with the perfect person.
7 years later and with a wonderful boy we are as happy with our decision as we were when my pregnancy was announced.
Good Luck as a baby can bring alot of love and joy to any family!
2006-09-26 04:19:31 · answer #6 · answered by EVA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOW... the right time is always NOW. I had my first baby almost 5 years ago, and wasn't sure when was the right time to have the second one. I was working, just started a new project and my husband has an stable job. Last November we decided that if we kept waiting for the "right time", it might never come... my baby girl was born two months ago and my life is better than ever...You'll always have new projects, new things coming your way, you have to live your life as if today was the last day... good luck!
2006-09-26 04:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by Ale 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We decided to go off the pill together. There is always reasons to wait. You both sound committed. Discuss parenting, daycare, education,extended family, values, religion, how you see your children raised and really get your partners opinion.How are you going to fulfil financial obligations once the child arrives? JUMP, only when you are both on the same page. (Successful Mom of 3)
2006-09-26 04:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Kim S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi
There will never be a time you'll both feel is 100% right, so bite the bullet and go for it! Bare in mind if you're on the pill it can take a year for your fertility to sort itself out so stay patient if that's the case for you.
All the best!
2006-09-26 04:02:42 · answer #9 · answered by DemonicaB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is purely my personal point of view and only one opinion of many. My husband and I bought a house, had decent jobs and decided to wait until we'd have a bit of fun and then try for our children. To cut the story short we have been together for 14 years and have been trying to conceive for 7 (had the tests, done the ivf, got the t-shirt) and nothing. Oh, how we wished we hadn't waited!!
Just my personal story. But these things do happen........
2006-09-26 06:06:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋