What do i do with my friend?

Question

I have this friend who openly declares he loves me.He also happens to be married.I have a broken marriage and separated from my husband.Do i believe him.He is always there to help me and talks to me all the time.Do i really believe that he loves me?

He has been married for couple of years.He says he too has problems with wife.But at the same talks about his with lots ease with me.He also has a child.I too have a child who has been taken away by my husband.I have tried to work on my marriage despite his ill behaviour and my friend has supported me enough in that.But now with what happened this time,he tells me its enough on my part and i should move on with life.He tells me to establish myself and then fight for my child.He is being supportive all the time.I also feel he has fallen for me out of sympathy..tho he declines it.I need the real answer.I live in an asian society and there other factors also involved.Do i continue my frienship with him or do readily fall for his declared love.Both of us when we were friends,we were accused by our spouses of having affair.We feel we have been indirectly pushed into it by our spouses.

Answer 1

Hi,

You are separated from your husband. You have lost your child to your husband. You know the pain of having lost your marriage, right? You know the pain of having lost your child to someone else, right? you know exactly what bad effect the breaking of marriages have on children, right?

Then why do you want to break the marriage of your friend? I know that you don't want to break his marriage. But why do you even want to become the reason for the break up of his marriage? Have mercy on his wife, who is innocent. Let her not suffer as you did. Have mercy on their child. Let him not suffer as your child is suffering. Let their marriage not break up.

In fact, you politely tell your friend to take lesson from your marriage. Tell him that you have suffered a lot and now you want him to look into his own marriage. Who knows your husband and child may return to you one day. You don't want to be embarrassed that day, do you?

And lastly, if your friend is not able to live in harmony with his first wife, what is the guarantee that he will live in harmony with you??? You don't want another broken marriage, do you?

This person may simply be eyeing to sleep with you. so please be cautious, be firm, and be determined.

God bless you.

Answer 2

Wow, that kind of hard what you been into. If I was separated my wife and female friend come tell me that she loves me so much more than friend. For me I tell her I know you do but just friend. I am just separated not divorce. I understand how you feel about me. But, My life is my family. I wouldn't want to do this at all. I would keep on fighting to get my family back and If she keep on doing that I would asked her to stop and leave me alone and not respect me at all. and I understand she would be there to listen what Ihave to say.

But, the point is you love your husband and child and I would think you would be focus on your marriage right now and have your friend leave you alone. You have friend support you and all that. I can see why your husband accused you for cheating on him. but my best thing for you is that you need not to see him and tell your husband nothing happen between us.. it up to your husband to believe or not. but Fight for your child, it is yours and you carry for 9 months and take care of that child. Don't giveu p on your child.

Answer 3

Some men get stuck in marriages that they feel they just can't get out of. If he does love you and you are fresh out of a marriage, then it all depends on how you feel about him. Do you see your relationship with him going any farther? Do you think that the two of you would have a solid foundation to build on? Relationships are all about foundation.

Answer 4

Hi there!!

Since you are separated, you know how it feels to be separated from your husband.. He told you that he loves you, Then why did he marry his wife now?? If you can get out of the issue, please get away from it because once that he will realize that you are beginning to bellieve him, he will insist and his wife now will be suffering.. On your end, there's no problem because you are already separated.. But on his end, there will be a big problem..

Take care!!

Answer 5

The biblical story of ADAM taking the "forbidden" apple and being banished from paradise is more true in real life than you think!!! For your sake and his, DO NOT offer the forbidden apple, Men takes them. Both will live to regret.

Answer 6

He's married. Even if he says he loves you I know in your heart of hearts you feel you can't count on it otherwise you won't be posting this question here. Run away while you still can. You wouldn't want to break someone's heart and yours.

Answer 7

If your friend really loved you he wouldn't be married. He loves the fact that he might be able to get into your pants after he get his little on the side then he will go back night after night to his wife. If he was your "friend" then he wouldn't be putting you in the position to commit adultery

Answer 8

You are feeling lonely, and your friend should not even consider on breaching your friendship this way. Being there and listening to you is one thing, encourage him to stay with his wife, and allow yourself to get on with your life. You really do not need this kind of baggage right now.

Answer 9

I guess u want to believe that he loves you--- but since you don't know if u have to, since the fact that he is MARRIED-- so u asked it out.

Weigh it out, listen to yorself if you think he really loves yo or not--afterall who would feel it best but yourself.

And u know he is married--- what do u want to do with him? Think what is u want-- or if u shall like to do something out of your present situation. Follow your heart, but do some rational thinking first.

Answer 10

The problem is not that he loves you. He may be right. But the problem is do you love him. If you think yes, you can believe him.