He is divorced and has a kid?

Question

I love him so much but whenever he talks about his ex-wife or his kid, it hurts me.
He married her after having cheated on me, their kid is the reason why he married her.
He's serious about me but why does it break my heart when he mentions them?

Did I mention that he's divorced now?
And I am not that bad: I want to bond with this child. All I am asking is why is this pain here & how to make it go.

Answer 1

Sounds a little like jealousy to me.You may not want to think of him having been with this other woman.Perhaps insecurity as well because it seems he can't make a decsion and stick with it.I wouldn't blame you for being insecure.

Answer 2

I can understand him talking about his child. If he didn't then I would be worried. On the other hand tell him that talking about his ex-wife hurts you. Especially since he cheated on you with her and then married her. If he continues to talk about her knowing that it hurts you then I think you should tell him you guys need a break from each other and see if this is what he really wants. Unfortunately the ex will be in the picture until the child is 18 but that doesn't mean he has to talk about her all the time. I hope everything works out for you. Good Luck

Answer 3

Tell him that the ex-talk hurts you. Tell him that you are here now and that you would appretiate if he keeps the ex-talk to a minimum. Do this without crying or drama, be calm and firm.

You also have to understandad that there is a child involved and that is something that you can't change. The child will always be part of his life and there is nothing that you can do about that. It's not the childs fault that your bf cheated on you, so don't resent the teh kid.

You say that your bf is serious about you, so you are going to have to learn how to cope with the way things are: he is divorced and he is a father and you can;t change that. You feel hurt because they represent the betrayal, and you feel as if "they ruined" your life... but it's not like that. It takes two to tango dear.

If you want to be happy, you will have to learn to accept the way things are.

Good luck

Answer 4

Because you've been cheated on! You are now carrying the feelings of insecurity and jealousy which is draining and a waste of your energy.
You will always be 2nd to his child. That is normal and it should be that way. Try bonding with his child, you have the luxury of having a friendship vs disiplinarian, enjoy that. He sounds like a good man to be concerned about his child and the mother of his child, but he is with you. Build your self confidence. He wont know what to do with that and the next thing you know he will be following you like a puppy. Beauty is an attraction and starts from the inside and exhumes thru the outside...Look at the possitive and release the negative.

Answer 5

Due to the fact that he "cheated on you with her" is the reason you are feeling this way.
It's always going to be in the back of your mind. It's only natural to be upset, what I don't understand, why didn't you move on? You allow him back into your life, knowing that he will always have an attachment to her. They have a child together,and she will always be in the picture whether you like it or not. Why put your self through that.
Love makes you do crazy things, and some times you lose your self in it. You really need to think about the future and what life you will have with him if you continue this relationship, because Hun, she is not going anywhere and neither is his child.
Best of luck!

Answer 6

You mentioned that he cheated on you with her, got her pregnant and then married her, now, he is back with you and you're torn up because he mentions the wife and the child.
That is a little unfair on your part..He cheated on you dear, and bless that child, an innocent in this vicious circle. As long as this child remains a thread between them, you are going to have to deal with this fact, if you love him so much, but you do have the option of getting out of this triangle, and starting new with someone that will not cheat on you to begin with. Good Luck.

Answer 7

I think you view the ex and the child as the reasons that kept you apart in the first place. I can understand his talking about the child and if you hope to be in his life, then you're going to have to realize that his child is the #1 priority in his life.

But talking about his ex... only if it's related to talking about his child.

Answer 8

Well first off his married you really think his going to take the time out for you without saying his wife or kide.. You dont need that find some one else.. There is more fish in the sea he aint all that
next time if your with him ask him how much he reallly care then ask him to not bring there name up when his around you but if he cant then leave him..

Answer 9

You need to grow up. I can understand the whole ex-wife issue but the child? The child is part of him that you can't do away with. If you can't truely deal with then you need to move on and leave him be. Children are innocent and this one doesn't need YOUR baggage and crap in its life. And whether you like it or not since he has a child with his ex, there will always be a connection between them. To expect him to drop both is very childish and immature. You will have to deal with both of them should you pursue a relationship with him, although I would strongly advise you not to do so in your present state of mind.

Answer 10

..Ok.. had to go back and re-read this as its so confusing..

So if i have this right.. he was with u.. cheated on u , got a girl pregnant.. and then divorced her.. and now he's back with you????

Your nuts for going back to him.. because he's only going to cheat on u again but this time he'll make sure he uses protection.. but nonetheless.. u better get over it real quick the fact that he talks about his x wife and his child..

HIS CHILD ESPECIALLY.. thats his kid no matter how the child came about , thats his "BLOOD" and u better get use to that child being in the picture for the rest of your life if u choose to be with this man.. that child is more important then u are.. .
And sorry but the x wife comes with the deal.. he's going to have to talk to her, and he's going to bring up her name, and he's going to deal with her for the rest of that childs life.. so if u cant handle it.. u need to get out now..