Long story short, in a long distance relationship....2 years. We're planning on living together shortly. The white lies started about 8 months ago. I busted him on every one, almost left, and he would cry and beg me not to leave, promise to change, yadda yadda yadda. Some of the lies were bigger than others, but I've never caught him cheating or anything like that. He once lied about changing the guitar strings. What?? yeah. He lies about stuff that wouldn't matter either way, so I don't understand why he does it. But I feel that if he'd lie to me about small insignificant stuff, then he would surely lie about the big stuff. I've confronted him and told him how badly I need to trust him, and his lies are making me doubt his every word...but he still does it. Do you think that some men just lie out of habit, and do you think there is a way of changing (curing) them??
2006-09-24 21:03:13 · 15 answers · asked by heartbroken 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a compulsive liar and needs professional help. Simply telling him NOT to lie is not going to work. It's something he has to want to work on himself and there's nothing u can do to change him.
2006-09-24 21:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but you can't cure or change him. If he lies about little things he will lie about big things too. Once you live with him the lies will continue and only get bigger and about more important things. Can you really live with someone that lies to you? There will be no trust on your endWhat was up with the guitar strings? This is where I am coming from it made no difference if he did or not. The fact remains he lied to you. I know someone that will lie about things from stupid to important. You can't believe one word that comes from his mouth. It destroyed a relationship of almost 10 years. His girlfriend couldn't take it anymore. Then in the end, after she kicked him out...he still continued to lie...as she said it just didn't matter anymore. I don't know you but I would hate to see you end up that way. Don't buy into his tears and confessions of never to do it again. He will. Just please think about if you can really live your life with someone like that.
2006-09-24 21:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by misstigeress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience you are describing what is known as a congenital liar. He has lied his whole life and will continue to do so. In my opinion this is an illness- maybe borderline personality disorder- a character disorder. In order to get over it he would need to want help- and he probably never will.
The crying and begging you not to leave are all part of his disorder. I am sorry to be so negative about him but this is the way I see it. You sound like a nice person and I advise you to move on. This guy would bring you only sorrow and is not husband or father material.
2006-09-24 21:14:21 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can change, and he can stop lieing, but he has to see why it is wrong and then want to change. It may take a religious transformation or him being hurt by the lies of others but he can change, however it is never easy to break a bad habit.
2006-09-25 00:12:54 · answer #4 · answered by Timothy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe some men lie out of habit. My man lies about everything aswell. I feel the same way you do, confused! Don't they know lieing will just make it worse for them. Also, how do you believe them about the major stuff when they do lie about petty crap! Men are just morons sometimes. Good Luck!
2006-09-24 21:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by joyall57 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me i have lied alot, i learn that from family and friends. but when I met my wife wow, it was the hardest thing to tell her. Like I did something stupid and I told her what happen. she wasn't mad and she said oh I guess you learn something new today huh? I was speechless, told her more honest and she been very understable and I was shocked and I learn to be honest. sometime I am not It mroe hard for her to deal with it and I can tell by looking her face. I am deaf and I read body lang. My wife is hearing.
But, If I love my wife more anything and My Kids and I will be honest with them. I would like my kids to be honest with me and I would do same thing for them. I want them to trust me and I would never be mad and I want them feel easy for them to tell me honest and nothing ever change my mind about them or be mad. smile.
For what he doing now I think he need to be honest and if he can't then No need to keep on having relationship with him. find other guy who can be honest and you not kind of person be pissed off of person being honest with you but it hurts yes but at least person being honest right.
I do hope you not moved in with him until he show everything and can change it. and if he can great if not then no good to keep him smile.
2006-09-25 00:59:42 · answer #6 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from a man who has lied to every woman he has ever known, all his life. Dump this guy. The lying will not only never stop, it'll get worse.
2006-09-24 21:18:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they never stop lying. And they never think you will be able to catch them in their dumb azz lies. Men, like my suppose to be boyfriend, lie ALL the time, they just cant help themselves. And it starts off as lying about little things that you wouldnt care about and then it escalates to big things, like other females. So no, he will never stop lying, you just have to keep letting him know that you know the truth.
2006-09-24 21:07:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!
I go through EXACTLY the same thing, girlfriend!!
Why is he so scared??
Doesn't he know you'll end up finding out anyway?
Tell him you love him and get attracted to him more if he is kindly honest!
(Which is true for me!)
Ask him why he thinks he needs to lie about ...
(Don't make it a demand, he'll cry again!
Just ask him simply and truthfully).
2006-09-24 21:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experiences ppl who lied no matter man or woman. Once they start small they will start big.
Once you caught them lies it will carry on non-stop! this is my experience. It happens all the time!
And I begin not to trust all this liers no matter how small....
2006-09-24 21:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋