My fiance and I are having problems. The age differance kind of bothers me but What he did to me bothers me more. He is in a band and Saturday he went to play and I did't go with him. When he came home the next morning he told me that he had called barb(his Ex) to come give him a ride. He also told me that he has spoken with her 2 or 3 other times. This really bothers me. Last night he said he had made up his mind and he wants to be with me and make it work. He says that he called her previsiously to vent about us. How can I trust he won't do it again??? Very Confused
2006-09-26 03:19:03 · 24 answers · asked by dazedandconfused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The age difference at this point in your lives really shouldn't make a difference. Lifestyles could though. He is your fiancee he should never discuss your relationship with another woman much less an EX. This is a bad sign. Red Flag this relationship honey. Give him back the ring. Be glad that you aren't married he will always go running to someone else rather than deal with you responsibly. Sorry that it will cause you pain but in the long run you will be better off. The time to make up his mind and be with you was prior to proposing. Don't be surprised if he got what he wanted off of Barb and now has a guilty conscience and is trying to put you at ease so that you won't question it.
2006-09-26 04:22:47 · answer #1 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing you have to ask yourself is do you trust him. Nobody can tell how you should feel, or whether or not those feelings are wrong, except yourself. Now with the age difference he may have very well confided in his friend barb about you because he may be concerned about the age, Or he could have had a fling with barb before deciding to commit with you. No one really knows. But the question you should ask yourself is do you believe his story, and does your gut tell you that this relationship can work despite the age difference, or the possible mishap of infidelity. If you think it can, then proceed with your plans. But if you doubt, which I think you do just by asking this question, then listen to your gut.Everyone else can offer advice, but does not have to live with the consequences of the choices you make. You have to walk that path. I wish you well
2006-09-26 03:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by fryedaddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw that this is a bad thing and at the very least you better put the brakes on your wedding there is no reason to get ahead of yourself if you are engaged and he's having second thoughts Did he propose to you? because if he did and is now thinking this way then he doesn't understand what marriage is you cannot go through with it till he does you are both too old to mess up a good ten years. All I am saying is he has to be sure also and this is not the last yo have seen of this ex either I would bet on it.
2006-09-26 03:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all why didn't he call you for a ride? Who calls their ex to give them a ride anyway? The age difference shouldn't make a difference but the mistrust would. You can't trust that he won't do it again because you can't babysit him 24/7. He shouldn't have been talking to her about any problem that you guys have that should have been between you and him. Not him and his ex.
2006-09-26 03:24:07 · answer #4 · answered by Midnight Blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys in the band are usually a red flag and a dating no-no, simply because they tend to sleep around. The age difference isn't a big deal, I'm married and 28 - hubby is 36 - and we get along great. Your partner sounds like he's still hooked on his ex, and she's like a groupie - dropping everything to hang out with him. My guess is they're still sleeping together. Leave him and move on to find someone worthy.
2006-09-26 03:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship works regardless of age difference. It has more to do with compatibility, respect, trust and love....no amount of ex-es can come in between if both of you want to be with each other. Age is no barrier for sure!
2006-09-26 03:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sue_5090 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your problems with this doesn't really have to do with age as much as trust. As far as the age difference thing, sure that would work, but it sounds like ya'll have deeper issuses. Trust is a major thing in any relationship, it doesn't matter what age you are.
2006-09-26 03:23:02 · answer #7 · answered by heaven o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered that he may be cheating on you with his ex?
The issue is not about trust. It's about him and whether there is more going on between him and Barb...
It's hard to face up to reality but sometimes we just really need to
see what we don't want to.
2006-09-26 03:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by Desert Rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a problem with him just talking to people YOU have a confidence problem. They were married and I'm sure there is still a level of trust between them. If he says he has chosen you, he has chosen YOU. Men don't use double-speak with stuff like this.
2006-09-26 03:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by Mike R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the age factor isn't the problem. the trust factor isn't the problem. the communication is the problem. if it bothers you and he loves you then he'll stop. you aren't being unreasonable on this. you feel insecure about his relationship with his ex. if he leaves her alone then great...if he can't then you may need move on. talk to him and tell him how much it bothers you.
2006-09-26 03:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by stlouisrams1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋