My father in-law is dying...?

Question

All of us "kids" are taking care of him, he has no insurence so we are the main caretakers with a hospice nurse who comes once a week. I want to do something special for my husband, he is very close to his dad and this is very hard for him. Does anyone out there have and Ideas on a great night to help my husband be able to get his mind off this difficult time?

Answer 1

Send your husband a love letter to work - if he is in an office setting. Send him flowers or a balloon bouquet. The best thing you can do is just support him - let him take the lead and support him. We lost my mother in law 8 years ago. It is hard. Take him out to dinner and just go for a drive after wards. Sometimes the best thing to do is encourage him in the great memories he had with his dad and build on those. Leave out all the unhappy times - they aren't important right now.

Answer 2

I am very sorry for what you and your family are going through. There is nothing that anyone can do to get his mind off of his father and I know you want to do something to make him feel better. Why not allow him to remember the wonderful times he and his father spent together. Maybe get some old photos of the two of them and place them in an album or on a DVD. Sometimes it helps to remember the ones we love when they were at their best. We always want to fix things especially when it comes to people we love but your husband needs to feel whatever he is feeling right now because in the end he is gonna end up sad and hurting. But the best thing you can do for your husband is just be there and be supportive and loving and hold him when he's sad and try to make him smile at all times and just let him know that you are there for him and love him more than you ever have. When it is all said and done, he will always remember your just being there for him to make him feel better when he was probably at his worst. Take care and I'll be praying for you and your family.

Answer 3

I don't think you can get this off his mind. My husbands father died almost 5 years ago. He still talks about it. I think that from what I have learned the best thing you can do for ur husband is listen to him. Just him knowing that you are there and ready to listen to him whenever is enough. The loss of his father has made our marriage stronger. Just be his friend and let him talk. My husband use to wake me up crying in the middle of the night he missed his Dad so much. Just hold ur husband and be there...this is a really hard time for you both. Keep ur faith in god to give you the strength to get through this. Thoughts and Prayers with you and ur family at this time!

Answer 4

Im very sorry to hear that. I really dont think doing anything as far as going out together or something like that will matter to him right now. All that he needs right now is your love and support...And im sure you know that already. Just being there for him is the best thing you can do for him. Im sure he will be very happy knowing how much his wife really loves him. Or maybe an evening in the house with his favorite dinner. He might not even notice though because all hes going through. Once again im sorry,,,and just be there for him.

Answer 5

Pray for your father-in-law. Make sure that his Church knows about his illness. Cook a good supper every night, so that your husband's energy level remains strong. Make sure that he gets to bed early for the same reason. Keep the house clean. Make sure his hair is trimmed. Do that first thing. If you have trouble keeping in touch, and haven't a cell phone, use a pre-paid phone service. We took walks every evening together, and sometimes longer walks; the neighbors all were out and very kind to us. We also went to a family graduation party, which was low key. Make sure his father's friends and family are kept informed. Spare no expense for necessary equipment for his Dad.

I've seen a man have a great time with his mother, who died then. It was him and her with her electric wheelchair. He seemed to visit, more than any other member of the family, even his Dad. In her obituary, it said that his home was out of state.

Your father-in-law, is he off medicare? They pay for 100 days, in part.

Answer 6

All depends on what your husband is into.. if he's a sports fanatic see if u can rangle up some tickets to a game for the both of u..

Go get a hotel room for the night and just get away from it all..

Do whatever he's interested in that way it will help take his mind off of his father.. if its something he's interested in.. will keep him from day dreaming and thinking of what his father is going through..

Answer 7

I'm so sorry to hear that first of all. I know this being such a rough time it might be hard to approach him with pretty much anything not having to do with his father getting better. but a little extra love, and attention, is pretty much all you can do. maybe a nice night out, somewhere where there is something going on constantly. Keep his mind busy. I hope things get better for you guys...it usually does with time. God bless.

Answer 8

Just went through this with my family hasn't been a year yet. My husband was also close to his father. Just having people around to distract him helped and looking out for his mother. I am sorry to say that their isn't allot that you can do. Just be their for him you will have tough times ahead & it can be draining.
Good Luck to you and your family take 1 day at a time & try not to let it get you down to much.

Answer 9

First let me say how sorry I am for you. You are very thoughtful and kind to think of your hubby even when you are pulling your share of the load :)

To treat the hubby, just consider the things he likes to do. For my hubby, I'd get him a tee-time at his favorite golf course and meet him for supper afterwards.

Answer 10

Can you take him to a professional sporting event, or a concert? Failing that, a quiet night with his favorite meal, and something most all men like...