My son has a eating disorder he is 11 years old but no one seems to want to help?

Question

he has has beem seen by cams, dieticians,health care workers,doctors but no one seems to know what to do, hes been like this from the age of 3, all he eats is chips and walkers prawn cocktail crisps. he has put so much weight on recently as hes always hungry and has started compulsory eating and yes i have tried everything from not having them in but he just eats nothing .

Answer 1

get him counseling

Answer 2

So let him eat nothing - he'll get hungry eventually. Put all your food under lock and key. Accompany him to and from school. You really must not cave at all on this! It's not a physical problem, it's a psychological one. The list of medical people you state are the wrong ones - you need a child psychiatrist or psychologist (never been sure about the difference). But most of all - Put Your Foot Down. Do you let him watch TV after eating? Don't, unless he eats something different. How about Playstation, XBox, etc? No, no rewards unless he eats something different. You have to start a process of re-training. And do it now - before he gets too grown up and unhealthy.

Answer 3

Your son may still grow out of this as he realises what he's doing. In the meantime, you must make sure he has vitamins, especially vitamin c, also omega 3 & 6 oils & calcium. He may respond to hypnotism or acupuncture. I would try the Paul McKenna book & CD which he could listen to in the privacy of his own room. turn it around so he feels he can do this himself, and don't put too much pressure on him. Act like it's ok for him to eat the crisps, then he may decide he doesn't want to, or tell him he can have 1 bag a day as a treat for eating other foods. Good luck!

Answer 4

Go back to your doctors, and demand that he sends you and your son to see a specialist. Somewhere like Great Ormond Street, London, as they will do more tests, than your local hospital. When you ask the question is their anything else that can be done? all you get told is NO, but their has got to be and their is at other hospitals, they just don't tell you this. My daughter has seizures and for a long time, I've been asking if their are any other tests, and I was told NO, but their is, and she is currently under investigation at GOSH. DO NOT be fobbed off, be forceful, and TELL your doctor you want a referral to GOSH or anywhere else you can find help. I know Jordan's little boy Harvey is under GOSH for his fluctuating weight problem.

BOOK AN APPOINTMENT NOW TO SEE YOUR GP, AND REMEMBER, DO NOT BE FOBBED OFF. THIS IS AN IMPORTANT ISSUE.

All the best.

Answer 5

If I were you (thats not to say that I know best, or that you haven't tried etc) is only provide healthy, yet approachable food (You also must maintain and enjoy this diet, as will your whole household). There would be no crips or chips to tempt him and I would have him out of school for a couple of weeks whilst he got used to the changes. (Perhaps). I would do some fun family excercise with him such as bike rides, or go for a walk in a forest, or swimming. All the stuff that is actually good fun. Jogging up and down your street is boring and a lot like hard work.

I'd show him programs such as Jamie Oliver's school dinners and that Ian Right one. I would also insist that he saw a councilor.

There is a theory with many types of eating disorder that the person takes up un-healthy eating patterns such as not eating or compulsive eating to gain some control over their lives. It becomes quite a burden to some people as they set themselves very hard rules to live by. In many cases the control has to be completely lost (someone else takes full responsibility) before they can build a healthy level of control over their lives. This could be the case here, because children from a young age work out what makes their parents tick. If he realised that he could make you anxious and get his own way all at once, then he's going to do it. Its recognition that you love him. This could be linked to issues such as comfort eating.

I would allow him to go three whole days without food before i'd crack. Then I would serve the most healthy chips. Which are homemade wedge, skins on, with a tiny amount of olive oil brushed over them and cooked in the oven.

If I were you i'd also have your kid on suppliments such as a multi vitamin. only eating potatoes is not gonna give him the range of vitamins and minerals he needs to develop to his true potential.

This is going to be hard work for everyone in your family, as you will all need to lead by example.

Try to keep it fun. Good luck!

Answer 6

Get them out of the house and don't have any junk food in the house. Don't make it a battle, don't force him to eat a full meal, have lots of variety on hand - fruit, youghurts, cereals, toasted sambos, beans on toast, scrambled eggs. Steer clear of bribing him with food, and encourage him to drink plenty of water and fruit juice.
Kids WON'T starve themselves, but they will get extremely malnourished on a diet of chips and Walker's crisps! It would be better to have him eat two bites of something healthy than that. Be satisfied it he tries a mouthful or two of something.
If he doesn't eat at least some of his dinner, put it away and offer to reheat it later when he's hungry... don't let him play on your worry that he'll go hungry or you'll give in and be back in the old pattern in no time.
Consistency and variety are the way to go.

He doesn't have an eating disorder - he's a kid who knows how to play you.... and look at all the attention he's getting as a reward!

Answer 7

He is still growing so he may just grow out of it,my son was a very fussy eater all he wanted was sausage and chips,but he is now an adult and still a fussy eater,it might help if you did a weekly meal plan and stuck to it,as he will eat it when he is hungry,just don't give in to him,tell there are no more chips or crisps coming into your house,he will soon get used to it with a bit of luck

Answer 8

Im sure anything I say youve already heard but tough love is the answer. My sons father got him in the habit of eating only fast food and when I cooked he wouldnt eat. Now he doesnt leave the table until he eats what ive cooked and no snack if he chooses not to eat. Your son will eventually eat what you put on the table. This doesnt happen over night. Take a stand now. The reason no one can help is because only you can...

Answer 9

fine he just eats nothing... the thing is that he knows for a fact that you will always cave in. he also has you worriying about him 24/7, so highly effective attention seeking tactic.
there is a problem with his age.... the behaviour is becoming in grained... i would suggest you take him to a child psychologist, to help him to start thinking differently. also check to see if there are any parenting classes you can go to as they may have very useful information on how to handle his behaviour better.

if nothing else... cold turkey. stock the fridge with normal food. tell him, he can help himself... but no crisps. sounds like he's gotta loose weight anyway. and if he screams and shouts let him... it will become less and less. also let the school know what you are doing and ask them for support.
unfortunately you have created a problem, and now you have to deal with the pain of fixing it... so don't be angry at him this is not his fault, be angry with yourself.

Answer 10

The older he gets, the harder it is going to be to change this behavior. You don't mention a mental health counselor in the professionals you have taken him to. I think that needs to be your next stop.

As others have said, he will not starve himself. Don't give in to his manipulating you, because that is what his "hunger strikes" are all about...scaring you into giving in.

But again, get him to a counselor. I have a VERY overweight brother and his compulsive eating habits were obvious from a very young age. It was obvious that he needed help, but my parents couldn't accept that mental help was necessary. Now he is over 50, had stomach stapling, and is suffering many medical problems from his obesity.

One final thought: Try to get him to AT LEAST take a good multivitamin, preferably a green source nutrition supplement, so he is at least getting the nutrients he needs for development. Try appealing to his male ego. The vitamins (and eating right too, obviously) will help him develop as a man and grow as tall as possible too.

Good luck to you.

Answer 11

the problem with eating disorder is not the diet, but mental. it's a cry for help because there's something deep inside of him that's unfinished business.

finding out the cause will be sensitive, so be very patient with your son. never be forceful but always encouraging him to be open. if he has something to say, listen uninterruptedly. if he doesn't have anything to say, let him have his space and try again later.

secular people would suggest going to a psychiatrist; i've tried that but i find that oftentimes it only deals with the symptoms and not the root issue. what's worked for me has been Christian inner healing counselling... try looking for a Vineyard Church near you (known to have reliable healing ministries) or contact http://www.agapehealing.org and ask if they know a counsellor near you.

another place i recommend you look at is Mercy Ministries, www.mercyministries.org. please bear in mind that this ministry is for girls (and i know that you have a boy). nevertheless, this is a ministry that has helped many adolescent girls overcome major problems in their lives, including eating disorders, so i'm sure that someone in their staff must know where you can get good help for a boy. in any case, contact them and ask.