And you just found out would you stay married to her ?And if so what would you do to prevent it from happen again?
2006-09-26 03:21:32 · 26 answers · asked by none 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk with her to determine why she cheated... and get across your point as to how you feel with trust and respect now, and how you'd react if it should happen while you're married.
2006-09-26 03:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends on the situation. Cheating in marriage is a no brainer. Its wrong. But did she really cheat on you while you were dating? Maybe she wasn't as committed to the relationship as you may have been at that time. It is hard to determine at what level the relationship is while dating. It is not uncommon for two people to not be into a relationship at the same level. So that will have to be discussed with her. But if she cheats on you while married then there is a real problem. I am curious to know how you found out too. Did she tell you about it or did you discover it by other means? If she told you then she maybe secure enough in how she feels about you now to tell you. You need to talk this on over with her. Also how long ago was it? Have you been married for 6 months or 10 years? I would think if it has been a long time then why throw away a solid marriage on something that occuried in the past that long ago. You need to talk this one over with her. How she responds will tell you the next step to take in your relationship.
2006-09-26 10:55:12 · answer #2 · answered by sdo3lg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found out that my wife cheated on me before marriage. I was angry as hell for awhile but then through time it worked out and ive never been uptight about her again. Its one of those things...it shouldnt have happened but if youve been married some time its kind of silly to be judgemental about something so far in the past. There is nothing you can do to prevent it from happening again other than to show her how much you care for her and love her. Its all just something you must come to peace with or it will eat you up inside and wouldnt that be stupid when things are good. Best of luck and remember to just move on...for the good of both of you.
2006-09-26 11:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by Johnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear friend,
If you are married to her, it would be better to forget her past. Do not see behind the mirror. How can you say that she cheated you. She was simply leading a life and you were not in her life at that time. Life is too short for love, and by the time we understand it, we come to know that the life has passed. So as far as your problem is concerned what you can do is to find out and ascertain whether it may happen in future or not. What is her nature. Does she get irritate and quarrels or is simple one. So many things to watch and thereafter you have to decide. The criteria is simple if (1) she loves you (2) she does not indulge in quarrel frequently (3) She does not tell a lie (4) and loves your kith and kins, you should happily continue with your life.
2006-09-26 10:34:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it depends on if you was really together or splint at the time.
Sometimes couples go through things, they make mistakes it happens. That is how we learn what we really want.
Has she ever given you any reason to think it could happen again?
Ask yourself why she done it in the first place? Bet you helped in it some how & didn't even know it.
People don't just cheat for no reason, their is always a reason. The rush, thrill, low self esteam,sex addict, ect..
Maybe she even thought you didn't want her.
It was before marriage. Why does it matter now?
To prevent it from happening again, be their for her so she can be their for you. Be honest with each other. If you don't know what she wants ask her. Spend time with each other. Go out with each other, dinner, movies, walks, ect... What ever you do don't ever make her feel like she is their just for a house maid and sex partner.
2006-09-26 10:43:03 · answer #5 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot prevent that something like that happened again...It must be a hard experience for you to found out the cheating....if you love her and she has should you that she changes give her the chance don't ruin your marriage........if woman can forgive why not the guys.
2006-09-26 10:29:09 · answer #6 · answered by haki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem actually, my husband cheated on me on our 8 year long distance relationship and I found out only on the day we got married. He actually dated around, kept his gates open while I waited for him stupidly. It was hard and I almost called quits, I hated everything and I regretted marrying him, fought so hard, left a couple of times, but in the end, he asked me back every one of those times, stayed on and I am glad I did. I have given him some parameters that he has to follow, made him write a written promise that if he ever do it again, I will claim his assets and so forth. And I want him to prove his sincerity to me. We fought over this for over a year and we just resolved it recently. You see, for me, I have given him some credit bec of his being honest about it. Though by telling me on our wedding night is quite too late and I feel deprived of my right to choose, still, with all my requirements, it is really something else for him to be put to such tests, and I have proven that he loves me all the time and will never do it again. We all deserve a second chance. Let the past ne the past, we all have our pasts, right?
2006-09-26 10:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by Nic Nic 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Heck no I wouldn't stay married. She's bound to do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater. How can you have a good marriage if one doesn't trust the other? Trust and being faithful is a big big thing in marriage. Good luck and I hoped this helped.
2006-09-26 10:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have only been with my boyfriend a year n a bit he cheated on me and i forgave him, i understand wat a shock it must have been. But marriage is a bit more than what i have so i would forgive, but u r who u r and only u can answer the question ur asking, can u forgive her and move on? afterall it was before u were married not that this is any excuse but has she done it since u have been married? u cant tprevent it you just have to trust her and if she does it again then thats wen u no to leave her!
2006-09-26 10:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well that depends on how many times you have cheated on her as well Men think it is OK to go to a bachelors party and have sex the week before getting married i think it is disgusting and never had one for my wedding think about it before you crusifi her be honest with yourself and is she was the one to tell you about that is even better forget about the past and look forward to the future if you love her. Michael
2006-09-26 10:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by Michael M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a very low tolerance for a cheater. It really depends on the situation. How long have you been married and how did you find out. Are you in a happy marriage? My feelings on cheaters are once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-09-26 10:25:38 · answer #11 · answered by hardtobestepmom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋