I’ve just got off the phone to a girl I really liked after listening to her telling me how happy she is with her new man. I know I should be happy that she’s happy, so why do I feel so resentful? The words “oh, that’s so wonderful” taste so bitter. Now I’m berating myself for being such a sore loser and wish I could genuinely be happy she’s so much in love.
Rant over – I sound like I’m 14 years old again – pity I’m 29.
2006-09-26 03:12:37 · 26 answers · asked by John Conway 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Its human nature and a vicious cycle for our brain to replay bad thoughts (that bring us down) over and over like a tape recorder. Its torment. The best thing that you can do is fight these thoughts. As soon as you find yourself thinking them then think of something else. Have a back up thought. Think of that back up thought over and over. Think of movies that you like. Music that you love. Try to get your mind on someone else. It sounds like you may have a touch of anxiety, too. Maybe you should see a doctor and get an rx for an anti anxity (NOT ANTI DEPRESSANT) med. If at all possible. You may even want to set up a few sessions with a councelor. Good Luck.
2006-09-26 03:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by Angel W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, buddy, it's a competitive world out there. Don't have a girl, want a girl, need a girl, girl of dreams taken, dang. That hurts, it's supposed you, you have seeds to sow.
Thinking of killing the man? Well, that might be a bit too far. Other fish in the sea. But you aren't there yet, right?
So, shake it off. Those aren't bad thoughts, just normal ones. Remain friends with her and wait in the wings, you'll get your chance. Every woman get's fickle at least once a month. How deep is your love?
Here's a bit of advice. Tell your that you are happy she is so happy. But let her know that you like her and care about her and you are ready at any time to help her for any reason cause you don't want to see her get hurt. May plant a seed.
But don't forget to plant some seeds in other ground too, understand?
2006-09-26 10:35:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jeffrey B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let yourself feel that way. Just keep reminding yourself that her happiness doesn't take anything away from you.
It can be hard to see other people being happy when you aren't, and it does leave you feeling guilty. When my sister had her second baby, I had to leave the hospital for a little while - all I could do was cry. I felt so bad that I was jealous of her, I should have just been happy for her. But it doesn't work like that, sometimes things hurt.
2006-09-26 10:15:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you liked her, and she's happy with someone else, obviously you are going to feel something less than "wonderful" for her, initially.
your only human man. it appears to be a momentary loss, and we are not wired to be happy when that happens.
but don't be resentful. your cup is either half empty, or half full.
if you truly feel like this is the one and only girl for you and life is now over because she is not with you, your cup is half empty, and you will always chase contentment.
if, on the other hand, you accept the fact that life does not always deal us the optimum hand right off the bat, digest your genuine feelings of loss, and move on, wishing her the best, then your cup is half full. you have a greater chance of attaining true happiness.
and when you exude that inner satisfaction of life IN YOUR LIFE, people are going to pick up on your vibe and gravitate to you.
wouldn't it be cool if SHE wound up being one of them?
and if not, then it wasn't meant to be.
2006-09-26 10:20:55 · answer #4 · answered by David S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I write a private journal entry letting all feelings, no matter what kind, out, then I tell myself at the end this is only temporary and the feelings will pass and some of it is not true (like if I called myself names or something.) Etc.
I reason out how I should treat the other person somewhere in between or near the end of all that. Putting it in writing solidifies your thoughts.
2006-09-26 10:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For doing anything,the most important thing is to have the determination and the courage to do it. Never feel dejected or get angry at any circumstances, because we tend to get worng at that times. You must bring it in your mind that she must be very happy with her hubby, even if you are suffering here. Why feel bitter. you must think that the man must be so lucky to get a girl like her. Even if you are not happy someone is! And remember the most important thing-Whatever happens, Happens for the good!! You must think that you will get a still good wife than her!!
2006-09-26 10:21:48 · answer #6 · answered by Kamlesh M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on I have an amazing friend who told me a story last week in which he explained that when uncontrollable self pity or wrong thinking takes you over you should just move on recognize your humanity and move on to something worth while.
2006-09-26 10:17:47 · answer #7 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're feelings are normal. The only thing left for you to do is to get on with your life. Find someone else who you'd consider being with or just get to know someone else. It's the only thing that will help take her off your mind. Find someone new!
2006-09-26 10:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know exactly where your coming from friends going through similar things now just gotta keep busy stay around friends in a week or two or three you'll see it from a different side, would not recommend speaking to them or seeing them if you can be strong enough to pull yourself away from that cause in my experience it only causes more pain for you.
2006-09-26 11:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by kerniggit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty more fish in the sea, just act cooler then him, and DON'T just be yourself, that's the trap most men fall into, be yourself and be cool. Here is a wicked website
www.sosuave.com
2006-09-26 10:22:18 · answer #10 · answered by jewl 32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋