We have a 24 year old daughter.She has a 3 year old son and is currently pregnant. She has no job. She is bi-polar so she has a problem with keeping jobs, therefore she cannot keep a place to live and keep up with her bills. She also has a drug problem. She is taking advantage of me and my husband due to not keeping up with her daily activities of being a mother. She doesn't clean up after herself. We are on a fixed income and are having problems making ends meet. I love my daughter dearly.. She doesn't realize what we give up for her and her children. She only sees the negative in us not the positive. How do we make her understand that we do alot for her and she needs to appreciate it. Should we make her move out and suffer the consiquences of tough love or should we try another approach?
2006-09-26 03:02:07 · 4 answers · asked by Nutcase 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you NUTS???? MOVE the girl OUT!!! She needs to fend for herself.
Your woosiness isn't helping ANYone....I'd be willing to bet that her sorriness is actually YOUR fault! You probably let her get by with everything as a child and so she just expects that to continue. Being a good parent doesn't mean just letting kids have their way!!
2006-09-26 03:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you described it's a bit "late" in the game, as a parent to take some sort of corrective and positive action...
You stated the following facts:
She's 24 years old...
She has a 3 year old child...
She can't hold a job...
She's bipolar...
She's hooked on drugs...
She's a slob...
You are the parent who raised her... It doesn't seem you and your husband did a very good job... and it has nothing to do with loving her dearly... You may not have totally corrected these problems earlier but you could have curbed them to a controllable state... The only option left for you now is tough love...
2006-09-26 10:16:01 · answer #2 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough love. She's gonna keep creating problems for herself so that you'll feel bad for her. It also seems that no matter what, she's going to use those kids against you. I see this happened in my own family, but with in-laws; so I can't say anything and it worries me that she may come knocking on my door when her parents are dead. She's a parasite. If you have the strength, get custody of those kids and push her out on her ear. No court in America will deny you and even the AARP will help you, they have programs, visit their web site (try a search on "AARP"). You have created this problem and just like a stubborn little 3 year old that refuses to brush teeth or go down for a nap, you have to be more stubborn, even when it hurts your heart.
2006-09-26 10:09:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I AM SURPRISED YOU CHOSE TO WRITE UNDER THE NAME NUTCASE.HOWEVER LET ME PUT THIS BLUNTLY YOUR DAUGHTER IS A PARASITE.YOU CAN GIVE HER BEHAVIOR ALL THE NAMES YOU WANT.BI POLAR AND ANYTHING ELSE THE SIMPLE TRUTH IS SHE IS A CON ARTIST AND A PRETENDER.YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I AM SAYING NOW BUT HEAR ME OUT.YOUR DAUGHTER DOES NOT EAT OFF THE FLOOR SHE DOES NOT DRINK OUT OF THE TOILETTE BOWL OR RUN THROUGH GLASS DOORS.SHE KNOWS HOW TO AVOID THINGS THAT ARE INJURIOUS TO HER.THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO HAVE THIS DISEASE AND THEY ARE NOT AS CONNIVING AS SHE IS.THEY ARE FULLY FUNCTIONING CITIZENS.DO YOU WONDER WHY HER BI POLAR ONLY EXTENDS TO YOU AND NOT TO HER MEN FRIENDS.
WHAT SHE IS DOING IS LEADING YOU TO AN EARLY GRAVE.SHE CARES ONLY ABOUT HERSELF.YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR LOVE FOR HER,SHE KNOWS THAT.GO TO YOUR TOWN HALL AND GET AN EVICTION NOTICE GET HER OUT.WE WILL FOREVER LOVE OUR CHILDREN BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS LIKE THEM.BEFORE I SIGN OFF,DO YOU THINK ANYBODY WILL TOLERATE HER BEHAVIOR WHEN YOU PASS ON?
2006-09-26 10:28:04 · answer #4 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋