My step-son refused to go to school this morning. He's quite honest normally but think he's not saying all.
He's 13 in November and I feel he has been showing classic signs of being bullied - but I only see him at weekends.
This kid is very intelligent, outgoing and has always been generally happy. He moved last year to a new school, leaving a very good school behind where all of the kids were really well behaved and friendly. The school he's in now is alot bigger and a little rougher.
He has never come out and said that he gets bullied but he has a fascination with darkness, which neither his mum or dad or I have a problem with. But sometimes he get's very absorbed in talking about guns and blood etc... It's strange.
He has said once or twice that the kids in his school are idiots. He said they call him 'Gayvid' instead of David etc... I know kids get very cruel with eachother at that stage of their development.
Any advice?
2006-09-26 00:46:40 · 12 answers · asked by quay_grl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
talk to him. his fascination with the "dark side" can be a phase and an escape, not necessarily harmless to begin with but can very easily turn that way.Changing schools can be hard for a kid, and you say he is your step son so he has gone through two dramatic life changes at such an early age yes?. separation from one parent and a change of school is always hard on there own let alone both of these events. get him some help okay this is something that needs pro help,e is crying out to be heard hence his refusal to go to school, he is trying to tell you all something is wrong, in the only way he knows how,be there for him, reassure him that he can tell you anything and that he can trust you, if possible do the grown up thing and his mother and you and your husband all sit down and talk about this, this is about whats best for this child. so personal issues aside for everyone here, he is the most important thing right now and always should be.he needs to know you are all there for him.get in pro help, a councellor for him, talk to the school head and his teacher and even some of his mates they will know better than any what is going on in his head and at school.
2006-09-26 00:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Their calling him "Gayvid" is evidence that they are bullying him. He is probably questioning himself now. Asking himself internally, "Why do they call me names?", "Do I act gay?" , "Maybe I am gay?" , "But, I don't want to be gay etc...?".
I think you get the idea. 13 is a tuff age for boys they are learning to express themselves. They are noticing girls. They are experiencing body changes like the voice change and the unavoidable "wet dream" that occurs while they are asleep w/o necessarily dreaming sexual things. He doesn't know how to make them stop.
He needs a good "talk" about the changes that might be happening to him (he will act uninterested and grossed out and like he knows it all) but assure him that it is all normal. Also, discuss that the fact that he doesn't have a girlfriend YET doesn't make him gay. Violence is power at this age. That is why they like the video fighting games. He is feeling powerless right now because he doesn't think that he did anything to merit the cruelty he is now experience.
He needs help building his confidence and self-esteem. When he does this he will be able to fend off unwarranted teasing.
Lastly, if necessary, get the names of the boys and speak with the principal. Sometimes all it takes is for them to know they will be held accountable for them to stop. Explain to him that not everyone will like him. Just as he will not like everyone but that doesn't give them to encroach on his personal space. Every student is entitled to an education w/o fear.
2006-09-26 08:09:13 · answer #2 · answered by AVA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i say he is being bullied at school don't worry about gun's and violence he is at a stage in his life and gun's and violence appeal to most 12/13 year old boys to help him out get him into a martial arts class like karate or boxing it teaches discipline of the mind and body even scouts army,navy or air cadets would do him well and once he has trained in on of these subjects no ones words will bother him trust me it worked for me i was in the army cadets and karate and now no one bothers me and i am joining the army so one day i can teach bullied kids a good life
2006-09-26 08:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by stevemacnikel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call the guidence counselor at the school and share your concerns. They can keep an eye on him and see what is going on. He may talk to an adult at school before he will talk to his parents. My 12 year old son had some of the same problems last year. Good luck!
2006-09-26 07:51:51 · answer #4 · answered by cassie12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don’t understand what you meant by him having a ‘fascination with darkness’;
I am concerned about him getting very absorbed in talking about guns and blood…
Please arrange for him to talk to a counsellor.
The last thing anyone needs is another ‘Columbine Massacre’ !!!
2006-09-26 08:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he could be, it could also be his age. Try and talk to him. Tell him you wont be mad if he's having bad thoughts about the other kids ( and don't!). If he is try and find out why. If he is being bullied it has to be taken care of in way that wont get your stepson in trouble with the other students. Good Luck.
2006-09-26 08:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by Me luv u long time 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like he may be getting bullied, but at that age bullying can be pretty bad.
You or his other parents need to talk to a school administrator.
If he refuses to go to school and says the things he says something terrible is going on at school. he is reaching out. I'm sure it wasn't easy to tell ya'll he gets called Gayvid.
Ya'll need to find out what is going on and fast, before something bad happens to him.
This boy is crying out for help!
Don't let him down.
2006-09-26 08:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by red.cancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask his teacher. She might have some insight to the problem. Or else maybe he has fallen into the wrong crowd. Don't wait until it's too late to do something. Do something now.
2006-09-26 07:54:35 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be willing to listen to him ... he needs to figure this one out for himself - just try to keep him on a safe and sane moral track when he starts advocating violence ... that isn;t the answer, remind him that those who would put him down do it because that is the only way they can feel good about themselves and feel superior for that short time. also remind him that no one can make him feel worthless without his permission.
2006-09-26 07:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he's probably getting bullied, I think you'd best talk to somebody about his behavior,
2006-09-26 07:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋