why does my mum behave like this with me?

Question

im a 21 years old single girl , still living at home, she shouts at me for no reason what so ever and can be really threatning , Ive tried running away , but its diffcult, however she has this very strange behaviour that I have realised, I have no one asking about me at my door, like friends and have no partner

but when I was learing how to drive ,once my instructor rang me up, and she became all quiet, I noticed that anytime a man calls for me, for the purpose of business, she goes al quiet on me, and doesnt shout, like when I order food, they deliver it to my door, she was shouting at me, and when I order food she goes all quiet and even stands back, another time when I ordered food, she was shouting at me, and when he went and he rang again to give me a reciept , she didnt shout at me again, why does she feel scared when a man calls for me, if theres nothing wrong,she wouldnt be scared , why is she doing this to me, she shouts at me for no reason and if a man calls me she gets quie

Answer 1

why dont you try standing on your own 2 feet and getting a job and moving out so you dont have to put up with her threats, or better still tell her how much it upsets you? you are an adult now, not a child and thereforte should start acting like one

Answer 2

You could have a couple of problems. One, your mother may be going deaf. Two, she has a problem with your behaviors.
Sit her down and tell her all the things you are doing to work towards some independence. Your job, your education, learning to make right decisions. Come off like a person she can respect. She's treating you like a little girl because she doesn't see the woman you are becoming. When she shouts walk up to her, where she can see you, and say, "Mom, you don't have to shout, I'm right here. What do you want to say?" Do this every time. Listen to what she has to say and let her know , ok, you understand. My guess is that you don't even hear or acknowledge what she is saying because it all sounds like just one big yell. Keep striving for your independence. Find out what it will take to move out. Do a budget. Research housing and options. Some places have utilities included in the rent. See if you have a freind who would like a stable roommate.
Do make sure you follow through about the shouting. A habit has developed and it is going to be up to you to gently help her break it.

Answer 3

the simple solution is...get your own place if you can afford it if you can't stand her yelling and threats, moving out may bring you a little close together ans she may back off a bit, but do tell her that she's making your life unbearable...start looking for a place...you are old enough now....she will only shout at you when you are alone with her, maybe she does not want other people seeing what she is really like.....sorry that your so unhappy...some mums are just plain naggy a times...get the local papers and look for some acommodation, you don't really need to live there any more...you're a big girl now, make a life of your own and be happy....visit her on occasion if she starts nagging you, then all you have to do is leave and go home where it's peaceful and quiet...good luck

Answer 4

You have seriously got to get out of there. Whatever it takes. Get a job in a hotel or somewhere that will give you accommodation to start with. Failing that there are hostels (bit dodgey though). Look in The Lady magazine there are "live in" jobs there, just as a way to get out of the house. You can't have your Mum laying her problems on you. Once you have moved out then maybe you can see her from a different perspective and get her some well needed help. Best of luck chuck.

Answer 5

It sounds like she might have mental health problems, perhaps with depression or something like that. Or it might just be that she recognises the fact that you are a young woman who might leave her as soon as the right man comes along. . .It sounds as though she is terrified of being left alone, and in a crazy mixed up way, she is pushing you away. If I were you I would move out.

Having piece of mind is far more important than continuing to let her treat you this way.

Good Luck hun.

Answer 6

I would highly suggest you show your mum (who I believe loves you or you wouldn't be living in her house) what you have typed on this yahoo question board and ask her to write you a response.

Maybe if that fails you can look up family relationship centres in your state (there are government funded centres in Australia - since you used the word MUM and not MOM I'm assuming you are from here/Australia)

Good luck getting to the bottom of this puzzling question

Mia

Answer 7

Maybe she's hoping you'll elope with the pizza man, honey! Why don't you get a job and move out of your Mom's house and be an adult woman? You're not a "girl" anymore and your Mom is probably tired of having to continue to support you. Tell your mom you're looking for an apartment then go ahead and find one. It will improve your relationship significantly. Godloveya.

Answer 8

She does not want others to know that she is an abusive mother. It's time for you to move out and get away from her.
Contact friends other family members and see if you could stay temporary with them until you can afford a place of your own. Good luck.

Answer 9

I hate to declare this, yet there is not any thank you to understand why your mom is the way she is. needless to say she is handling an extremely painfull previous that she dosen't choose to share with you. you may desire to truly admire that. i realize it is tough. My mom is particularly very similar to yours...and that i know bits and peices approximately my mom's babies and incredibly much none of it replaced into reliable. i know you have got a million questions, and your thoughts are all confussed...I even have been there...and albeit i'm nevertheless there at circumstances. you could no longer enable it consequence your life. you will get lots of persons skills at school and collectively with your Dad. how are you able to declare you're no longer getting pronounced right? you have use of a working laptop or laptop, are going to college, you sound like an extremely worrying, friendly individual so which you have got some buddies...you merely might desire to stop focusing on your mom's life and initiate living your very own. Do you belong to any golf equipment or communities like lady Scouts, the college band or orchestra? How some laptop club or a activity team like soccer, softball or tennis? in step with risk your church's babies team... There are alot of issues you're able to do to be around different adults that could be your chum and assist you to advance. merely go searching. Your mom might or will never replace. that doesn't advise you may go through for it. admire her precise to privateness, she has earned that. go away her previous on my own and don't communicate it with persons. stay your life...get reliable grades, make reliable buddies, bypass to as plenty college as you could and locate some thing you decide directly to do collectively with your life. in case you get dissatisfied approximately your mom write in a mag...that enables alot. be happy toddler...be happy to e mail me by using yahoo every time...

Answer 10

I think you should maybe sit down and try talking with your mum tell her how u feel or maybe get a family member or friend who is close to your mum to have a chat with her and if that doesnt help tell her u cant take any more and are arrangeing to move out that might change her ways.