2006-09-24 23:45:20 · 19 answers · asked by R I Y A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to be assertive with your mother-in-law in defining your bounderies with respect to her. You can choose what is off-limits for you and make those limits very clear to her. Beyond that, it is not in your control. Discussing your mother-in-law constantly with your husband and his ex-wife is a way of maintaining her influence in your relationship. Therefore, beyond defining with them a common and clear attitude towards her actions, she should not be brought up. The more you concentrate on her, the more she will be a diversion to you from your marital relationship.
If you find that in spite of all efforts she persists in her behavior, I suggest you seek professional help.
I find your situation somewhat complicated by the fact that you and your husband live with his ex-wife, your cousin. While not knowing the reasons or the details of this arrangement, this is itself would need some professional counseling.
2006-09-24 23:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a part of life that will never change. The wife always thinks the mother-in-law is still controlling the son. Sometimes it is true. Generally, though, they are just trying to give advice and be helpful. They raised their son and they don't want to let go and why should they entirely?. Some mothers-in-law are very dominating and rude; others, just care. Try to accept what you can and talk to her in a kind way about some things you wish she would not interfere into in your marriage. I don't know what kind of person she is so it is hard to answer the question. If she is well meaning, though, turn it to your advantage.
2006-09-25 07:13:24 · answer #2 · answered by nobluffzone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on now...you are letting the M-I-Law win. By letting this person know that she's getting to you she wins !!! Put the woman on ignore and never show emotion to what you feel she's doing to your lives.
You'll find the best reaction to a situation is NO reaction. Yes, it's hard not to react but if you do no reaction often enough it will get easier and easier.
NO one but you has the power to ruin your own life!! REMEMBER that...
2006-09-25 06:49:33 · answer #3 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There seems to be a theme about Mother N Laws recently.
She can't ruin your life, only if you allow her to.
I have a great relationship with my Son's wives, I try not to meddle, and they wouldn't let me if I wanted to....neither would my Son's, they would put me straight.
2006-09-25 06:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So tell your husband to grow some B A L L S and tell Mommy to butt out of your lives.
Don't you do it. He has to do it. It will work because mothers for some reason need to be told he is not my little boy anymore.
2006-09-25 07:34:22 · answer #5 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes....in-laws can become out-laws..they want to get in between the two of you couple...maybe you just have to live away from each other's parents..in that way..you can live on your own...decide things with your husband...t.c.
2006-09-25 06:49:54 · answer #6 · answered by xrae12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move at least 5 hours away - you can get there if there is a true emergency but it will minimize other day in day out contact
2006-09-25 07:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by roadrunner426440 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, only if you and your husband allow her to do so. Unless you're living in her home, or dependent on her, politely and firmly take your lives and autonomy back.
2006-09-25 06:47:58 · answer #8 · answered by macguffin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut her out of your lives....
She can only ruin it if she's in it.
2006-09-25 10:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by Alison 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is in your biz all the time and has your husband wrapped around her little finger then I would have to say yes she is!
2006-09-25 07:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Manda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋