We have been married 26 years. While he was in high school had a crush on her, but she didn't pay any attention to him, he went to his high school reunion(she was his date. He is 46 and she is 45) and they got to talking and things went from there. This affair has being on for a year. Now that I know about the affair, I told him that I wouldn't pay a dime while he is with her. (We can do this as husband and wife or you can do this alone with her) He has wreck his BMW going to see. He had to work double time to pay his bills. We have a home together and he doesn't want to divorce me. He is staying with her. He told me that he is paying for the car that I am driving( its his car), my health insurance through his job, and giving me money time to time. He doesn't think he is treating me that bad. He may not be giving me any of his time but he loves me and thinks of me. Wants me to be there for him, support him and stay the same loving wife. He knows I love him.
2006-09-24 20:48:13 · 30 answers · asked by Chyna R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow. That's entirely up to you. He may be having a fling that may or may not go anywhere...so he's hoping you'll be there if it doesnt. Make him know that you wont tolerate it for long...sad really...and start divorce proceedings. Maybe he'll wake up out of his fantasy or you can move on with your life and invite someone in. Good luck dear.
2006-09-24 20:54:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. i think of the spouse could concentration greater on her little ones than herself. Six months isn't an extremely long term. The spouse needs to be on her very own 2 feet for awhile and supply herself and the youngsters time to grieve and heal. Even very babies advantage this admire. i do no longer think of the spouse has to offer up adult adult males forever, yet a minimum of a 12 months of being unmarried could be maximum acceptable. I doubt the dating with the suitable chum could final besides. the two one in each of them are attempting to top off a hollow of their lives. whilst they get previous their grief, the two will in all probability locate that they are no longer as nicely matched as they concept. ultimately, the couple could face dissimilar backlash from their families (particularly from the husband's relatives) and buddies. people will assume/suspect that the spouse and suitable chum have been secretly seeing one yet another on the same time as the husband replaced into nevertheless alive.
2016-12-12 14:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh !!! im so sorry to hear that your going through that ( he sucks !!!!). its easy for me to say leave him but im not in your shoes . all i can tell you though is this . if you start doing your own thing going out having fun ( and even making him think that you have another man in your life even as a friend ) . he will start to wonder and he will try to come home. it might take a while. but once that you show him that you can move on without him he wont like that . cuz right now he knows where your at , at all times and he thinks he has you right where he wants you . when he calls dont answer let him think that your busy . if he comes by to see you, let him know that your going out ( make something up even if your not really going anywhere). if he ask you where your going ? you tell him up in ya ( no im just kidding dont say that lol ) . tell him if he was so worry about where your going then he shouldve been home with you and he wouldnt have to worry about nothing.but this is my opinion ( you know what they say about opinions there like ***### everyone has one). but this is my answer . good luck on whatever you do . you should divorce him even if he dosent wont one. he just dosent want to have to give you money and lose his house and everything he has . pretty much your his cushion if anything bad happens between him and her . you need to stop that before you hurt anymore . and remember what dosent kill you will make you stronger .you can always love him but you dont have to be with him ..oh yeah god dosent like ugly you can tell him that too. God bless you
2006-09-24 21:01:32 · answer #3 · answered by apples251 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is all one-sided.....on his side!!Kick this guy and his bint to the kerb hunny,you don't need this-twenty six years down the drain-i can't believe it and feel for you massively(and in anycase,anyone who wrecks a BMW should automatically be given a life sentence anyway,as far as i am concerned:-/)He is using the old guilt trip on you...time to put that parachute on and bail out...you are much better off without these complications.Hope all goes well:-)
2006-09-24 21:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My better judgment says DUMP HIM and move on, BUT, maybe it's a passing phase, a temporary "fix" in your marriage? In other words, maybe he just needs a little time, and maybe you do to?
If you both still love each other, then things will work out, I believe, but this is not a good way to do it, and could backfire, be careful, and best wishes!
2006-09-24 20:53:22 · answer #5 · answered by Life after 45 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him ! Hv been married for 26 yrs and still fooling around ! He think he is still a prince charming ?Not responsible at all !Tell him not okay and money is not everything ! You have to be strong and firm,get good friends or relatives to help you .
2006-09-24 21:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Look , it happens !
Just be careful not to fade !
Agree with him !
Believe me !
It works !
Just keep your smile , and be a real friend !
My dear , please listen to me , when he needs a friend to talk with , be the best one , and when he needs the sex , again try to do it the same fresh and hot you used to do it in the firs days .
If sometimes he talks about that lady , don't get angry or upset or even frostrated ! Listen to him and in that time forget that you are his wife .
Never , never , never complain !
You will make a miracle , just when you are an Angel !
So ;
Please be an angel , and get the miracle done !
I had the same problem in my life , i mean my wife had it !!!!!
For this reason , I have good experience about it .
you can be in touch with me through my e-mail : ehsan_majlessi@yahoo.com
2006-09-24 20:57:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to make it clear, it's only you and him. You deserve more than 1/2 a man and some leftover love. If he truly loves you than he will dump her.
2006-09-24 20:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by Devon M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice? Be strong and hard headed if you must.
If he loves you and loves her, he obviously doesn't know what love is. If he is staying with her, that is cheating. No, it is and should not be okay with you. He is being unselfish, unfaithful, immoral, and inconsiderate. Time to kick him out, move on with your life. Give him a choice either to stay with you and leave her, or stay with her and file divorce.
2006-09-24 20:55:04 · answer #9 · answered by appletech089 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
can u take it?r u his wife or the other woman?ask urself these questions.if he can find someone at this age u can too.why do u want to be deprived of ur rights?ask for a divorce and a good alimony.start living for urself with dignity.trust me u'll love it.
2006-09-24 20:54:02 · answer #10 · answered by archie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋