I've been with my fiance for 7 years and i love him very much but at the weekend i kissed someone else and he walked in. I don't feel anything for the other guy and i think that i was just flattered at the attention. i can't forget the look on his face, he was crushed. i want to talk about it but he just wants to forget about it. What do i do?
2006-09-26 00:41:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, really determine why you allowed this kiss to happen. Then if you want your relationship to last, vow never to let something like this happen again.
Right now your man is feeling betrayed, if he is like most men, and I know that is a generalization, he needs to think this through and doesn't want to talk about it. But he isn't going to forget it.
Give him a week or two, then go to him and tell him that the guilt is killing you and you need to get this issue off your chest and deal with it totally. Explain to him why you think it happened, that you will never let it happen again, and that you need him to believe that.
If you "let it go" as others have suggested it will be an issue that is bound to be brought up in the future in any disagreements or arguments you may have.
The only way for both of you to get past it is to deal with it head on. But like I say, give him a couple of weeks to cool down emotionally. In the meantime, send him a couple of cards that let him know his importance to you, and that you love him.
2006-09-26 00:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Burying something like this is more than likely going to bite you in the backside in the long run. I would try and have him talk it out. This sentiment will just fester in him and come out in a big ugly burst one day.
If I would have walked into my the same situation I would be gone gone gone. My wife and I are soulmates, best friends and lovers. We would never ever violate that trust and confidence in one another. I hope you realize that your toughtless act was a huge betrayal and you have to spend a lot of time mending that bridge.
Some will say it's not that big a deal and just to move on, but if you can't control yourself so as to honour what should be the most important relationship in your life (until you have kids), then what's the point of being in that relationship.
Take this opportunity to reflect on who you are as a person and what changes you can make to become a better person.
All the best to you
2006-09-26 08:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Figure out why you needed that attention from someone other than your fiance. You don't want to make this mistake again (or worse). Once you understand it, you can explain it to your fiance.
2) Regain his trust. He is almost certainly wondering what else has happened when he wasn't around to see it. You'll need to come completely clean about everything. (I am not saying that there is anything else, just that if there is, you have to be honest about it.)
3) Make sure that when you feel needy, you communicate those needs to him and look to him to fulfill them.
2006-09-26 07:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other people can fool you alll they want...how do you MISTAKENLY kiss someone? YOU need to search within YOURSELF how and why you let that kiss happen because this time it was a kiss...whats it gon be the next time? Oh and 7 years engaged...is there a wedding in sight or what?
2006-09-26 07:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For him, talking about it might just bring back the horrible memory of seeing his woman kissing another guy. If he doesn't feel talking about it will accomplish anything and he wants to forget about it, I think you should grant him his wish. He's obviously ready to move on from the incident and forget that it ever happened. So should you. Aplogizing and moving on is probably the only thing you can do at this point.
2006-09-26 07:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by melcar12345 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think you have hurt him though you had no such intention. Best thing is to apologies and make him understand that the other guy really did not mean anything to you. If he is 7 years with you, then he should have faith in you and should believe your innocent mistake. I think you will be able to convince him and you will get back you love. But please be careful in future. Today it is very difficult to find a true lover and true love.
2006-09-26 07:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
well it sounds like he has put it to bed so to speak, pretty understanding guy, he must love you very much. BUT yes you do need to talk about it, you need to find out why you let this happen, there is something lacking here, maybe after 7 years you guys are in a rut. you take each other for granted. talk, talk, and talk, he may not want to, as men tend to have a theory that if i don't think about it its not real. well wake up guys it is,you have to force the issue here, maybe write him a letter that Way he is not confronted in his face about this but it may make him think things through, make it a good letter, spill your entire feelings good or bad its time to sort it out.
2006-09-26 07:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Dear this is very very painful for him u immediately ask excuse & told him the act. Just think if he did the same with a girl
2006-09-26 07:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by apurba s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Book a romantic weekend away for the both of you and have fun fun fun and more maybe something your fiance likes doing or going.
2006-09-26 07:48:47 · answer #9 · answered by Darrell K 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to do some deep and serious thinking about why you chose to kiss someone in a situtation where you knew you could be caught......
Give your fiance some time.....don't force the issue.....
2006-09-26 07:48:54 · answer #10 · answered by jrsgurl62 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋